The best laid plans of mice and men as they say

[SuzyB]

I've been off work sick since 14th january with my back. The GP has now managed to bring the worst of the pain under control with morphine. I take 20mg time release capsules twice a day and top up with oramorph. So although it's not taken away the pain and weakness in total it's enough that I can just manage to function. So I was planning on going back to work but overnight mother nature decided to to dump about 4 inches of snow on our little village now there was no way I was going to risk doing the 45 mile commute in that.

So I emailed them and said I'd work from home (fairly common practice in our company) my boss was not happy.

I can't believe it I've been off a month I'm coming back when not completely fit but if I wait for that then I'd never go back. TBH I'm only working these days as my OH refuses to discuss me giving up work. We are lucky enough that we dont need my salary. But the way it works at the moment is that I pay all of the food and household bills and he puts money into a savings account. So I guess if I quit he'll have to pay all of the bills etc and there would be less in the savings but he does earn double what I do and my job is so stressful I'm sure it makes things worse plus I no longer enjoy it as I find it really tough because of the fibro fog.

Anyway I have gone off on a tangent again.... I was trying to say it seems as though mother nature has decided I need a couple of extra days at home lol

[Hidden]

This sounds all very stressful, does your OH really realise exactly what you have to go through and the stress makes you worse... If you don't need to work because of financial reasons could you not sit down and talk to your OH about you leaving a stressful job that is making all aspects of your life miserable and compromise in maybe finding a non taxing part time job that you could do and then be home making yourself happy... Who knows when your OH sees the change in you without the stress he might like the idea of a happy stay at home wife who has more energy for quality time with him

Good luck

VG x

[Hidden]

you know what they say - Mother knows best - lol!

Enjoy your extra days at home. Going back before you're really fit may not be the best way forward. Is there any flexibility about how many hours / days you work? Even if your OH earns that much more than you, it may seem very threatening to him to think he would be the sole earner. So, maybe a half-way solution would help you both?

take it easy, and don't risk your back going out in slippery conditions.

Kaz

x

[SuzyB]

Cheers guys. I've cut down on hours as much as the company will allow. The most annoying thing is OH won't even discuss it. 12 months ago it was let's see if the amitriptyline works, 6 months ago let's see if the hip improves now its lets see if the back, hip tiredness improves. I think it is going to come to a head soon as I'm beginning to resent him for not even wanting to talk about it.

I am retraining to become a reflexologist which I can do for home and its something I find very relaxing doing. I will qualify in June/July and as I'm on 3 months notice if I hand my notice in next month it would work out brilliantly but he won't even talk about he. He just walks away and goes out knowing I can't follow him. I love him but I am finding the selfishness infuriating. I work in IT at the moment in the financial services so its high stress and high pressure.

[chrissy57]

It sounds like he almost doesn't care about you onnly the amount of money you earn. Also does he totally believe in fibro? Or is he like one of the many who thinks it is all in your head. I would be tempted to just give up the job and think about myself for once and consider my long term health. Is it something you could go back to when and if you get thhe fibro under control? I am sorry if I have said anything that oversteps the mark but I believe strongly in being an equal partner in a relationship and if he won't listen do it anyway

[SuzyB]

lol thanks Chrisssy. trust me ive often thought about it. esp as he travels a lot for his job and expects my support. plus guess who irons all of his shirts and does the food shopping....

[mistymeana]

Sorry you're not getting the support you ned SuzyB.I usually prefer the direct approach but sometimes needs must - have you thought of going back to work and then being far too wiped out to do the shopping and ironing? Thinking that maybe if your OH had to do all the chores he might have a change of heart.Can't think of an emoticon for evil grin with combined wink so please imagine virtual one x

[SuzyB]

Lol imaging emoticon now. He's away next week with work so he won't notice anything. Maybe I'll be too tired for FaceTime conversations that he values highly while away