Struggling with depression : Can anyone help me... - Glaucoma UK

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Struggling with depression

Charliecat123 profile image
160 Replies

Can anyone help me? I’m feeling so so depressed. I have glaucoma in both eyes..had trabeculectomy in both eyes in 2019. Since then I’ve had a needling in the one eye and now the pressure is raised in the other eye. I also have a problem with my cornea in both eyes …one worse than the other….caused by dry eyes I think. I feel my vision is getting worse and I’m due to see a different consultant in 2 weeks. He’s going to look at my corneas and maybe to meibomian probing….I’m not sure about this…the doctors seem to just rush every examination and there’s very little discussion about what’s wrong and what to do about it. I was given some drops called Ikervis for the dry eye and put back on glaucoma drops in the eye with raised pressure. I am also having surgery for hip replacement in 3 weeks time.

I live alone and don’t see much of my family. I feel so alone and unable to cope with all this by myself. I wake up in a panic several times a night. I’m so frightened and lonely and can’t see the way ahead at all. I need help but there’s no one here.

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Charliecat123
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160 Replies

Oh Charliecat this is lot to be dealing with on your own and it's no wonder it's overwhelming you at the moment. You aren't alone,there is always someone here to listen to you. I'm glad to hear you have found a new consultant, I hope he listens to your concerns, answers questions and explains exactly what his treatment plan is for you and why. Not every consultant does rush through your examination, some really do listen and give assurance, you just haven't found one yet unfortunately.

Between your eye appointment and your hip replacement, you do have a lot on your mind, both are a great deal to cope , especially at the same time.

Hopefully once you have recovered from your hip replacement you will be able to get out and about more.

Have you spoke to your GP about the tough time you are having at the moment as I don't think you should be trying to carry on feeling this way alone. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thank you Witchie346 I’m just trying to keep going but it’s hard on your own. Mornings are the worse times. It’s difficult trying to get to speak to a doctor….and they will offer anti depressants which don’t work..and I don’t want to take. Thank you for caring.

in reply toCharliecat123

I agree that Drs often try to prescribe anti depressants rather than offering talking therapies which for me would be the preferable option. You are brave ploughing on through all of this. I really do hope once you've seen new consultant in a fortnight it may help with the way you are feeling. You have had no luck with your consultants so far, so it's time you had one who showed the understanding that you need.

I do care as I hate to think of you going through this and feeling so low . X

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, I know you said you find mornings worst, so I thought I would send you a wee message this morning.It's lovely to see how many caring people responded to your post.

I hope you do phone Glaucoma UK, I did when I was first diagnosed and I'm sure I just garbled and made no sense but they were so supportive regardless.

Remember there are people here who do care. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks Witchie346 ..it’s so thoughtful of you ! I hate mornings cos I feel panicky and lonely. I will try to phone glaucoma uk. It’s nice that so many people responded…it really helps me feel less alone with this thank you xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I'm glad that all the replies have helped. I just don't like the thought of you feeling this way and if I can do anything to make you feel a tiny bit better I will. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thank you so much. I appreciate it…you are very kind x

in reply toCharliecat123

You deserve people being kind to you. You are having a bad time just now and you are doing your very best to deal with it x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks for being there. I’m feeling rubbish this morning but will have to give myself a good talking to 😂

in reply toCharliecat123

Sorry to hear that today isn't a better day for you. I don't know about you but I find the nearer I get to an eye clinic appointment the more worried I become about it. It's not logical as the outcome will be the same worried or not but feelings and emotions aren't logical. I know you have said you struggle sleeping and lack of sleep definitely has an adverse effect on how we feel .

Is the new Dr you are going to see at a new hospital or the same hospital ?

You really aren't alone, you have so many people here now who do understand and are there for you.x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi. Thanks for replying. I have an appointment on 21st of this month at same hospital with a different doctor….I have written and explained my worries to PALS at the hospital and asked to be referred to a bigger hospital as they have no actual glaucoma specialist at my current hospital..just an ophthalmologist…still waiting for a reply 4 weeks after writing. Thanks for keeping in touch. I hope you are doing well? X

in reply toCharliecat123

Hopefully you will hear soon, I think everything is taking forever now. With luck the new doctor though not a glaucoma specialist will at least listen to your concerns and take time explaining everything to you.I was very lucky as I was seeing a glaucoma specialist privately and had my cataract ops done by him and now I'm actually on his NHS list and had my trab done on NHS. He has a very kind,understanding manner as well as being a great doctor, which makes all the difference .

I've just been out walking my dog in the rain, it's wet but warm and lots of midges unfortunately !!! X

Wales99 profile image
Wales99

Bless you. This really is a lot to be dealing with on your own. Like Hidden says, hopefully your new consultant will be better. You can always give the Glaucoma UK helpline a ring too 0333 577 9444. They are very helpful and reassuring. You are not alone. As Witchie346 also says, there is always someone to talk to on here. 😊.

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toWales99

Thank you Wales99. I appreciate your reply. It is very hard on your own.

Sixtiesgirl profile image
Sixtiesgirl

Hello Charliecat, what a time you’re having, I do feel for you. The previous reply said what I was thinking as I read your post, to call the Glaucoma UK helpline. Glad you have a new Consultant and hopefully someone who’ll listen to you. I wish you well with your imminent hip replacement surgery, cope with one thing at a time, and I will be thinking of you.

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toSixtiesgirl

Thank you so much for your message..it really does help to make me feel less alone in this situation xx

Rachel_GlaucomaUK profile image
Rachel_GlaucomaUKPartner

Hi Charliecat123 ,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Here at Glaucoma UK we have a helpline team who can give advice, guidance and information to support you at every stage of your glaucoma journey. I'd really encourage you to give our friendly team a call.

Call the helpline on 01233 64 81 70 or email helpline@glaucoma.ukWe’re open 9.30am – 5.00pm on weekdays.

If you call outside these working hours, just leave a message and we’ll call you back as soon as possible.

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toRachel_GlaucomaUK

Thanks Rachel. I will try to phone the helpline. I just feel that I will burst into tears and not be able to explain!

Rachel_GlaucomaUK profile image
Rachel_GlaucomaUKPartner in reply toCharliecat123

That's not a problem at all. We're here for you whatever you need. Take care.

Longwalks3 profile image
Longwalks3

I really feel for you Charliecat. I so hope the ikervis helps soon and that your new consultant works out as well. It is so important to feel that you are being listened to. Do hope you wil be well supported after your hip replacement op.

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toLongwalks3

Thank you so much. I’m trying to keep going…the messages help. X

Sunshine88888888 profile image
Sunshine88888888

Hi Charlie my heart goes out to you! I totally agree with everything that everyone has already said. I too live on my own and have been so thankful that there are such good people in this community who you may never meet however you know they care and understand. I have also phoned the Glaucoma helpline and every one I’ve spoken to has had the time to listen and offer me support. I really can’t speak more highly of them. I’ve just had emergency cataract op to help reduce pressure in my left eye, back for post op visit this Weds, and July 13th I’m having a biopsy on the lower lid of my right eye. Please do keep in contact to let us all know how you are doing even if it just a hello! I really do understand the feeling of being alone so believe me when I say this is a brilliant community and we support each other! Take care xx

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toSunshine88888888

Thank you for your lovely message. Good luck with your appointment on Wednesday..let me know how you get on. Yes it’s hard on your own but it’s also nice to be able to support each other. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toSunshine88888888

Hi …I just wanted to say that I’m wishing you well for today. I worry a lot about hospital visits and tests. I’m sure you will be fine xx

Sunshine88888888 profile image
Sunshine88888888 in reply toCharliecat123

Thank you so much! It’s so comforting to know I have such dear friends in this community. Just a few hours to go! The sun is shining so out walking, actually sitting in a beautiful grave yard. Sounds awful however it surrounds a beautiful church and there are so many people sitting and walking by. Just feels calming and lovely to be outside. Going to wal round the village too and find another bench 🤣hope your outside too, somewhere with flowers, birds and blue sky. Take care xx

in reply toSunshine88888888

Hi Sunshine how was your appointment yesterday, I have been thinking about you. I hope it went well. I actually love old graveyards too, I find them very peaceful and calming. X

Sunshine88888888 profile image
Sunshine88888888 in reply to

Hi sorry I was too exhausted to reply yesterday, there seemed so much to sort out after the afternoon appointment. All seems well with my left eye, now been referred for cataract on right eye hopefully in two months. Have to have laser on left eye as vision is blurry due to hazy capsule and also biopsy on right eyelid on July 13th. So by my reckoning by Christmas my left and right eyes will have hopefully responded to the numerous procedures. I still have to take glaucoma drops 5 times a day plus dry eye drops. Consultant doesn’t want me to stop. Opticians was fun yesterday, they were convinced that because I had the cataract done I wouldn’t need a new lens for my left eye, it took a while however I think I managed to convince them that actually a new lens wasn’t going to help my vision as my left eye is a lazy eye and therefore it’s the brain which needs seeing to and also my cataract op was to give more space inside my eye to help reduce pressure 🤣 I had to laugh, anyway I’ve agreed to go back in July but I’m not going to get new glasses until both eyes have been sorted! Still not allowed to garden etc however I’m allowed to drive! Only problem my car needs fixing due to the recent squirrel attack! So that was another job for yesterday. Hopefully a friend has volunteered to cut my grass, and to cap it all as you know I’m a carer for mum who lives a few miles away. No car, but I can get bus, great but they have closed access for vehicles to her village whilst train line barriers are being repaired! So either I walk for best part of an hour or get bus to nearest town and walk to mums 30 mins hopefully. Well what can I say, these challenges are sent to test us! Hope everyone is ok! Just so grateful for this community, it’s so good to share. We all have very different journeys however we are here for each other! Take care xx

in reply toSunshine88888888

I don't know quite where to start, you don't like to make things easy . Firstly great your consultant is pleased so far and also it's a positive that you are getting cataract op in right eye . I know it's a pain but the sooner it's over with the better . It's a shame however you are still on so many drops but your consultant is being cautious which is a good thing. Biopsy and laser too, unfortunately all necessary so 2022 better be a great year for you.

I was told not to get eyes tested till 8 weeks after cataract op and I waited till both eyes had been done too. You must have been completely exhausted after hospital appointment and your opticians which obviously was a struggle !!!

Thank goodness for your friend cutting grass, it was 4 weeks before I could do anything like that so don't be tempted !!!

Complete nightmare about caring for your mum and lack of vehicle access. Neither of your two options are ideal and walking in this heat is not pleasant. You are certainly being tested but must be due some respite very soon.

I hope that pesky little squirrel feels guilty that he has added to all of this. Hope you manage to get car mended soon.

Take care x

Sunshine88888888 profile image
Sunshine88888888 in reply to

Yes the pesky squirrel better run on Monday if the car quote is huge 🤣

in reply toSunshine88888888

Fingers crossed it isn't too expensive. Only you could have such a destructive wee squirrel x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toSunshine88888888

Hi Sunshine. You too have a lot on your plate. You are doing so well and keeping positive all the time which is brilliant. It must be difficult looking after your mum and having no car…these things always seem to happen at the worse possible time don’t they. How are your pressures after your cataract op..good I hope. I have the beginning of cataracts in both eyes so that will be something for the future!! I need new glasses but like you I’m waiting until my eyes have recovered otherwise it’s just a waste of money isn’t it. I hope you are feeling less tired now. It’s nice ti hear from you and it’s also so nice to listen and support each other xx

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toSunshine88888888

Hello Sunshine. Hope you are ok today and your appointment went well. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.x

valfrance profile image
valfrance

Hi Charliecat, you need a big hug and someone to spend some time with for a coffe.. Are you able to walk at all, just get out for some fresh air. I don't know what age you are, there must be some support you can get from the glaucoma society, a buddy system at least to talk on the phone.

Just to let you know I had a replacement hip operation 2 years ago, i was driving within 6 weeks again, walking around immediately. i suggest when you get it, order through the NHS an electric bed, it was a life safer for me, you don't need anyone then to help you in and out. get all your aids arranged first, raised seat for the toilet, walker, a grabber to reach for things. i live in france and all of these things were provided. it will make your life so much easier.

In the meantime, when you go to see your specialist quote ' they have a duty of care to provide the best service for my physical and mental health'..... this is what the NHS state. Therefore, when someone is rushing you and making your feel uncomfortable and you don't understand... stop them talking immediately and tell them that you are depressed and worried you need time for explanations and to be explained the outcome of everything they are doing. You appreciate they are busy, however you have waited a long time for the consultation and during that time you are going through hell.... just make them listen....take care valfrance

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply tovalfrance

Thank you Valfrance for taking the time to reply to me. I can’t really walk very far and I can no longer drive because of my eyesight. It really is hard to cope. I feel I’ve been strong for the last two years but I can’t do it any longer. Just need some support and definitely need a hug and a coffee with someone..you are so right! I need to call glaucoma support…but I think I will just cry and not be able to explain!! X

Redshoes15 profile image
Redshoes15

Hi Charlicat, so very sorry to hear you feel so depressed. I can also only echo what has already been said - I think we all know exactly how you feel and have been there so often ourselves. Glaucoma is a very frightening thing to have, the one thing to remember is that so many different treatment options are available and the doctors are duty bound to do all in their power to safeguard your sight. If one consultant doesn’t answer your questions or give you the support you need you are quite entitled to ask for a second opinion. As others have said, do ring the helpline for advice and don’t worry about being emotional. They are more than used to that! I find that this journey is an emotional roller coaster, up one day and down the next, that’s why it’s so important to get support from others if you live alone. I do hope you soon feel better, sending you love and hugs xx

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toRedshoes15

Thank you so much. I’m just lying on the bed…done nothing today. I’m so tired of feeling like this. It’s hard on your own with no support. Would just like to go out for a coffee and sit in the sun and have some company 😢

Redshoes15 profile image
Redshoes15 in reply toCharliecat123

Completely understand. Have had long periods of my life alone too. Believe me you will get through this and life will be better again xx

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toRedshoes15

Thank you . I hope you are right…it doesn’t feel that way at the moment! I really appreciate you reply…it helps a lot. X

Lovemy2woofs profile image
Lovemy2woofs

Sending you a great big hug.Use this forum to chat to us all and do phone the helpline .

Next time you go for an appt , explain to them your fears and that you are on your own .

I appreciate the NHS is under pressure , but it’s not the patients fault , a lack of empathy is often the issue as these days from what I seen so many feel like appts are rushed through , probably due to Covid backlogs too .

Get something to take your mind off it for a bit, maybe an audio book , and lay on bed , relax and listen to that so your mind and body can relax and focus on the story being read to you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toLovemy2woofs

Thank you so much for replying. I feel like it’s keeping me going reading the replies from so many lovely people out there. I have another appointment in 2 weeks and then I have my hip replacement surgery the following week. It’s just so much to deal with. X

valfrance profile image
valfrance

Hi charliecat, good morning I should say... I can't sleep its 3am in france and i was thinking about you... I went for a pressure test today as i had slt 3 months ago... just checking to see if its ok... it was slightly up and I worry so much... I am a borne worrier just to let you know. I went to bed and was thinking about you again, so i just got up and typed this to you... Today is a new day and you have to occupy yourself otherwise it will be a long day. You said you cannot walk, well somehow you are taking care of yourself every day so you must be able to walk a little. Or start a hobby that you can easily manage. I think you need to find a buddy in the glaucoma forum to talk to on the phone. You are going through so much and you must be a strong person. We are all here to listen, or send a message and you must know that even though we all do not know eachother, we feel like we belong to a group of 'friends' as we know how important it is to be heard, especially when we are so worried about our mutual condition. will try to go to sleep now, I get nights like this... so charliecat you do have 'friends'. take care valfrance

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply tovalfrance

Hi val. thanks for messaging me. I know what you mean about worrying..I just can’t stop. I think that you can only have a telephone buddy from Glaucoma UK if you are about to have a glaucoma procedure/operation…it’s just for that unfortunately cos I could really do with a phone friend!! When I said I can’t walk I meant I can’t go out walking which is what used to keep me sane!!! I can walk around the house and if I go out anywhere else I need a crutch. Sorry your pressures are up a bit…but I think they vary quite a bit throughout the day anyway so don’t worry too much about it…says she who worries all the time 😂. Thank you for keeping in touch on here. I have an eye clinic appointment on 21st June….so scared!! I just try to go one day at a time xx

valfrance profile image
valfrance in reply toCharliecat123

hi thanks for replying. can you request an electric wheelchair and assistance from the government.. there must be some help you can get. you cannot stay trapped. how do you get your shopping...valfrance

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, just checking to see how you are this morning ?I see you can't walk outside without a crutch so although I know your hip replacement is scary I really do hope it will make the biggest difference to you. If you can get out and about and walk again it will be so good for you. I don't really know the recovery time but I remember my father in law up a ladder painting his garage windows only weeks after his hip replacement and us all being horrified. It gave him his freedom back again as he had been stuck in the house too. Hopefully it will do the same for you.

I am always scared before eye appointments too, I have an optician's appointment next week and I dread the field test and pressure check, I think it's a natural fear. One day at time is definitely the best way to go.

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thanks for checking on me this morning. I’m ok…ish. Mornings are not great really. Yes I really want to get the hip surgery over and done with and then to get the recovery period under way. Walking really used to help me keep positive and I’ve really missed getting outside. I don’t really know how I will be after the op or how long it takes to be able to walk unaided…find out soon. My op is on 28th June so not long now.

Good luck at your optician appointment….I haven’t had a field test for ages…never get them at optician..just at hospital when I go for checks there. I really hate glaucoma…wish there was a cure!! X

in reply toCharliecat123

I had just written you a reply and it disappeared,no idea what I did wrong !!!Walking definitely does help when you are feeling down,it's great just to get out and about and hopefully before too long that will be you . My father in law was playing golf within a couple of months and was totally pain free which made such a difference to his his state of mind.

My optician diagnosed my glaucoma after previous optician had completely missed the signs so she always gives me a field test and checks my pressures. She is great at her job and has lots of empathy too.

I also hate glaucoma and wish there was a cure but I'm hopeful one day there will be. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hello again Witchie346…keep messaging me it’s lovely to hear from you. I keep getting messages you have sent to Sunshine….I don’t know why but I get a notification on email that you have sent me a message and it is for sunshine…..something weird is happening!!! It’s good that you have a good helpful optician. It makes such a difference to have support and empathy.

I am longing to get back in the garden and potter about and cut the grass. It makes such a difference to your well being to spend time outside. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh that's weird. Maybe because my message to Sunshine is in your original post . Don't worry I will keep messaging you.

Yes my optician is really lovely , the whole team are, it's a small independent all female business.

I agree I like pottering in my garden too and yes it's good for your well-being . I love flowers they just make me smile and feel happy. X

in reply toCharliecat123

Morning Charliecat, it's a bit miserable looking here today, hopefully sunnier where you are as it's lovely having the sun shining in. I'm tired this morning and just poured blueberries into my dog's bowl instead of onto my porridge !!!!Is it this week coming you have your eye appointment or the following week?

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thanks for message. It’s been a nice sunny day here. My 2 granddaughters have been with me today and we have been outside most of the afternoon. I really tired now but it was so nice to have them with me.I laughed at you nearly putting blueberries in the dogs bowl..sounds a lot like me sometimes!

My appointment is 21st June for eyes and then following week for hip surgery! 😳

Hope you have had a good day x

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh that's great, how lovely to have had your granddaughters with you today. A very nice reason to be tired. How old are they ?I've had a lovely day thanks, the weather cheered up and I went for a really long walk with my friend and my dog. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’m glad you had a nice day. My granddaughters are 4 and 6. They are so lively and funny..they always cheer me up if I’m feeling down. Hard work aswell always up to some mischief!! I’m really tired now..going to bed soon. Good night xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Morning Charliecat, I hope you had a good night's sleep after your lovely day yesterday. Your granddaughters are definitely at a full on, lively age but are the best medicine for cheering you up. Being outside would have done you good too. It's meant to be a scorcher today so I'm going to take my dog out early as she isn't great in the heat. She has the groomers on Wednesday so she will be getting a shorter clip then and feel more comfortable in the heat.

Today I managed to put my blueberries in my own bowl 🤣 x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I hope you have a lovely day..it’s really hot and sunny here today. I’ve done a bit of gardening and now I’ve come inside for a rest. I envy you having a dog…I love animals and used to have a little Jack Russell dog but sad to say he had to be put to sleep in 2015…he was 16. Now I have a cat and I don’t think he would like me to get another dog. What do you like to do in your spare time? Are you still working? Glad you managed to get it right this morning!! I love blueberries…not so much porridge..but it’s good for you. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

It's very hot here today too but there is a lovely breeze coming in from the loch. I have done some weeding and sat and read outside for a little while. My dog has a little sun bed with a canopy and a cool mat so she has been resting there. You will miss not having a dog, Jack Russell's are such energetic wee things and very cute. I agree I don't think your cat would appreciate the arrival of another dog but they are such great company.I was lucky enough to retire at 52 so that's 7 years ago now, we had 3 years of lots of great city breaks abroad and then I got Lu and I just couldn't leave her in a kennel so no more holidays abroad .

I love reading,walking and working out, before covid I liked going to cinema and the theater and going out for meals. I also enjoy cooking I've been vegetarian since I was 17 and like to make everything myself. I bake a lot too but I like cupcakes, cookies and brownies but I'm not so keen on making large cakes.

I have porridge and blueberries every morning, I think it's the required breakfast as I'm Scottish ☺️, though it should be made with salt yuk .

Do you have any hobbies ?

Enjoy your rest after your gardening x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. It’s so nice to hear from you. You sound like a very busy lady. I retired last year after a long period of sick leave. I spend my time pottering about in garden on good days when I am not in too much pain. I used to do a lot of walking but sadly am not able now as you know…I really miss that. My hip operation is soon and I will be glad to get it over and done with . I can’t wait to get out walking again!! It’s nice you have a dog..they are lovely and good company on a walk.I hope you are ok and enjoying the sunshine. X

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, good to hear from you. Our sunshine has departed and it's pretty overcast but as long as it's dry I'm happy.I like to keep busy, I always worked shifts apart from when pregnant so I'm used to always being on the go.

It's a shame you haven't been able to enjoy your retirement the way you should but hopefully once you are up and recovered from your hip op it will be different. There will be no stopping you once you are out and about again.

With a dog you meet so many more people when you are out especially when she's as cute and fluffy as Lu. Unfortunately Lu isn't interested in many people, she has her favourites and just ignores everyone else, she's the same with dogs. She is a major diva 🤣. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Hope you are ok this morning and the sun is shining there. Are you in Scotland? I’m in Wales and it’s a beautiful morning. I’m not good in the mornings..haven’t got dressed yet! The sunshine makes a difference though …I will go out in the garden in a bit. I went to the garden centre with my sister yesterday and bought a few bedding plants so will be putting them in pots today. My son and his wife and baby are coming here for the weekend so I am looking forward to that too.Hope you are ok and maybe out walking with your dog. Do you have a garden and enjoy working in it? Being outside somehow helps us all to feel better I think. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Morning Charliecat, I am just about to take my dog out as I am running late this morning. I have just been dithering rather than getting organised.No rush to get dressed just take your time, I have literally just had a shower and git dressed myself.

I do live in the west of Scotland in a tiny wee rural village on the side of a loch, it's very pretty mostly old Victorian houses.

I have only been in Wales once for literally 10 minutes ,we got off a plane in Cardiff and had to run off the plane, through the airport and back onto plane !!!

I have always wanted to go to Portmerion, ( hope I've spelt it correctly)it is on my bucket list.

I love a garden centre and always spend a fortune, that was good you had a wee wander round one with your sister yesterday. I do have a garden and I love pottering around in it, I do the weeding but my partner does all the planting and maintenance. I agree just being out in the garden does make me at least feel happy especially if it's sunny.

I'm seeing my son and his girlfriend on Saturday, we are going for lunch and a walk, dog friendly restaurant obviously !!!!

That's great your seeing your son and family at weekend, it helps to have something to look forward to. Enjoy planting your new flowers. I better run as Lu is losing patience now x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. How are you today. The weather has been so nice these past few days..I know some places have had thunderstorms but not here. I’ve been doing a bit of gardening…as much as I can with my poorly hip!!Hope you are ok and enjoying your walks with your little dog. Port Meirion is lovely..I’ve been there a couple of times with my son…well worth a visit!

I have an eye clinic appointment on Monday…I’m starting to get a bit twitchy about it…hate going…will have to do field test too 😢then the following Monday I am having my hip surgery!! Think I’ll run away! It’s good we can all talk on here though. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I am just in from a beach walk with Lu and I was actually thinking about your appointment on Monday . It is a horrible thought as you have no idea what you are going to be told. I had my optician's appointment yesterday and it was fine, my field test and scan show no further deterioration and my pressure in trab eye still 16 and other eye is 17. So all in all not too bad. I did feel hot and my eye was all red and agitated with all the prodding but it's over with now.I hope you got all your new plants in the garden, it's lovely when they all start to flower. I have lots of pots filled with a complete assortment of plants, my garden is just a mish mash of all the flowers I love. I always have Livingstone daisies as my dad always grew them for me and I love the way they open up in the sunshine.

I am definitely going to make my partner take me to Port Meirion.

It's good your son is coming this weekend before your eye clinic appointment as it will help stop you thinking about it and it will be lovely to see him and his family.

Have you got a lift all organised for Monday ?

Sometimes running away does seem like a good idea 🤔.

I'll speak to you before Monday anyway. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Nice to hear from you. You are lucky to live near to a beach…I just love the sea..haven’t been for ages. Yeah my son is coming for the weekend but not til Saturday now..sometimes they come on Friday night but it will disrupt Oscars bed time routine …they are just about managing to get him to go in his cot awake and get himself off to sleep..before that they had to rock him to sleep and he was waking several times in the night..which is exhausting isn’t it. He’s 8 months old now.I’m dreading the clinic appointment on Monday. I go by myself and have hospital transport. I know I have to have a field test and I know it won’t be good! I haven’t had one for 2 years and I’ve definitely lost more vision…it’s frightening! I always feel like crying when I’m there…the consultants are so off hand and not very kind…it’s just a job to them. I don’t think they ever stop to consider how we feel. I also have cornea erosions from dry eye problems after all the surgery! Oh well …just plod on….

Family don’t really understand and I don’t really talk about it much..no point. It’s good to talk on here to people who understand though.

Hope you have a nice weekend…the weather is going downhill I think from this weekend…oh well was nice while it lasted.

Please keep in touch…I’m feeling very wobbly 😢 xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat you are understandably feeling wobbly, you have eye appointment and then your hip op to contend with. Big hugs. Field tests are scary and I just find them so difficult,I concentrate so hard and try not to blink for fear of missing something. Fingers crossed your results won't be as bad as you are expecting . I do hope the consultant has more empathy on Monday and listens to your concerns, a tiny bit of kindness goes a long way. Surely there must be something else they can do to help your dry eyes problems.

I don't think anyone who doesn't have glaucoma themselves can ever truly understand, having people who totally get it certainly makes a difference.

My son just would not sleep in a cot, so he just slept in our bed, as we both worked shifts and it was easier than constant exhaustion and then having to get up at 5am for an early shift.

It's a shame your son isn't coming till tomorrow but still nice to look forward to.

I better go and get showered and dressed and take Lu out.

More hugs to you as today isn't a good day x

in reply toCharliecat123

Morning Charliecat , hope today is a bit better for you. You'll get a cuddle with your wee grandson. Have a lovely day with your family.I'm chopping cucumber and carrots for Lu as I need to pack a doggy lunch for her. Restaurant I'm going to with my son and girlfriend do doggy pupaccinos so she will enjoy that I'm sure.

Hugs to you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346 I hope you have a lovely lunch time with you son. My son and family have arrived..they have gone to see his dad this afternoon as it’s Father’s Day tomorrow…will be back later. It’s lovely to see my little grandson..he’s grown such a lot and getting very cheeky and cute…and he knows it. The football is on the tv and I can’t find the remote to change channels!! Sick of football. Feeling tired today…and Monday is on my mind. Oh…what’s a doggy pupaccino?? 😂 xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Morning Charliecat I hope you managed to find the remote and get rid off the football, I am not a fan either. Much as I am sure it was lovely having your family there it will be tiring when you aren't feeling great and have Monday's appointment on your mind. I know it is scary, especially as it's been so long since you've had a field test and you will worry it's difficult not to. What time is your appointment?

I had an excellent time with my son and his girlfriend, lunch was delicious especially the giant meringue,fresh fruit salad and cream I had for dessert 😋!!!! Lu loved her puppaccinno, it's just frothed up milk with couple of doggy biscuits and they drew a wee dog and her name in the froth,so cute.

We went for a walk in a park afterwards and Lu was off her lead running around thoroughly enjoying herself.

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. My son and family have just gone home…it’s so hard to see them go..I try not to but I always cry! My little grandson is getting big..he’s 8 months and so cute and funny.I’m really scared about tomorrow’s appointment. It’s at 3.10 ..I’m dreading it..I’m really worried they are going to tell me something bad! Then a week today I will be getting ready to go in to hospital for my hip replacement surgery.

I’ve had a lovely weekend ..but it’s hard keeping all the fear and sadness inside….I don’t want to upset my son and I didn’t want to spoil the weekend.

I’m glad you had a nice meal with your son and girlfriend. The fruit salad sounds delicious..just what I would like for dessert.

I’m trying to keep cheerful now they have gone. It feels so lonely but I need to grit my teeth and plod on and hope for the best!

Thanks for keeping in touch. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat it will be so difficult when you've had company this weekend including your lovely wee grandson for them then to leave, no wonder you always cry, it's natural.I am glad you had such a good weekend but trying not to spoil the weekend or upset your son by hiding your fears and emotions takes its toll on you.

I wish I could help you be less scared about tomorrow, I think we probably all worry we are going to be told something awful at every eye appointment. I really will be thinking about you and hoping for the best . Having your hip op too in a week's time is an awful lot for you to be having to cope with. In a few weeks though hopefully you'll be physically feeling so much better and having no pain with make a huge difference to the way you are feeling.

Hugs from me and licks from Lu. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’ve been awake a lot in the night. I’m just crying all the time which doesn’t help but I can’t control it. I wish I could be stronger! Have a real fear about this appointment this afternoon and have nobody with me to help and support. Just going via hospital transport with a stranger. 😢

in reply toCharliecat123

Charliecat you are so overwhelmed by all of this and really need someone to hold your hand and make you feel listened to. I'm so sorry to hear you've been crying all night but I do understand sometimes it's so hard to stop once you start.I know the person taking you in patient transport will be a stranger but if I volunteered for that job I would listen and be kind because that's my basic nature and I genuinely care about people and that stranger could well be the same. It's not the same as family but just someone to talk to who listens and empathises would be good.

It is scary you've not been there in so long and had no field test but glaucoma usually progresses very slowly so I have everything crossed for you. Lack of sleep is not good for your emotional welfare and makes you more weepy and less able to cope so I hope you can even have a wee sleep before this afternoon.

Let me know how you get on x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thank you Witchie346. I just wish the appointment was this morning instead of having to wait until 3.10 this afternoon….just want to get it over with.Hope you are ok. Nice sunny day here. Take your little doggie 🐶 out. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I've just been out with Lu and we met a Spanish water dog who was so like Lu, same colouring, markings and same light eye colour. They were very cute together.I hate afternoon appointments too, the waiting is awful, unfortunately mine are always in afternoon.

It's a lovely day here very sunny already.

Not too long to wait now, have your lunch and try and relax a little bit x

HMThai profile image
HMThai

Good morning from Thailand and monsoons beginning..... hope you are feeling a little more comfortable and coping better, sending good wishes from the other side of the world, never feel alone,we are all here... Enjoy English summer!❤️🤗🤗..

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toHMThai

Hello. Thank you for your message. It’s lovely and sunny here today. I’m ok ..hope you are too. 😊

Redshoes15 profile image
Redshoes15

Hi Charliecat, wishing you all the best for your appointment and hoping it’s not as bad as you feared. I think we all get nervous about what we are going to be told - and being anxious doesn’t help your eye pressures so you just have to try and relax. Easier said than done I know. Hope it helps a bit to know that we are all thinking of you and keeping fingers tightly crossed! Xx

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply toRedshoes15

Thank you…I’m really nervous..trying not to be. Waiting for hospital transport for appointment at 3.10 ..thanks for thinking of me xx

in reply toCharliecat123

A wee last good luck and I will be thinking of you x

Morning Charliecat, I hope you are ok after your appointment yesterday? Just to let you know I am thinking of you . X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

He Witchie346. Thanks for keeping in touch. Appointment was good and bad. Pressures up slightly so probably will need to have a needling right eye..have already had that in left eye…I saw a different doctor and he just seemed interested in my cornea..he said it is getting better and to keep up with the drops. I had a field test ☹️ But he didn’t want to discuss it with me as he said the other consultant will decide what to do about that and the pressures and he didn’t want to interfere. So will have to wait for him to come back. Anyway have my hip op on Monday so won’t be going to eye clinic for a while..I told him that and he said it’s fine and not to worry 🤷‍♀️ Hope he’s right! He’s going to write to the other doctor and let him know about tests and results and then it’s up to him to make an appointment for me…we’ll see…otherwise I’ll be ringing the hospital!I hope you are ok. How’s your little doggie? I hope the sun has been shining there. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Glad to hear from you as I was worrying how your appointment had gone.Firstly that's positive that your cornea is improving and that the drops are doing their job. Your field test although you were dreading it at least that's it over with for now. It's frustrating that he wouldn't discuss the results with you and that you have to wait on the other consultant to make the decision about your pressures but I hope that's shows there's nothing requiring urgent treatment.

Did the needling work okay when you had it carried on your left eye?

I'm sure he wouldn't have said it's fine and not to worry if that wasn't the case. You will just be relieved that's your eye appointment over, it must have been a long tiring day for you. Definitely do chase it up if you don't hear anything from hospital.

This time next week your hip operation will have been carried out and it will be the start of your recovery. Have you got care organised for after the op and how many days will you be in hospital ?

Lu and I are both good, she's snoozing in her bed at the moment as we aren't long in from her evening walk..We met a lovely Parsons Jack Russell pup called Bert earlier on, he was so cute and they took an instant liking to each other and were having lots of fun playing on the grass.

It's been lovely and sunny here today and luckily we still had a nice breeze so it wasn't too hot for walking. The rain is on now which is fine as it means I don't have to water the garden.

Take care x

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, I hope you are doing okay as I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Have you been able to get out in your garden at all? We've had rain here all day but it's still been warm so I've been out walking anyway.I actually went along to a wishing tree yesterday it's about 2 miles out of the village along a beach. It's really old and gnarled and it has shells strung up all around it. There's an opening in the middle of it where you leave offerings, so I made a wish for you. It's lovely and peaceful along there and it's one of my favourite places to go.

Thinking of you. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thank you so much Witchie346 for being so kind and thinking of me. I’m struggling a bit at the moment. I have to self isolate from tomorrow before my hip surgery on Monday. I’m feeling sad and alone but I know I must plod on. I really appreciate your help and I appreciate you making a wish for me. That is so kind and thoughtful xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I wasn't sure if you were having to self isolate as the rules seem to change all the time. I'm sorry you are feeling so sad at the moment, it's a horrible time for you. I really do hope this operation will make a huge difference to you and you will be able to go for walks again. X

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat,you were in my thoughts so I wondered how you have been coping with your self isolation ?I wanted to wish you good luck for your op tomorrow and let you know I would be thinking of you.Poor Lu was stung on her paw by a bee yesterday, she was very distraught but a few treats helped.

It's very hot here today so I have Lu's doggy sun lounger and canopy set up in garden, she lies there on it quite happily.

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thank you for thinking of me. I’m ok…my sister has been here to take my cat to the cattery…probably not allowed really but she wasn’t here long ..and someone has to take him. Poor Lu getting stung..it’s nasty to get a sting and quite a shock aswell. Glad she is ok. I haven’t thought much about my op…just want to get it over and done with now. It’s a good hospital with a very good reputation so I’ll just put my trust in them. Think I’ll probably be there until about Thursday..all being well. I will message you to let you know how things are. Thanks for continuing to message me xx

in reply toCharliecat123

That's good your sister was able to take your wee cat to the cattery for you. Once your operation date is so close you do just want it over and done with. How amazing it will be for you to get around with no pain, go for walks and work in your garden. That's great the hospital has a good reputation and hopefully your recovery will go well.

Yes definitely let me know how operation has gone and how you are feeling.

Tons of luck for tomorrow x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks Witchie346. The day has come. I’m feeling ok..so far! Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, I hope your hip op went well and that you are out of hospital now. Just to let you know I have been thinking of you all week. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346.thank you for message. I’m still in hospital. Maybe go home on Tuesday.in quite a bit of pain so I’m on strong medication..morphine based. Tired all the time but plodding on…on my crutches. Hope you are okxx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat sorry to hear you are still in lots of pain. No wonder you are tired if you are so sore. Fingers crossed you do get out soon but hospital is obviously best place for you at the moment. I'm good but was just getting concerned as you thought initially you might be out this week.

Take care and I'll hear from you more once you are home . Big hugs x

Big hugs Charliecat,you've got this 💖 x

callie77 profile image
callie77

Hi Charliecat I have just joined this special club and am reading all the posts. When I read yours it reminded me of myself feeling depressed and not sleeping. Worrying all the time. I do have a husband but don't want to keep burdening him with my complaints. I wish we could have a coffee and chat together.It's so much easier talking with someone whose in the same boat.

I hope you're ok today. For me it's a roller coaster. Virtual hugs

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply tocallie77

Hi callie77. Thanks for your message. I’m still in hospital after having hip replacement surgery. In quite a bit of pain. Will message more when I get home. Xx

callie77 profile image
callie77

Oh painfully!! Hope your feeling better soon. Take care x

Hi Charliecat, I hope you are ok and that your hip is starting to heal and the pain easing off. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thanks for messaging. I’m at home..doing ok..not much pain really but can’t do much..on crutches and not very mobile. My son and his wife and baby are here until tomorrow. My ex husband..the boys dad has suddenly become seriously ill and is in hospital…they don’t know what’s wrong with him. So it’s more stress!! You just sometimes wonder what else can go wrong. The boys are devastated and so I am very worried about them all. Hope things are ok with you. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I'm glad you are at home and that you have one of your son's with you. Hopefully your mobility will improve as the weeks go on. It's good you aren't in much pain.Yes there always seems to be something and you have enough to deal with without having the extra worry but you are always a mum no matter how old or children get.

Yes I'm fine I had my son here for a week, he went home on Saturday. I'm just about to go out with Lu.

Take care x

Hi Charliecat how's things with you now ? Do you have your wee cat back home with you ? I hope you have someone to help you while you recover ? It's very very hot here and poor Lu isn't enjoying it at all. She's been inside lying on the wooden dining room floor all afternoon. I was sitting outside reading for a couple of hours. I will wait till it cools down and we'll go for a walk on the beach and she can find crabs to eat !!!

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thank you for your messages. I am ok…just very very tired so sleeping a lot!! My little cat is back home with me. He has learnt to use the new cat flap which I had put in just before I went into hospital so that helps a lot. My son stayed until Tuesday evening and has now gone back so I’ve been on my own since then…it’s ok…I’m managing. My son said he would come back tonight after work but I’ve told him not to as it’s a long way…he’s exhausted and stressed with his dad poorly in hospital so I want him to have some time to rest and just be with his wife and baby. I hope everything is ok with you. It’s hot here too. Enjoy your walk on the beach with your little dog. Sometimes simple things are the best!! Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Your body has undergone a lot so sleep is the best thing for you just now and hopefully you will recover and be mobile again in the not too distant future. Your wee cat will be very happy to be home with you,what a clever wee boy he is. It was very kind of your son to say he would be over tonight but I know you are worried about him and yes he probably does need time just to relax with his wife and baby. He will be worried about you too I'm sure. I know you are managing but it obviously is still a struggle for you at the moment.

Do they know what has caused your ex husband's illness yet ?

All is fine here, I've got my eye appointment on Tuesday so we are going to Glasgow for a couple of days and going out for lunch etc and trying to turn it into a pleasant experience. My partner has a couple of days off so it's worked out well.

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’ve just heard that my son is about an hour away from home…so he didn’t listen to me!! We don’t yet know what is wrong with his dad…he’s still not much better..in hospital. It’s really quite a worry..but it’s a waiting game.Good luck on Tuesday…it’s always an anxious time when eye appointments come around…I’m sure you’ll be fine. I’ll keep my fingers crossed 🤞..it’s good that you can make it into a mini break too. How far do you live from Glasgow? Xx

Oh that's lovely your son is coming to see you regardless,he must be concerned. I know you say you are managing but having him there is definitely better for you.Have you been told how long you are likely to be on crutches ?

Thank you,yes I'm hoping for the best on Tuesday but if it's not what I want to hear I'll deal with it then.

I live 60 miles from Glasgow but we also have a flat there that's only 10 minutes walk from the hospital .

Enjoy your time with your son. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’m thinking about you today and keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well at your appointment. It’s so hot here..my son is still with me at the moment. His dad is not at all well…doctors have found a tumour on his lung which is devastating. He is a smoker so we are very worried. I hope all is well with you and you are not too nervous about today. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh thank you Charliecat for thinking about me. I am feeling bit anxious but trying not to think about it. It's very hot in Glasgow and we ended up spending hours last night in a nearby park with Lu as it was cooler there in the shade. That's very sad about your son's dad, it is awful news for everyone. I'm glad your son is still with you although not in the best of circumstances.

Is your mobility improving at all ?

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks Witchie346. I’m doing ok but think I now have one leg longer that the other…confirmed by physiotherapist! It could only happen to me!! Let me know how your appointment goes today. I’m having a down day today..everything is too much atm. Trying not to show it to my son as he is worrying about his dad. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh my goodness I have never heard of that, will that affect your recovery. Definitely only you. Between your eyes,hip and worry about your son it must be difficult to try and put a happy face on. Unfortunately bad things never come singly which makes coping much more difficult. We do always try to protect our children to our own detriment at times. I will let you know how I get on. X

Hi Charliecat I hope you are feeling a bit better than earlier.No surprises at appointment pretty much what I was expecting. I am to have a trab in left eye too as pressure was 21 and he's taking no chances with me. Op should be within next couple of months, I'm not looking forward to it but I know what to expect now. It's recovery I struggle with as I hate being so inactive but it's not forever. My right eye pressure is 16 and he's leaving it for moment as there's no more damage, I was dreading needling, so that's a bonus. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I have had 2 trabs..you will be fine. I’ve also had a needling in one eye and expect to have one in the other eye soon. I have an appointment on 3rd August and I think that’s the next step as pressure up to 21 last time. Is your consultant a glaucoma specialist…mine is just a general ophthalmologist but he’s got a good reputation. It’s just never ending hospital appointments at the moment. My son has gone to see his dad so will have an update when he comes home. His wife is lovely and very supportive for which I am very thankful. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

You are having more than your fair share of hospital appointments at moment unfortunately. Did needling work for you the last time you had it done ? My consultant is a glaucoma specialist who is very highly quoted and also has a lovely manner, he always explains everything and asks if I have any questions and then takes time to answer them thoroughly.

That's great your son has such a supportive wife it makes all the difference. X

Wales99 profile image
Wales99 in reply to

Hey Witchie346 how are you doing? Did you have your appointment yesterday?

in reply toWales99

Hi Wales yes I did and my right trab eye was 16 which consultant is ok with at moment as field test etc was fine. Left eye was 21 and he's not happy with that at all so another trab within the next couple of months. I'm okay with that as I knew myself it was coming and I'm glad he's so proactive .I would rather not need op and not have glaucoma but as that's an impossibility I just need to deal with it. I will still be terrified on the lead up to the op mind you.😱We've been up in Glasgow for a few days and it was unbelievably hot,it was 27 degrees in the flat!!!! We were going to stay there for a few more days but came back home last night to be by the sea again and get some air.

How's things with you ? Hope it's not so sunny in Kent ? 🙄 X

Wales99 profile image
Wales99 in reply to

Oh well that’s good news. Not that you have to have another Trab but like you say, you knew it was coming and at least you know what to expect. It’s been incredibly hot here in Kent. I’m really not a fan of the heat as you know but they have said it should start to cool down after tomorrow. Thank goodness. It is not helping my head. Still getting constant migraines. I think I will have to bite the bullet and take the propranolol my consultant said it was OK but Trish said I should double check with him as you have to be careful with Glaucoma & propranolol but I don’t know why. Hey-ho. 😊.

in reply toWales99

That's not good I had hoped your migraines would have started to lessen by now, I assume the propranolol may have some sort of effect on eye pressure !!!!No this sort of heat is the last thing you need with your head. When is your next appointment ?I'm just back from beach with Lu,the tide was way out so we actually had sand and she loves running in it . Our heat is to stay till next Mon/Tues 😱. X

Wales99 profile image
Wales99 in reply to

Well yes from what I’ve read, and it’s only google, it says that propranolol can mask the signs of Glaucoma which I think is what happened when I was on it before and that’s why specsavers missed it. My consultant said it wouldn’t have any effect on my eye but I’m more worried about the non-Glaucoma eye - I don’t want the same thing to happen in my left eye. I see him again next Wednesday. I was hoping to muddle through before I saw him again as they were on & off but they have been constant for the last 6 days. I think I will have to start taking them again and then see what he says when I see him. I’m worried that he won’t get a true picture of my eye (the one that’s been operated on) because they would mask it though. It’s so difficult to know what to do for the best.

in reply toWales99

That is a difficult one, it's a tough decision what to do for the best. Migraines are just horrible things to put up with and as they are constant now I definitely couldn't keep going without taking medication.That's so awful that the propranolol is the probable reason your glaucoma was overlooked. I assume when you get field tests they do both your eyes and although hopefully you never develop glaucoma in your good eye it wouldn't go unnoticed this time.

Your consultant does go on what your pressure is to measure success of trab but I'm sure he would take the meds and their effects into account and make allowances for that. He also goes by how the bleb looks and must have other criteria too.

Maybe if weather breaks your migraines won't be as frequent and you could last out. Big hugs as I know how bad migraines are x

Wales99 profile image
Wales99 in reply to

Thanks. I am taking pain meds for them - Zolmatriptan. I couldn’t function otherwise but it’s not good to take that long term- in fact my GP told me not to! Yes you are right about what you said about the consultant- you have made me feel reassured so thank you. It is only a week til I see him as well so if he reconsiders me being on them then hopefully they won’t have had much affect on things. Yes he always checks both eyes & both eyes are field tested. As you say, they are aware of it now & tests at the hospital are more thorough & precise than opticians. My field tests are very good apparently- my vision loss is more central - well not even that really- it’s hard to explain- it’s weird. Enjoy your walks by the beach - I do envy you! 😊 xx

in reply toWales99

I'm glad I helped a bit, it's not a good position to be in and thank goodness you don't have any longer than a week to wait till your appointment. Your consultant is obviously knowledgeable and hopefully a week on them won't have much affect at all if he does change his mind. You will be glad to get your appointment over and done with. It's positive your field tests are good and with luck will stay that way. I'm just going to take Lu down to the beach for her last walk now. X

Wales99 profile image
Wales99 in reply to

Yes it’s just nice to be able to talk to people who understand. Enjoy your walk - I will come with you in my mind! 😊 xx

in reply toWales99

I agree it is good to talk to people who understand as no matter how well meaning others are they really don't get it.Well I hope you enjoyed your virtual walk with Lu and I 😊🐕 x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. The needling in my one eye has brought the pressure down to 10 but the other eye is now 21 which is too high. I tried tiopex drops but no change so I’m expecting consultant to book me for another needling…next appointment is 3rd August. Hope you’re ok. My son goes back tomorrow 😢 xx

in reply toCharliecat123

It's good that needling worked well for you last time so hopefully you would have a positive result again. I know the thought of yet another procedure is daunting and we could all happily do without any more. At least it's not too long to wait till your next appointment and I hope you will be more mobile by then.That's a shame your son's going home tomorrow as you do get used to having them there . I'm sure he will miss you.

I'm fine I've done very little today as it's been so hot and mostly just stayed on the beach when walking Lu and I sat in the sun and read for a wee while .

How are you feeling about everything ? X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Hope you are ok and enjoying your walks on the beach. You are so lucky to live by the sea. What breed is your little dog Lu? They are such good company aren’t they. My son and family have gone home now. I’m feeling a bit emotional today but it will pass. At least it’s a bit cooler here…the heat was starting to get to me a bit! What’s it like up north..any rain yet? I’m just resting and watching This Morning on tv. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I was actually just thinking about you Charliecat. You will be feeling emotional as you've had company for the last wee while and that would have made a big difference to you. You are allowed to feel a wee bit sad about it.The heat has been so intense and certainly up here we aren't used to it. It's overcast today,still warm but much more pleasant to be out and about in. I've just been along to local pharmacy to pick up my eye drops and there was a wee breeze so Lu enjoyed her walk today. She is a cockapoo,a lovely brown and white woolly girl,who is twice the size of every other cockapoo in the village!!!! She is my constant companion, I pretty much take her everywhere and she's so good in restaurants etc.

Do you feel you are gaining any more mobility yet ?

I've finished lunch so I'm going to do a quick bit of housework and then I will take Lu down the beach. I love living by the sea and it's so much fresher than living in the city.

I hope you feel a wee bit better tomorrow. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Oh that sounds lovely…enjoy your walk on the beach with Lu..you are very lucky to live by the sea. I’m just keeping out of the sun in the house. I woke up this morning with a stiff neck…must have slept awkwardly. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping on my back which is what you have to do after hip surgery. Do you sleep raised up because of glaucoma…I have done for a long time but don’t really know if it makes any difference. Do you think you will get any rain this weekend…it was supposed to rain here but now it’s looking like we will miss it…I’m longing for some rain!!

My garden is getting overgrown and the brambles are starting to appear….it’s annoying not being able to do anything outside…that’s what I like to do if I’m a bit down..being outside seems to help. I’m envious of your walks on the beach…wish I could come too!! 😂 xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I agree I think being outside definitely helps when you are feeling down . We had a lovely walk along the beach,stopped and got pistachio and rum and raisin ice cream and walked back through the fields. Lu would love your company I'm sure and if you had doggy treats she would be your friend for life. 🐕Oh a stiff neck is very unpleasant, I try to sleep on my back but it always go back to sleeping on my side, before I was diagnosed with glaucoma I slept on my stomach with my face squashed into the pillow !!! I have a memory foam pillow and I just make sure my head is always above my heart.

I've been deadheading flowers since I got back from my walk. I have a courtyard garden to the front and side of my cottage so all my flowers are in pots ,I don't need to worry about pesky brambles. My partner planted wild flowers in tubs for me and they've been really successful . It's not to rain here until Tues but they usually get the weather wrong 😃. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I had an early morning alarm call this morning…my naughty little cat outside my bedroom door at about 5.30. I had to get up and let him out and then couldn’t get back to sleep! It seems a bit cooler so far this morning..hope it stays that way. I’m not sure what I’m going to do today…one day is the same as another atm. I used to see a lot of my friend who lives across the road but sadly her husband is very poorly and she is looking after him at home. I spoke to her yesterday and she said that he’s now terminally ill which is so so sad. There seems to be so many people suffering atm. I hope you and Lu are ok …enjoy your walks on the beach..it sounds lovely living by the sea. Xx

That's very sad about your friend's husband, it certainly can't be easy for her.Lu sometimes wants out in the middle of the night just to sit and look at the moon !!!! Luckily I do usually get back to sleep.

It's been cool here in the mornings but then gets very warm in the afternoon. We are having a take away from the deli tonight for dinner so no cooking for me 😃. X

Hi Charliecat just wondering how you are ?Are you able to get around any easier or are you still on crutches.?

I had a lovely walk with Lu today along to the wishing tree, it was the first day this week we've had a long walk in the afternoon as it's been too hot every other day.

It's my son's birthday on Saturday so we're going to stay for the weekend. He moved into his new flat in December but with lockdowns etc this will be the first time we've stayed. He has lots of plans for his birthday weekend and has now taken a whole week of work 😄.

Take care and thinking of you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’m ok thanks..still on crutches for at least another 2 weeks..then see consultant and have more X-rays. My son and family are back here again. His dad is very unwell so he’s come back up from Cardiff. Nice that the weather is cooling down a bit. It was far too hot for me.hope you have a nice time with your son for his birthday.

Enjoy your walks with Lu. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Good to hear from you Charliecat and I do hope you are off your crutches in a couple of weeks and that your x ray shows positive results. It will be so good when you are mobile again and can get out and about .It's lovely you aren't on your own it's just not in the best of circumstances unfortunately.

Take care x

Hi Charliecat, just to wish luck at your eye clinic appointment today and hope it all goes well.Do you still have your son and his family with you ?

I'm in Glasgow at moment for a couple of days after being at my son's.

Let me know how you get on. X

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi. Thank you so much for your messages. The clinic appointment was long and frustrating. I was supposed to see the consultant but yet again he gave my notes to a less experienced doctor who was obviously training. I had to insist on seeing the consultant and he did eventually agree to see me! He’s very off hand and negative which I don’t need. I am now going to be seen by another consultant who is a trained glaucoma specialist so hopefully will be better in future..who knows but I hope so. My ex husband is very poorly. He has lung cancer which is aggressive and inoperable. My son is coming back from Cardiff tomorrow. He’s been back and fore 4 times now. He wants to be here so he’s near to his dad and can visit him. The outlook is not very good. With treatment he may live 6 months…without about 3. It’s a nightmare. A couple of months ago he appeared to be reasonably ok but he must have been hiding his symptoms. My youngest son is taking it badly and can’t face going to see him.

Everything is so awful at the moment. My friends husband passed away a few days ago. His funeral is next Thursday. I can’t go as I have a check up after my hip replacement. I have tried to change it but it’s not possible. I feel bad that I can’t be there for her.

It’s a really bad time and we are all struggling. I appreciate your messages a lot. X

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat you are certainly having a time of it just now. What a carry on at the hospital, I'm glad you did stand your ground and did eventually see the consultant although he doesn't sound very pleasant. Did he discuss your treatment at all or will it be glaucoma specialist who will decide what is happening with you? At least the consultant you will be seeing from now on will be an actual glaucoma specialist and hopefully that will make all the difference. You just need someone who will listen and explain everything to you and give reassurance. Not too big an ask i don't think.I'm sorry to hear about your friend's husband, how very sad. I know you want to be there for her at the funeral but I'm sure she will understand you need to go for your check up. Once you regain your mobility you will be able to be there for her I'm sure.

You will all be struggling as there is just so much going on at the moment, you must be so worried about your sons. Thank goodness your eldest son has you to stay with when he's travelling back and forth to see his dad. I hope your youngest son does manage to see his dad, although I can understand why he can't face it.

Thinking of you. Take care and look after yourself. X

in reply toCharliecat123

Hi Charliecat, just checking in on you as I know you have your hip check up tomorrow. I'm hoping it's a good appointment and your mobility improves.I know you are worried about your friend too and she's got a horrible day ahead of her tomorrow.

I'm just getting organised to take Lu to the vets, she has her booster appointment so will be a miserable girl in a wee while. I'm chopping up carrots and cucumber as a treat to cheer her up and a few doggy biscuits.

Thinking of you x

Hi Charliecat, I know things aren't great with you just now but just wanted you to know I'm still thinking of you.I hope your hip check up went ok and you are feeling a bit better.

Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thanks so much for your messages. I really appreciate them.My hip appointment was ok..ish. The X-ray looked good and the consultant was happy with it. I do have a difference in length of legs now but he said it may settle and be less noticeable in time…I am to see him again in 3 months for a further review and to see if anything needs to be done. I think they just put something in your shoe to balance things up…we’ll see.

My ex husband is still in hospital and has decided against having chemotherapy…we think it’s the right decision as he cannot be cured..so it would just be a case of prolonging his life by a few months to be spent in a hospital or nursing home. He doesn’t want that. It’s hard for the boys and I’m trying to help but there’s not much I can do.

I had a letter from eye clinic today…a copy of a referral to the glaucoma specialist. Hopefully that will be better and I’m hoping it won’t be long wait to see him but who knows! My previous consultant got some of my treatment details wrong in the letter!! Doesn’t give you much confidence does it?

I hope everything is ok with you. The weather has gone downhill here…feels like the end of summer is fast approaching! How’s your little dog after his injection?

My son has gone home for the weekend and is coming back on Tuesday night. Xx

Hi Charliecat, that's great your consultant was pleased with your x- ray but not so good about difference in leg lengths. Did he give any explanation for that at all ? Fingers crossed it does settle . Are you able to get around without crutches now? At least your previous consultant did one good thing in referring you to see a glaucoma specialist . With luck your wait won't be too long and hopefully the new consultant will be so much better.

Your ex husband made a brave decision but it will all be so difficult for your boys.

I'm good thank you, my partner has the weekend off so we've had a lovely day walking with Lu and then a meal from our local deli.

Lu was not very happy at the vets but soon recovered. One of my friends has just got a little rescue dog,so Lupin has a new wee friend and had a puppy play date yesterday.

Yes I think summer is definitely coming to an end.

Take care x

Morning Charliecat, how's things with you now ? I know you have your son with you not in the best of circumstances though. Have you managed to get out into your garden at all ? We are having a mini heatwave up here just now,so it's early morning and evening walks just now for Lu ,with a run on the beach where it's cooler in the afternoons. I'm back to wearing summer dresses which is nice better than wellies and raincoat !!! 😂

Take care and you are still in my thoughts x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks Witchie346 ..to be honest I’m struggling at the moment..very depressed,tired. I will message more later. Thank you for keeping in touch. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat you've just had too much to cope with all at the one time. I know everything probably feels pretty grim for you at moment but I'm here for you.Big hugs x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Xxxx

Hi Charliecat, you just popped into my head so I thought I would send you a wee message and see how you are doing . Is your with you at the moment or home with his family ? I'm going up to see my son this weekend and stay the night, It's always lovely to spend time with him.

I hope you are doing a wee bit better x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thank you for thinking of me and messaging. I’m not good at the moment..just trying to keep going. The boys are struggling…their dad still in hospital and now they are trying to send him home…where he is on his own without a care package or anything. They are fighting to keep him there but it’s a losing battle I fear. My eyes are dry and blurry…still waiting for appointment with glaucoma specialist..it takes so long. I could phone I know but I’m weary of it all at the moment.

My son and daughter-in-law are still here with me…and their little baby.

Hope you are ok. Enjoy the time with your son. What’s the weather like there? It’s gone quite cool here…summer gone? Don’t like winter much. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I'm sorry to hear things still aren't good for you, I really do hope things improve for you soon and that you can feel more yourself.I can understand that you don't have the fight left in you at the moment to phone hospital,sometimes it's all just a bit too much. Fingers crossed you do get an appointment soon. Are you taking any lubricating drops for your dry eyes ?That's so wrong the way your sons father is being treated, there's no way it's acceptable with his health, he definitely needs carers to assist him.

We have got gorgeous weather here,it's to last until next week so I'm making the most of it pottering around in garden.

Take care x

Hi Charliecat,how are your eyes feeling now? Not so dry and blurry I hope 🤞.Have your boys managed to organise any care for their dad yet prior to him leaving hospital, or is he still in hospital at the moment ?

We've have lots of rain here today but it's still warm so it's raincoat and wellies but with shorts and a t shirt underneath 🙄. We were meant to have thunder and lightning but luckily that never happened.

Have you more mobility now with your hip or are you still not s le to get out and about ? Lu and I have had a lovely walk this afternoon and she had a wee play with one of her friend's,he's a cheeky wee border terrier who tries to steal dog treats out of my pocket.

Thinking of you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. I’m ok.ish! Have good days and bad days. My ex husband is out of hospital now and the boys are visiting as much as they can…also his sister goes in. I feel a bit out of the loop really as I’m not really involved. It’s so sad. I don’t think anyone really understands how I feel…we were married for 24 years and he’s my children’s father…but we are divorced! My eyes are ok..some days better than others. Still waiting for an appointment with new consultant who is a glaucoma specialist….hope it’s not too long!

Feel quite lonely most of the time. I can’t drive at the moment …don’t know if that will change in the future..who knows. Not driving makes you feel very isolated…can’t go anywhere unless someone takes you. It’s actually a battle fighting depression but I have to keep plodding on. I give myself a good talking too and just keep going!!😂

I hope you are ok and happy. It’s lovely you have your little doggie….certainly gets you out of the house walking.

I feel like I’m always moaning…sorry. I appreciate your messages and keeping in touch.

It’s raining here now…has the summer gone? Hope the Covid doesn’t get too bad over the winter…are there many cases there? Maybe we will have to have a booster?

I was going to go out in garden but too wet now. Charlie cat is sitting on my knee!

Hope you have a nice day. You are so lucky to live by the sea. Xx

Oh Charliecat sending you a big hug as you sound like you need one. You just need someone to listen to you,I'm sure your feelings are complicated as you were married a long time and share your boys.Waiting for an appointment is never good but when it's something as serious as your eyes it's worse. Fingers crossed you do get an appointment soon.

It is a shame you can't get out and about at moment but at some point hopefully you will be able to drive again and get your independence back.

Depression is a horrible illness and you aren't moaning you are just doing your best.

As I live in such a small rural village we have mostly been very lucky with how few covid cases we've had. In the actual village apart from the wearing of masks life has pretty much gone on as normal. I hope as well it doesn't get worse over the winter but our cases in Scotland are through the roof at the moment anyway.

It's dry here today and I've just been out with Lu on the beach,we were there for ages as the tide was so far it there was loads of sand and sand means crabs !!! Lu can't resist munching on a crab, so disgusting 🙄.

I'm going along to my friends for another puppy play date as she's trying so hard to socialise her new rescue dog and Lu and her play well together.

I'm sure Charlie cat is very happy sitting on your knee 😺.

Hugs to you,take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel because it seems like I’m complaining and focusing on myself when my ex husband is so ill and the boys are there for him. I feel totally out of the loop and so sad and lonely…but I’m not allowed to feel like that and I feel guilty because I do…if that makes sense. It’s so hard and I feel like I’m sinking into a black hole and no one has even noticed. Thank you for taking the time to keep in touch. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

You are allowed to have feelings too and you have had your own health issues to contend with. I'm sorry you feel so sad and lonely,no one should feel that way. I'm sure your boys wouldn't want you feeling like this. I'm glad to keep in touch with you, honestly just message me anytime x

Hi Charliecat, I just thought I would see how you were doing. I hope you have been able to get out into the garden and your weather is better than ours today. We seem to have one nice day followed by one where I need wellies and a raincoat . Lu hates wearing a coat but with her little curly poodle coat if I don't put her in one she takes hours to dry.I hope you have had some company this week.

I'm meeting my son and his ex girlfriend ( now best friend) tomorrow for lunch and a walk in the park. I'm hoping it will stay dry and not windy as I will using the ferry as it takes 10 minutes whereas by road it would take over an hour.

Lu will be coming obviously,she is so good on ferry and loves going out for lunch.

Take care Charliecat x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi. Thanks for messaging me. Hope you had a nice time with your son and you had a nice walk in park with Lu. I have eye clinic tomorrow…seeing new consultant. He is a young glaucoma specialist. I’m so nervous…hate going..and all the tests. Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

I know the thought of an eye appointment is awful, I hate going too but it's necessary unfortunately as are all the tests . At least this time you are seeing an actual glaucoma specialist,so hopefully he will be understanding and explain everything properly to you and just have some empathy. This time tomorrow it will be over and done with and you can breathe a big sigh of relief. I hope the hospital isn't too far for you to travel to. Let me know how you get on. I'm always so tired after an eye appointment as I get so stressed.I went for an extra long walk with Lu today on the high road above the village,the views of the loch are incredible. We cut down through a field to the shore and popped in to see my friend and her wee rescue dog, Lu had a great time playing and my friend had even made her doggy biscuits 😁. Lu is now crashed out in dining room under the table 🐕.

It was great seeing my son at the weekend and we had lovely weather which made it even better.

Good luck tomorrow. I will be thinking of you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Feeling really anxious this morning…appointment not until 3.40 😞Hope you are ok today xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat have a big hug. Morning appointments are so much easier, it's difficult having all that time to worry when it's not till the afternoon. The positive is you are finally seeing a Glaucoma Specialist which is what you need. I really do hope he is understanding and puts you at ease. Lu sends you kisses 🐾. I know it's impossible to try and calm down before an eye appointment but you really do this appointment. You really are in my thoughts .

It's a horrible wild morning here I'm just about to put on wellies and take Lu out.

Huge hugs x

Hi Charliecat just wondering how you are and how your hospital appointment went? I hope your new Glaucoma Specialist was pleasant and answered any questions you had.I've had a busy couple of weeks as my youngest brother moved house and was having his daughters 18 th celebration the week after,so we all had to muck in and help. Her birthday was last Saturday and it's the first time we've all been together since the pandemic started ,so it was lovely,in normal times we would get together every 6 weeks or so .

We then had an unexpected few days away as my friend had a cancellation at her holiday cottage and we went instead . The weather wasn't the best but it was just good to get away.

How's is your hip,are you able to get out and about yet?

The weather here is horrible and I'm so fed up with being soaked buy Lu needs out regardless of the weather.

I hope you are well Charliecat. Thinking of you x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Hi Witchie346. Thank you so much for your messages. I’m struggling really. I’m worried about my eyes and also my ex husband..my boys dad is getting worse which is really distressing..he’s got terminal lung cancer and lives on his own so the boys are trying to be there as much as they can. I’m really low but have to put on a brave face and just plod on. My middle son and his wife and baby are staying here at the moment to be near his dad. It’s lovely but also a strain because of the way I’m feeling.I hope you are ok. It’s lovely that you have your little dog to take out on the beach…even if the weather is not great.

Sorry to be so miserable all the time…I’m trying..but it’s so hard. Have no one to talk to about it all! Xx

in reply toCharliecat123

Oh Charliecat I'm sorry to hear things aren't improving for you at all. It must be very difficult trying to pretend you are ok when you are anything but. Is there any way you could even talk to your daughter in law and tell her how much you are struggling? I'm sure her and your son would never want you to be feeling this way You have been trying to do it alone for quite some time now and it's time you had someone to listen to you.Big hugs Charliecat x

Cyclist7 profile image
Cyclist7

Hi, the hospital will have a eye nurse (ECLO) who will talk to you about any options. Mine is coming in with me for my doctors appt as I am getting rushed and the doctors don’t want to explain Cyclist7

Morning Charliecat,I hope you have your son back with you,although I know it's not in the best of circumstances. My friend has just been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer and is just waiting to hear how far it has spread. I feel s bit useless as there's nothing I can really do but listen and try to support him. It's very sad. Life isn't very fair at time. I've had my son home for a few days,he caught a cold the first day and just lay on the sofa feeling miserable for the next few days. He's a very bad patient 🤧🤒😷.

I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. Take care x

Charliecat123 profile image
Charliecat123 in reply to

Thanks so much. Yes my son is back. He spends most of his free time with his dad . The rest of the time he is working in the bedroom! I’m really proud of him. He is such a support to his dad . His wife has gone back home to America for her sister’s wedding but he’s stayed here to be with his dad while he can. We don’t think he will be here for much longer…it’s so so sad.My eyes are not good. I have glaucoma cataracts and dry eyes…don’t really know which of those three things are causing the problems at the moment. Got another appointment on 18th November. I’m so weary of all this but just have to get on with it. If I start crying I’ll never stop!!!

I hope you are ok. It’s so sad about your friend. Cancer is just horrible. Listening and being there for him is all you can do and don’t underestimate how comforting that is. We all need someone to listen when life gets tough.

It’s wet and windy here. I have a leak in the roof..water dripping in the bedroom. I’ve had someone look at the roof but they can’t find a problem…he’s coming back again today. Every time it rains and the wind is blowing it leaks. Oh well…just another thing 😂

Are you still managing to go out with Lu. I expect you have to come rain or shine. It’s good to get outside in the fresh air though isn’t it.

Thank you for keeping in touch. Sometimes I feel very sad and lonely. Xxx

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