Well thats got your attention hopefully. Sorry but I dont think this is actually a cure. Since being back on this forum and talking to others I seem to be having a few more good days. Coincidence ? Probably but I like to think not. Today has been a good day. Visited my youngest daughter at Lincoln uni , eldest daughter took me there and had a great catch up ( yes I admit it I miss her ). Then after a little nap ( a first for me in the day) went of to bowling with Headway. I even won a game , how it happened is still a mystery to me. So yes talking on here as put a few fears at rest and helped lighten the dark moods. So its a big big THANK YOU!!!!! to all who have posted/answered on here. It may not be a magic cure but it sure is close.