Constant pain and Exhustion

Somedays i wonder how things will carry on. This whole week has been filled if so much stress. Last tuesday saw my physcologist than brought back many things i wanted to forget about. Wed, thurs was vomiting due to stress, anxiety and extreme exhustion. Fri worked but still vomiting due to the above so cause of all the vomiting, all my hard work to build up pain relief was lost. So on fri night slept 10hrs as being awake was too much. The pain on that night was like nothing i had ever felt, every finger than moved was hard and hurt like hell. Woke today which is 4 days later with severe back pain, it wasnt to bad yesterday but trying to move today seems impossable. My left leg doesnt want to do anything else than walk for the past week, so now i am back to being in pain and a leg that wont move, oh and every movement is so much effet i am tired just from walking to the bathroom.

Is there ever an end to this? Or is this what the rest of my life will look like? 

Yesterday i thought about ending my life as seemed the easiest way to stop my 3 months of on and off suffering. I am starting to get flash backs from when i was in hospital and working as a nurse in resthome i seem to see myself lying in the beds being cared for, its wierd. Could i have PTSD???

8 Replies

  • Hi Chompy, there does appear to be some link between FND and prolonged stress or trauma. Can be lots of small things or a major event that has been buried. This is NOT to say that your pain and symptoms are not real, they most definately are.

    The thoughts of opting out are a concern and I would urge you to ask for help from your psychologist or general practitioner.

    Read the Neurosymptoms web site. It is created by a Doctor who is researching and promoting awareness of FND.

    Finally people CAN GET BETTER OR IMPROVE. Somewhere on this site I posted a link to a young girl teacher who was very severely affected but is now back to work. Think it was under Getting Better.

    Chompy good luck and try to keep as active as possible

  • Hi chompy, 

    I am really sorry your having such a difficult time at the moment.  I understand how you feel I have been there it's a uphill battle.  

    Please don't lose hope! I felt the same as you a few weeks ago... Unanswered questions running over and over when and ,if and how? I am going to get better. But with a lot of amazing support from this community and help from physiotherapy team I was able to finely see light at the end of the tunnel. The pain is constantly changing its levels, the worst thing to deal with for me personally is having to use a wheelchair (it sucks ) I definitely believe that with right kind of support you do find a way to deal with it. 

    Would it be possible to get a appointment with your psychologist?  The flash backs you describe sound awful. 

    Please don't feel alone. 

                                 Best wishes. X

  • Spoke to my psychologist today. He said I am starting to get PTSD so am off to see my doc today to get some anti depression meds and anxiety medication. 

    Just the thought of leaving the house to see my doc or any medical practicer makes me vomit and have panic attacks. 

    I have been assigned a key worker who will come to my house when no one is home with me to make sure i am ok and talk to me.

    Thanks so much. It makes things easier knowing i am not the only one going through this, sometimes i feel so alone and that no one understands. My mum isn't finding it easy as i am crying nearly day about nothing. So hoping medication will make it a bit easier.

  • Hi there was really sad to read your post. I know how it is hard and I'm praying for you. Have you tried any vitamin therapy as this has helped me a great deal? I kept falling over a lot and had a pain in my legs badly until I took vitamin D. I also had peripheral neuropathy and that was sorted out by taking a B complex. If you are unsure about this it's good to see a natureopath although I just did lots of prayer and research! There really is hope no matter how hard it seems. I made a little video which might encourage you. Google Rachel Harris FND. Hope you feel better soon, God bless xx

  • Thanks so much. I will have a look at the video. xxx

  • Hi Chompy,

    You are SO not alone, believe me. I dealt with all of this with lots of humour for so long and last year I went on a downward slope. I kept visualising my own suicide. I was just sick to the teeth of it all!!

    My GP suggesting upping my antidepressant (lustral) from 100mgs to 200mgs. It took awhile but the fog eventually cleared. 

    I hope you have good friends in your life. Helpful loved ones also. You're not alone. 

    I've probably said nothing to help you but I want you to know people love and think of you more than you realise in this life. Xxxxx

  • Glad you were able to talk through things! 

    Anti depressants will change your personality slightly but it's just a side effect from it. 

    My honest advice is determination and exploration will help you.

    I cnt say how long this will be, I've been told it's a life condition and most folks end up in wheelchair...

    I started in a wheelchair and then onto zimmerframe and then onto 2 sticks. I'm 29 now and 2 years on from crash I'm making progress but That's down to me doing my bit! 

    I try to do swimming and in this group you'll see further down some advice I've posted etc and will be starting a YouTube channel with advice on FND. 

    Hang in there and try get out and about for fresh air... Even if it's for 20 minutes standing in your garden! :) I've had 3 days of not going out due to mad pain and I've seen how it can affect my mood.

    Stay strong :)

    God bless


  • Hang in there. It will get better. I am in a pretty dark place as I've just been diagnosed, but it has to get better.

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