I'm in a bit of a dilemma. The other day I was talking with a small ( I like to think select) group of friends about life in general when the topic of books came up.
This moved on to the notion of we all have one good book wrapped up inside of us. I laughed and said I doubt anyone would read mine.
Well the discussion went on and they kept on about although I had been initially unlucky with the hand I had been dealt , that how I had overcome things could be inspirational.
Well once my ego had settled down I began to think about it a little more rationally.
Yes I have recovered pretty well . This thanks mainly to the support of my stubborn and once described as pushy ( not by me as I'm still alive ) wife.
I must admit I have given this some thought. I am not even sure I would be bothered about publishing it. Just the process of writing it seems to give me a purpose.
You may ask why write anything if I am not intending it to be published?.
Well here's the rub, I feel the structure of writing it may be good for me and help me appreciate how far I have come. As well as realise who has really helped along the way.
Against this I know every ones journey is different and what works for one does not work for everyone. I would not want to give false hope or question anyone else's journey. Hence the feeling of not publishing.
Now this is where the problem is . When talking about this with others ( non bi). They seem really incouraging until I say I would not feel the need to publish. Even saying that it would terrible not to share any experiences I have encountered...even the bad ones.
Then my wife ( oh how I hate it when she's right) suggested I ask the people who's opinion I really value . The people who are touched with living with a bi either directly or indirectly.
So there it is , be brutally honest . I feel I will write something even if it's a log of my recovery along with a few notes.
I will be honest and say I hope I will abide with majority decision but I may not. I am just wondering am I being selfish ( as one friend said) in not putting any experiences out there.
Sorry for the long thread and thank you if you made it to the end.
Pax
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paxo05
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Hiya! I am astounded that anyone would think you were being selfish! I hope you go ahead and write for yourself and if you ever want anyone else to read it, (one person or millions,) that's another thing entirely. Apart from anything else, writing with an audience in mind might change how you approach it and it also might bring a feeling of pressure on you.
I think it's brilliant that you are hoping to do this. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope it turns out to be a really positive experience for you
I think that writing on any subject is a discovery in itself, whether it has an audience or not. You start with a plan and then, before you know it, it's taken on a life of its own leading you into detours you hadn't intended.
And that's all part of the re-discovery of events, ideas & encounters you'd forgotten or failed to see the significance of first time around.
If you have the discipline and the stamina Pax I say go for it, 'cause whether it's for your eyes only or for publication, it'll be a cognitive adventure...……..and educational along the way (i.e. "I never knew I felt that way about ……...").
It sounds like it was a great conversation with friends.
Write it for yourself.
When you are finished then you might want your wife and friends to have a read.
Just one step at a time.
Write it.
Read it.
Share it with people you trust.
Decide what's next.
Have fun with it and please let us know how you get on.
2020 seems to be being a catalyst year for some of us so sit back, relax and go with the flow.
So true Pax, we all have a story. Quietly waiting to be told. Sounds like you have a supportive bunch of friends including your family.
Why not start writing (in chronological order) for your family, at this stage. They will appreciate it. That removes the pressure from writing, to be published. And you will probably enjoy it all the more. Maybe a good friend could be your editor/proof reader? Just a thought.
No, this is not a selfish act at all. Start to write, it will be so enjoyable and meaningful for you. Everyone doesnt have to share everything we have. People write journals, personal diaries, personal letters etc... and no one would suggest that those should be shared. Writing can bring perspective and clarity, it can help prioritize and place things in order. Writing can be emotional, fun, creative, factual, wild and free. Things that at times we feel we have lost. We can do so many things when we write, like all art... we can run and dance and fly on the page. Write, write for you. Put pen to paper and own it.
Paxo the first thing I read after my bleed was about your brain talking to you and saying it needs our help...it helped me as it was not too long and so kept my interest. As a page long.
My brain could cope with short reads but I tried books closed them and forgot where I was up to. So read all over again. Go for it if you feel you can do it xxxxxx Good Luck
Write it and share it, I like you have recovered well from my TBI. My husband kept a very detailed journal of my recovery process, all 260 pages of it! From my initial injury, through the critical care stage, craniotomy, sepsis, tracheostomy, cranioplasty, rehab, PTA etc, etc. I remember little of the first two months post trauma and after reading the journal it made me realise how close to death I was, how hard he thought to ensure I received the best possible care and how many people participated in my recovery journey, from surgeons, nursing staff, therapists on so on. It also filled in many gaps in my memory. I know he found it difficult to find positive stories of recovery and the steps of the recovery process. I know not everyone has such a positive recovery journey but if it gives just one person hope on the start of their journey then it is a book worth writing. Good luck
Hi, What I think can get forgotten very easily is that people's reasons for considering doing something are very personal and individual.
I have always got something out of putting my thoughts down in some form, be it travel journals from my teens, escapist fiction, or writing for a sports club. I have always done it, primarily, because I have felt it worthwhile to me.
The majority of what I have written has not been published...that was never my intention, it was for what I got out of doing it. Yes, I have had copies made of books, but that was to give to the person or people I had in mind when I was writing.
The nonsense verse I have written since needing surgery in June is my own way of exercising the communication skills I want to keep active. Aside from this very selective environment, it has never been my intention to seek a wider audience for my escapism...That isn't why I put things together in the first place.
I believe that anything we create is to do with as WE see fit. People might suggest that 'putting it out there' is 'essential', but this may just be their stumbling attempts to be encouraging.
If you are writing for your own reasons, there IS no issue of 'selfishness', as what you choose to share of your own thoughts and experience is and always will be yours alone. No doubt, people will be interested in what you have to say, but, ultimately, they are your take on something that affects you...perhaps a clue as to where the decision should always lie.
The positive benefits I have gained through what I write are difficult to quantify, but in terms of structuring, ordering and simply thinking creatively I believe they cannot be underestimated.
I hope, whatever you decide to do, it is as beneficial as I believe what I do is to me.
Did it myself 23 years ago, even got it published. They are a few copies floating around on Amazon somewhere. A few of our group members here have read it, I believe, I know Cat was one of the first.
It certainly did me a power of good. It sort put a full stop on the story up to that point. People said it would be very therapeutic, cathartic even and they weren't wrong.
In short, go for it, you have nothing at all to lose.
Hi, I think write it for yourself to start as this is therapy within itself. You may wish to take it further later on or you simply may not. Your journey is your journey and it's your choice if you wish to share it.
You have some awesome comments from others on your post. Good luck and all the best
Well Pax, I don't know your story, so there you go, you have a story to tell. I'm quite good at a tale, and people have said I should write a book, my problem is that specific issues trigger memories, so the writing process might be a long process.
I think anything that gives insight into BI is good, as long as you cover it with a caviat that your story is not definitive, and everyone's story would be different, I'd say go for it.
It might be worth joining a creative writing course to hone your skills, then all you have to do is write. Writing is a bit like acting, there are more waiters than actors, and the same can be said about writers, but if you don't give it a go, you will never know if you are the next big seller.
Thanks. The creative writing course is something I have thought about joining . Hopefully as way of planning the best way of writing. Oh how I love a plan.
I have decided to give it a go with no set deadlines so as to avoided the dreaded feeling of failure. How it turns out and how far I will get I haven't a clue.
I think writing about your journey would be an excellent choice... Whether you decide to publish it or not! What if you just choose to write it for the fun of expressing yourself and your experiences... And see what happens.
I'd love to write a book myself (iv always wanted to) even before my sons TBI and iv had similar fears stop me before now... 'who would want to read it??' 'what if its rubbish?' etc but I can honestly say... If someone had pointed me in the direction of a book detailing their experience of BI and one supporting a loved one with BI I'd have bought it by now!! So I think there would be many others interested.
It would be great on a personal level as it will celebrate how far you have come... And I'd imagine your wife would be super proud!!
I decided at the beginning of the year to write mine (even if nobody reads it) I feel its important for me to express my journey now and if my son ever wants to read it... Its there for him!
I think you should definitely write it whether it is for your benefit or others at first. You should also think about getting it published when you feel ready. it can be therapeutic but also you are opening yourself up to others but I would guess that all of us that have brain injuries are inspired by the stories of others. I wish you luck with it. Of course if it opens up wounds or disturbing thoughts or feelings we will all be here to talk about them with you, My love and best wishes to you
Thank you. I will admit the thought of visiting certain parts of my life is a worry to me. There are parts where I am not proud of who or what I was. I know I will visit these places but I am thankful they are in the past.
As being open to criticism that doesnt bother me. I believe we are all entitled to our opinion....I may not agree with that opinion but that is my right.
I am afraid I will also literally be writing my past down as typing frustrates me as I am constantly retyping it.
Do it for yourself - you may find it is an illuminating process. You can write freely and without worrying about who might read it and what they might think. You can decide later on down the line what, if anything , you want to do with what you have written.
I was a writer before my TBI - not so much since because memory issues are not conducive but I did write"my story" a few years after my TBI , mainly using information from my journal (a necessity for me after finding myself with the memory and attention span of a dead goldfish) . I did show my draft copy to a couple of people "in the industry" to get their honest opinion which was really useful. I still have the file of around 75 thousand words of unpublished opus. Every now and again I open it and read a little with the intent of starting the edit process...and every time I make a couple of amendments before I close it again, completely overwhelmed. The interesting and slightly weird thing for me is that with my memory issues every time I read it, it is like I am reading someone else's story.
Go for it Paxo... write your truths...and have fun doing it.
Yep it can open up a whole raft of feelings we thought were dealt with...but it can also provide a chance to revisit and reassess some of those feelings and maybe give them some context.
Hope you can enjoy the process - would love to know how you get on
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but I did write"my story" a few years after my TBI , mainly using information from my journal (a necessity for me after finding myself with the memory and attention span of a dead goldfish) . I did show my draft copy to a couple of people "in the industry" to get their honest opinion which was really useful. I still have the file of around 75 thousand words of unpublished opus. Every now and again I open it and read a little with the intent of starting the edit process...and every time I make a couple of amendments before I close it again, completely overwhelmed. The interesting and slightly weird thing for me is that with my memory issues every time I read it, it is like I am reading someone else's story.
Anyone else use the I’ve got BI excuse? 
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