As if it wasn't scary enough they're now splitting physical and mental health for the purpose of the WCA. So what happens to those of us who suffer both? I don't know how others feel but my experience is that Fibromyalgia is all-encompassing. The DWP/Atos want to make this false distinction between physical and mental health and it's predicted that this will mean more people will lose out on financial support. I have both - my anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia pre-dated my fibromyalgia (at least in terms of formal diagnosis).
I'm Scared re New ESA Changes. - Fibromyalgia Acti...
I'm Scared re New ESA Changes.
Written by
Kirby
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51 Replies
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Your not alone on the scared part Kirby. I am terrified about what it means as I had another ATOS form before christmas and havent heard anything yet. I am in the support group and have been since 2009 and I also get Higher care and mobility for DLA since 2009. I only got these after an ATOS assessment. Now it seems I am going to have this headache again.
These proposed changes r to take affect as off the 28th January 13. Under the radar sneakiness by the government. Another way of mucking up our lives and making things 10 x harder.
Thanks Yorkielover. I hope you manage to keep your benefits. All these reassessments are so stressful for people and at least some Labour backbenchers took it seriously in the debate called by Michael Meacher yesterday.
i was sent a nother form to fill in for yet another medical, and a lady phoned me in early january and said i should be put on a work proggramme,i told her i was waiting to hear about another medical and was told with the new benefit coming in they would not be taking problems i have with anxiety and deppression,and arthritis and the fibro is flaring up ,i am not expecting to keep my benefits,i am worried that i will be homeless and it is making me ill
That's terrible, Sylvia. Where was the lady who phoned you from? They're supposed to take account of your health problems so if you say eg you get panic attacks going out or being around people or that you get too much pain to do a full week then your Job Centre Adviser has to take account of that. If she doesn't then you can appeal. It's only if you refuse without good reason to go on the Work Prog but better reason than your health? I am so sick of what they're doing and trying to sanction disabled people. I've written to my MP loads of time but she's a Tory and just backs the party line. I hope you can get some advice and somebody to support you to stop them getting away with bullying you. Love Kirby xx
My anxiety problems date back to my childhood, and while I've probably had fibro since childhood, the anxiety has a very different cause. I was questioned separately about the anxiety problems at my ESA assessment but until I get the decision letter I don't know what - if anything - has been taken into account.
Thanks Lindy.
I just hope they will take account of both but these new changes that are coming into force end of January mean people are to say whether their problems are mental or physical.
Hi all
I worry too, as I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was about 15. I am now nearly 59. Since being diagnosed with Fibro about 10 years ago ( altho. I have prob. had condition much longer) I still suffer with anxiety and depression and all the hassle of forms and assessments scares the living daylights out of me. I am going to get an advice rep to fill in the forms for me next Tues. and the paperwork has to be returned by the 30th Jan. I am now worrying whether I'll get to the advice centre, as the snow is laying quite thick here and we get snowed in as we live on a very steep hill. I cannot walk in icy conditions as my mobility and balance are already poor so my husband and I stay in when the weather is really bad.
Have any of you watched the Youtube post which Sandra kindly shared with us? It seems that Michael Meacher is on our side at least. I hope he fights on for all of us. I really feel that we are almost being criminalised. We are certainly being marginalised by the Govt and society in general.
I am finding it increasingly hard to try to be positive and optimistic about things. All this worry and uncertainty is really taking a toll on my physical and mental health and I feel quite sick all the time. I can't concentrate on anything much and forget what I am saying and doing as my mind is in such a state. I am very shaky and this morning tipped a cup of tea over myself in bed as my hand was completely numb and then after I got up I picked something up off the floor, my hand/arm when into spasm and jerked and I knocked a full tumbler of water all over paperwork, and other things on the table. It seemed to take for ever to clear up the mess. The papers are on the radiator drying out. If I wasn't on anti depressants I would have burst into tears!
I know this is a very minor thing compared to what a lot of some of you lovely people are going through but at the moment it isn't taking much to knock me off my proverbial perch!
It is disgusting that we are all put under this extreme pressure.
Oh well rant over....just wanted to join you all to say that we are all in this together and there are those of us who have mental health issues as well as Fibro and other physical conditions.
Lots of warm hugs on this bitterly cold day for all of you. We must all try to be strong.
Loving thoughts Saskia XX
Thanks so much for your post Saskia.
I can relate to what you're saying. I was only diagnosed with fibro 3 years ago although like you I reckon I've had it for decades, whereas the anxiety and phobias I've had since childhood. I've not yet had an assessment since being diagnosed with Fibro but I know the letter will come. I've watched my sister and so many friends online go through it. It's like waiting for the executioner! It is awful that at 59 you're being put through this. I'm only a few years younger myself.
Good luck with your rep. Would it be possible to get a taxi there if the weather's bad or even ask if the rep can come to you?
Yes, I watched some of the Michael Meacher debate on BBC Parliament yesterday and he is for us as were many of the backbenchers (mostly Labour) who spoke eloquently and from the heart. Mark Hoban's response was abysmal.
So sorry about your accident with tea and water this morning. It doesn't sound small, I would have been in tears or rage or agitation, lol!
You're right though - we must stay strong and it's knowing that there is so much solidarity and that we're not alone in our struggles that helps enormously. Knowing that you can just post on here or in other groups and get someone who can give advice is always so welcoming.
Bright blessings to you
Kirby XXX
Hi all. I suffer physical and mental problems too. I have Fibro, which probably goes back to my childhood, but at least 35 years, arthritis, high blood pressure (which goes up to quite a dangerous level when Im stressed or over do it, which doesnt take much)) stress,(which makes my asthma worse too) depression which has roots back to my childhood and also because of the constant Fibro problems. So if they are going to treat physical probs as a separate issue to mental probs, do we get a separate medical offered for each? Surely they wouldn't go on one or the other? That would be totally insane. Which I am very close to being now. I cant cope with all these changes every five minutes. I dont get why we have to be reassessed after a while anyway. Fibro and arthritis is INCURABLE, so we're not going to get better any time soon...or probably ever. There's something seriously wrong with all this.
Hi Bumblebee
I agree. I hope they would do separate ones but I don't want twice as much stress either! If they ask me the question I will say I have physical problems (Fibro) and Mental (Anxiety/Phobias) etc although the distinction is ridiculous because anxiety is very physical and fibro can have very mental effects!
I used to have HBP when I was very young. When I was on the pill it pushed it up to dangerous levels so I stopped taking the pill and it gradually came down and I think is more in the normal range now. Also, reduced my sodium intake if I could.
XX
Oh, and forgot to say, Ive got my assessment on Monday (weather permitting!!)This is the 2nd one. Im dreading it as I still havent got reams of paperwork evidence from doctors, consultants or specialists. I just accept that I have all these illnesses and only see my GP when I need to. I never get offered scans or xrays or anything, so I just take my meds and get on with it as best I can. HELLLLLPPPPP !!!
Oh good luck for Monday too! I'm the same, only scant notes here and there and most of it will be from my GP who I don't get to very often but that's part of my anxiety, going to doctor's! xx
Thanks Kirby. I'll post up how it goes, if i get there, with the snow and all. Im not going to risk breaking or hurting myself for them, or risk an accident on the road driving there. Bye for now. BB
Good luck, BB - your health and safety have to come first! XX
Hi bumblebees,
I feel the same as you. All the worry does make you feel as though you are gradually going out of your mind. I almost feel that I am out of my body, too, as I feel so spacey and as though everything is going on around me without me having any control. Like you I only see the GP when absolutely necessary and just take the meds and get on with things as best I can, as there is really nothing that anyone can do. My GP is nice and he does support me but, when I have asked for x rays to get an up to date picture of arthritic joints etc, he says it isn't worth it because ortho. surgeons are only interested in seeing patients whom they can operate on and because Fibro sufferers don't do well with surgery the ortho. Drs would be reluctant to do anything. He isn't being obstructive when he says this and I don't feel I am being fobbed off but I have had a few falls in the last couple of years and I have really hurt my back and knees, all of which are arthritic, and my knees have swollen with the impact of the falls. SOOoooo, like you, I just take the jolly old meds and grin and bear it!
I am sorry to hear that you have high BP and asthma. You certainly don't need any extra stress as both these conditions will worsen with any anxiety.
Oh well, all we can all do is just try to get through all this the best we can and support each other on here.
I shall be thinking of you on Monday and hoping that all goes well if you manage to get there with all the snow. Do you mind me asking why you are having another medical? Are you appealing? Are you able to get any medical evidence from any health professionals?
Do let me know how you get on. I wish you all the best of luck. Try not to worry too much. Easy for me to say....but I know I shall be worrying from now until all this business is over.
Take care and keep warm, bumblebees.
Love and hugs Saskia XX
Hi, thanks for the good wishes for Monday. Its the second time around because...are you sitting comfortably?... I was on Inc Supp as long term sick from 2005, Fibro diagnosed 1996 but had it much longer (I was a lone parent b4 that), then I was automatically changed over to ESA, I think 2010. Had my first medical assessment (WCA) last yr, failed. I appealed, failed. Told to go on jobseekers. Well.....that was such a traumatic experience, the way I was treated. I knew i wasnt supposed to apply for JSA as i was sick and thats against the rules, but i had to eat and pay the bills.Told to go for appointments which were cancelled without telling me, appointments booked upstairs, even tho I told them i couldnt do stairs (no lift !!) so because i wasnt upstairs, they thought i was a no-show, as the person booking me in forgot to tell them i was downstairs. Etc etc. I got so stressed, upset and depressed i was ready to wave bye bye to the world. My daughter pleaded with me to see my GP. so i did. He is great. he signed me off with a sick note, i gave it to jobcentre, they closed my claim. No money from then on. I didnt know what to do, so i just re applied for ESA and surprisingly got it. But it took 7 weeks because of their incompitance and go-slow, dont care attitude, telling me wrong info or instructions. So im on ESA again and have to go thru the whole stupid, frustrating thing again. And if i fail, i'll do the same as i did last time. Im a fighter and I'll fight this till things change for the better for us. THE END..... till Monday!!
Bless you bumblebee,
Thanks for sharing the above. I am so sorry to hear all about the hassle you have had. It must have been very, very traumatic. I admire your tenacity...good for you...don't give up the fight. I think the Govt and Atos are hoping they'll beat us all into submission and, quite honestly, if I hadn't got my husband to help me God knows where I'd be. Even with his support, though, it is a day to day struggle. I don't know how you managed without any support and your benefits just being stopped. No wonder there are so many food banks all over the UK now. Our country used to be held in high esteem for our NHS and our welfare system but not any more. It seems that we have become dog eat dog society. It is very worrying for those of us who are vulnerable and I know there are so many people who are much, much worse off than me in terms of their health and their circumstances and my heart breaks for them. However, that still doesn't take away from the fact that I used to be fit, healthy and capable and I worked full time all my life until the age of 50. Now I am a shadow of my former self in terms of my physical and mental health. I lack confidence and suffer such fatigue that I do very little even on what for me would be a reasonably good day.
The Govt. it seems, are trying to deprive us of what little we are entitled to in the way of benefits, whilst they are all on their fabulous salaries living the high life and, in many cases, fiddling their expenses. The cost of this assessment system must be costing billions to administer...far more than the amount saved in benefits I should have thought.
In the meantime, our health is being jeopardised by the increased worry and stress imposed upon us by this grossly unfair system.
We at least have this wonderful site to share our feelings and worries and to try to support and encourage each other in our fight to maintain some dignity in the face of our individual adversities.
It sounds as though you have a wonderful daughter who is supportive and thank God she encouraged you to see your GP. I have suffered suicidal episodes in my life and I understand just how dreadful you feel when you reach that point. Your daughter must have been so worried about you, bless her. Thank God your GP was good and signed you off. If all this stress gets to me too much I think I shall have to ask my GP to increase the dose of my anti-depressant, although I shall be even less able to function on a higher dose. The dose I am on is OK when things are on an even keel although when combined with painkillers etc I do get a bit knocked out and have to rest a lot.
I am so sorry to have rambled on. Once I start i can't seem to stop!
I shall be thinking of you on Monday. Take care.
Love and hugs Saskia. XX
Hi. I suffer with fatigue a lot. it doesnt take much for me to feel SOOOO tired. I also have to cope with memory problems. So how im expected to work through daily pain, fatigue and dont even remember my own name sometimes, i dont know. As you said about pain killers and anti depressants, it knocks the stuffing out of you. but they expect you to dose yourself up to the eyeballs to get through a days work.
Hi bumblebee,
The fatigue is a bummer isn't it and the meds, altho. they help with the depression and take the edge off the pain a little, they do knock you sideways don't they? I don't know how we can be expected to work in constant pain with brain fog and fatigue, but they seem to expect us to. AND.. where would we work anyway, when so many poor souls are losing their jobs because of companies going bust? The ESA 50 questions seem to have really no relevance to doing a day's work, never mind a week's work. I struggle to get up and get going at all in the morning and it takes me hours to come to, get out of bed eventually, have breakfast so I can take my meds and then have a shower if I am up to it. By the time I have done all that it is getting on for midday and by then I am already exhausted. So to me, whether I can reach into a jacket pocket or press a button on something or lift an empty box hardly seems relevant to being fit for work. Most days I am fit for nothing..lol.. I have to laugh otherwise I'd cry! Usually I can see the funny side of things but, at the moment, I just feel totally overwhelmed with all that is expected of us.
We must all try to keep strong and we must stick together and, when we are having a better day, try to support those who blog on this site who are going through a rough patch or are feeling anxious, low or even suicidal. Having experienced suicidal episodes at various time during my life, myself, my heart goes out to those who are in this dark and lonely place. It really is the loneliest place to be and if I can encourage someone to seek help so that they are not alone then my life won't be in vain. I can do precious little else for people these days.
SOOooo ONWARDS and UPWARDS dear friends!
Loving thoughts are with you, bumblebee, and anyone else who reads this.
Warm comforting hugs Saskia XX
Thank you Saskia, its lovely to know there are still people like you in this dismal world who have a big heart ready to help others any way you can. Perhaps we should call the governments bluff, all go and get jobs and prove to them we arent up to it. Not only will it get up employers noses when we cant make it in or have to rest or go home exhausted, and not go in the next day, we can say "told you so". but that would also mean we have to apply and wait for ages to get our benefits back. Why cant they just accept that its a bad idea. For the small minority of people playing the system, WE are paying a very high price.
Bless you, bumblebee for your kind words They mean a lot as I have very little confidence and most of the time I feel so washed out and useless that I feel I am "neither use nor ornament" as the saying goes! It makes me feel better if I can feel that I have brightened someone's day just a little bit.
I have always worked in an environment where I have cared for others and that is my innate nature. It has taken many years to get the point where I am now where I realise I just cannot look after or "do" for anyone else any more, apart from my OH of course.... but then he looks after me. I don't really do an awful lot for him..poor soul.
Sadly, I have lost friends because of this as, in certain cases, they have had no concern for my health and when I have had to decline an invitation because of health problems they have given me so much grief that I have simply told them that I didn't need their kind of friendship any more. It was very hard to do and very upsetting as I privately hoped they might 'phone and apologise for their rudeness. When they didn't I had to accept that the friendship was over. In retrospect I realise now that it never was much of a friendship in the first place as it was too one sided with me being the giving one all the time.
I fell out with my aunt in the same way which was very hard to do but for my own sanity it had to be done.
I thank God every day for Ian, as he is my carer, my rock and the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, we do have our problems too (lol), but nothing which can't be resolved. We accept that we get on each other's wick sometimes but I usually just go off up to bed, as I haven't got the energy these days to have a row, even though sometimes I might be having a little swear under my breath! We are not Mr and Mrs Perfect by any means and I think those who say that they never have a cross word are either lying or very boring!!!!
I did chuckle at your suggestion of us all taking up jobs which we wouldn't have a hope in hell of carrying out in a reliable way! I think the Govt would have some very irate employers to answer to!
Well I have rambled on yet again. Sorry!
Take care, bumblebee and keep nice and warm.
Loving thoughts are with you and comforting hugs. Saskia XX
Yes, fatigue is a real biggie for me too. XX
That is a terrible experience, BB. Sadly I've heard it so many times from people online. All I can advise is to try and get someone to go with you. Atos and these assessments are under the spotlight. Sadly the government are making things even worse if that were possible. But there are a lot of Campaiging Groups on Facebook where you will get moral support, hear the experience of others and there is even one group set up called 'Don't Go Alone' where people around the country either want someone to go to medicals with them or are offering it.
Yes, it would be illegal to leave you without money but it's still hugely stressful leaving people without money for that long. Take care, stay strong and keep fighting. We WILL overcome! xx
More bad news so many changes I wonder what's in store for me a suicidal wheelchair user im scared to even think of losing esa or disability I'd be lost without it xxhugsxx
• in reply tohunnybee
Please know that we are here for you Hunnybee, we will try to help and support you through all of this. Take one small step at a time, try not to worry too much at this stage.
There is due to be a DWP announcement within the next few days to clarify exactly what the new changes will be and how everyone will be affected regarding the Physical or Mental Descriptors.
If you are feeling low at the moment, please have a word with your GP to possibly review your meds, they may be able to help you keep on top of things a bit better.
You could also give the Samaritans a ring, they are trained to listen and it helps to off load out troubles and worries to someone who won't be judgemental and who is completely impartial. You might feel better talking to someone about how you feel.
Here is their contact info -
Samaritans
08457 90 90 90
jo@samaritans.org
We are here for you and we do understand. (((hug))) xxx
Libs
Hello Hunnybee,
I am so sorry that you are feeling so low. If you are feeling suicidal at the moment can you get an urgent appt. to see your GP? If you are feeling really dreadful over the weekend can you get to A@E? There is always the Samaritans who are available and willing to listen if you need to talk things through.The number should be in your local 'phone book/yellow pages.
You are in very good company joining the ranks of us on this site who are all worried about our benefits. It won't take much to tip me right over the edge again. I wish we were all able to march on the Houses of Parliament but they know that we aren't fit enough...which is what is so galling. We are all between a rock and a hard place as they say. I do sign all the petitions I can, but it would be so good to be able to travel in person so that we could all stand up and be counted so that they know we are not putting up with the disgusting way we are all being treated.
Try not to worry too much. You know you can vent on this site and someone will reply to you. The admin staff are very caring and very good and they seem to pick up on those of us who need a bit of extra TLC. I suppose they must have the unenviable task of reading through all our blogs!
Take care and keep warm wherever you are in the country. It seems most of the country is cold and covered in snow. We have it here on the South Coast and it has been freezing today.
Do you have a partner who is supportive? AND/OR a furry friend..dog or cat to help keep you warm and give you love?
Sending you loving thoughts and comforting hugs. Saskia XX
Hunnybee, we're all here for you, especially when you are at your lowest. it helps to have a good old rant. I think thats what we've been doing here today. theres so much to rant about. With a constant illness, its so easy to get depressed. we dont need all this extra hassle. I have been suicidal on a few occasions. its a very scarey place to be. sometimes it feels like its the ONLY place to be. but we all have to fight together, we need each other to fight this despicable nasty selfish greedy heartless government. I can still get about but its hard. i can still manage my personal needs, but its hard. Ive just looked into my fridge and theres hardly any food in there and i only got paid on tuesday. now i want to cry. im so fed up of living like this (Haa, living??) when the members of government and all their posh rich little chums are having such a good time on tax payers money. We didnt cause this huge debt thing, but we're expected to pay for it big time. well its not on. its not as if we asked to be in this position, who would? We have to stand up and get listened to and get the help we're entitled to. As that old song says..."We are fam ily". We may be sick and disabled but we're not stupid or about to roll over and die. OK?? Lotsa love and huggles.xx
Well said bumblebee, we are fam ily and honeybee (all these bees) you are a very important and highly thought of member of that family. Please stay strong. You said talking helped so if you feel you are slipping again, ring the Samaritans again. That is what they are there for my love. Help and support in a crisis.
We are all here for you as you can see from the messages of support above. Stay strong we are all sending you happier vibes.
Piggy hugs xxxxxxxxx
Thank you everyone xhugsx my gp knows all abt me feeling suicidal I have been feeling like this over a year now it comes an goes im in the process of changing meds I don't have a partner no just me an my kids no family or friends they don't bother with me since I got ill nearly 2yrs ago now I used to run around for everyone that stopped when I got ill nice friends hey lol I do have a dog missy she's my best friend love her she cheers me up xxx
• in reply tohunnybee
Hello Hunnybee, get as many hugs as you can from Missy, they are so loving and loyal aren't they. Our two dogs are a wonderful comfort, even though we have one poorly one at the moment. He's just had two ops and recovering, bless him.
Get comfort from your children too if you can, I don't know hold they are, but hopefully they help you too. Delegate if you can so you don't have so much to do and this will ensure you get some rest too.
We are always here for you Hunnybee, whenever you feel like popping in for a natter or just to tell us how you feel. We will always listen and try to help you.
If you feel like private messaging, please feel free to do so. Just click on my name, it will take you to my profile page, from there select Send Me a Message on the left. Type your message in the box and then Send, always happy to hear from you in confidence.
Take care my dear. (((hug))) xxx
Libs
So glad you have 2 children and a lovely dog to comfort you. I have no family now and only a very few friends who I don't see very often. Like you I always tried to help people but when the tables turned and I was laid low I found that there was really no one there for me except my husband who I had only just married 6 months previously. I always joke with him that a marriage is supposed to be in sickness and in health and unfortunately he got me in sickness!
Things will get better for you, Hunnybee. Awful periods in life come to an end and good things come into your life. I married late in life having been single and worked full time. I never had children which is my biggest regret but it just wasn't meant to be. Our lives don't turn out as we would all have liked but we make the best of our situations. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and they are my babies and give me a great deal of comfort.
Take great care of yourself and please don't feel alone. We are all here for you. You have so many messages of support from the lovely admin ladies and others on here. Take hear from that.
Big warm hugs Saskia XX
Hi liberty thankyou hope you dog gets well soon their so loving arnt they I loads of hugs not so much of my teenagers but you know what teenagers r like lol so lazy too they don't help me I wish they would it would help alot try talking to them is like talking to the wall I just do what I can with alot of breaks I read alot too I love books that keeps me going and my faith gets me through thank you for listening to me means alot xxx
• in reply tohunnybee
Thanks Hunnybee! He will be ok, my dog might need another couple of operations poor little thing.
Oh teenagers! Hmmm I've had three of them. My youngest is 20 later this year, so no more teenagers! They can't help themselves up to a point, so many hormones raging through them and growing up too! They do grow out of it fortunately.
I do sympathise with you, but as long as they love their Mum, it will all come out in the wash my dear, give it time.
Sending you a hug. Take care and keep in touch if you can so we know how you are getting along. (((hug))) xxx
Libs
Saskia• in reply to
So sorry, Libs, to hear that your dog is poorly. It is such a worry when a beloved pet is ill and especially when they need surgery.
What sort of doggie is (s)he? I do hope that (s)he makes a good recovery after surgery so that (s)he has many more years of happiness ahead.
Bless you for all the support you give to all of us on this site. You write such eloquent posts and seem to know just the right thing to say whereas I tend to ramble! My heart is in the right place though!
Loving hugs. Saskia. XX
Healing wishes, going your dog's way from me too, Libs! It's strange the order in which these messages appear. I didn't see your comment about your dog being ill until after I saw others wishing him well. xx
Hi Kirby,
I hope you are doing OK as it was you who wrote the original blog. You certainly started something by what you wrote as there are so many of us who feel the same as you so you certainly touched a nerve in many of us. I hope you haven't felt left out as we all started corresponding with each other.
Are you going through the assessment process at the moment? I am getting very anxious about whether I shall get to see the advice rep on Tuesday as we are snowed in. I don't think they would come out to me. My OH and I could get a taxi, I suppose as a taxi driver would probably be prepared to negotiate the hills around here whereas my OH isn't prepared to take any risks by driving out and getting stuck. We have played that game once too often in the past! Not funny on theses steep hills!
At least you now know that there are many of us like you who have multiple health issues and we are all worried about the implications of what Atos and The Govt are doing in making yet more changes to the already very unfair system.
Keep in touch and keep warm.
Love and hugs Saskia XX
Thanks Saskia
No, I don't feel left out at all. I'm glad that it's generated a group discussion and group support. I've not yet had an assessment but know it will come any time now. I feel as if I've gone through it already because of my sister and other friends.
A taxi does sound your best bit - they will tell you straight if they can't do it, I'm sure.
Happy to keep in touch. I try and pop in here regularly, usually after my email gives me the list of blogs, lol, or if I have a question or something to share or help others with. Best wishes for Tuesday. Love Kirby xxx
• in reply toKirby
Please don't worry Kirby, there have been some posting problems owing to HU working on servers etc., so some posts have been going haywire for a few days. It all seems to be sorted out now hopefully.
Thank you for your lovely kind words Kirby, most appreciated my dear xxxx
xxxThat's great to hear, Hunnybee. I also love reading and writing books. That's something that really keeps me going and has done for years. I don't have kids but think of my books as my kids, lol!! You have to conceive them and nurture them and then send them out into the world. I love cats. I don't have a cat but we go and see my mum every few weeks and her cat is the family cat. She's 19 now and such a character, love her to bits. My sister I live with is my greatest support, she has similar, anxiety and agoraphobia. It's good anyway to find the support where you can and give yourself some escapist time and bury yourself in the things you enjoy. Hugs xxx
Hi Kirby yes I love books that's my escape has got me through some hard times. You written a book wow that's fab! I'm glad you have your sister for support its nice to have someone. Your mind cat sounds such a character animals are lovely arnt they xxhugsxx
Thanks Hunnybee. Thanks - I started writing years ago though I don't sell many but decided to embrace the new digital technology so that keeps me busy getting my work onto Kindle! Animals are lovely, definitely. I wish I could have a cat here but because we go to see my mum's every other weekend it wouldn't be fair to leave a cat here on its own. Take care ((hugs)) xx
Thankyou saskia your husband is a one off he obv loves you bless him its nice to have someone who cares for you xhugsx my dog is my baby too she gives me great joy xxx im sure this will pass and ill be ok thank you to you all for the support means alot xxx liberty I look forward to the days when the teen days r over lol I remember then yrs myself not easy I have a safe haven in my bedroom I just go off and read its lovely xxx
• in reply tohunnybee
Thank goodness for books Hunnybee, we can just disappear into another World, I wouldn't be without my Kindle for anything! 
Stay strong today, we are all here for you, so please pop in whenever you feel the need. There's usually someone around to have a chat with etc. We all understand too which is a great help.
Take care. (((hug))) xxx
Libs
Bless you, hunneybee.
All of us who have replied to you care about you a great deal. So never feel alone. Hard I know when you are feeling very low. I am very lucky to have my OH and I do appreciate him. I really never thought I'd get married as I always went out with rotten swines until I met Ian. He is 10 and a half years older than me and will be 70 this year, so I do worry about him and don't want him overdoing things too much on my behalf, as he doesn't have a lot of energy and he has his own health issues, too.
Your children will get past their teen years and I am sure will turn into responsible, loving and caring adults and you'll be so proud of them. Like you, I enjoy reading. It takes your mind off things and allows you to escape into another world for a while which has to be good!
Your bedroom sounds like your sanctuary. Does your doggie join you in there for cuddles? What sort of dog is she? I love all animals. They are such a great comfort and don't talk about you behind your back!
Try to keep your spirits up.
Keep warm and snuggle up in your bedroom when you want to switch off from the world. Can you treat yourself to something nice like a big piece of cake or a bar of choccie?
Thinking of you and sending love and comforting hugs. Saskia XX
Thankyou means alot xhugsx I always got the swine's too now im comfortable with being on my own time for me xx I love my room I have a lovely bed tv books galore im so lucky to have these things I thank god everyday xx my dog is like the dog pippin off the telly if u don't remember her she looks like the dog off the bakers dog food box she doesn't come in my room mo she molts alot nut we do have cuddles on the couch she cheers me up alot x I've just got myself a box of chocolate for later when I go and read xxx
Sounds like you are going to have a good evening with your box of chocolates! You are so right when you say being on your own beats being with rotten swines! It took quite a lot for me to take the plunge and marry!
I know the sort of dog you mean. She must be lovely. Thank God for animals, eh!
Have a nice snuggly evening.
Hugs Saskia XX
Thankyou liberty I will keep popping in not to worry im sure ill be ok xxx
• in reply tohunnybee
Bless you Hunnybee, it's always lovely to hear from you. (((hug))) xxx
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