No sex please im a fibromite!

Ok so i used to have fun sex with my hubby but latley i find its causing ne pain moving legs etc. Today i am left with sooo much pain in my legs the most and knees. I ended up being distracted by the pain so my enjoyment was over ridden by fibro!!! This ilnes is horrid!

EDITED BY ADMIN -

WARNING IN ADVANCE! This thread is fairly explicit in places, so please if you have a nervous disposition or are easily shocked, this isn't the thread for you! On the other hand, if you aren't easily shocked, need a bit of advice or need to share experiences, then you're in the right place! :O ;) :P

22 Replies

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  • Ahhhh oh dear , yet another one of us has succumbed to the world of painful sex....... No gins i am not talking about bondage.... Even though gins swears her bandages / bondages were purelly for her leg join us as we stagger stumble and lurch for the hills at the mention of that three letter word or in my case the bathroom as its closer and has a lock.

    So sorry

    Hugs VGx

  • Yep...been married 3 months...oh today actually (oops) and my poor husband...well...lets just say I really went to town n his x,as presents this year to make up for it lol!

    It's pretty unattractive keeping saying ow...ow...ow...ow mid 'passion'

    Glad yet again I'm not the only one and that its ok to talk about THaT side if it here! X

  • Yeah in fact we even had a male join in last time we discussed this .. Was nice to hear about it from a males prospective. I consider myself very lucky been married to OH for 16 years and he puts up with everything life throws a us.... My illness his incurable lungs and an autistic son but it certainly makes our life as a family interesting :)

    VG x

  • Sexual enjoyment can be just another element of life that this horrible life draining illness can steal; but if your inventive and find positions and aids that support the body without causing too much pain its something that a fibromite and their OH may engage in and enjoy. Also for those who find sex just too painful to bear dont forget intimacy; enjoy a meal together, watch a romantic movie and try a cuddle and kissin session or even just hold hands and exchange loving glances it all helps to keep the flame burning!!! even if our days of swinging from chandleirs, squeezing into the back seats of cars or sharing a romantic bath together are long gone :-)))) lol x

    Dixie

  • awww yes lol gues i should not laugh but as it goes Friday i thought ohhh focus lets get it on as not done for a few month i think, lost count , my tummy was hurting .. anyway

    i just bit!! just to keep me quiet with the 'OO' "ouch" sounds not the excitment of it hahah

    when all phew over i lay there cannot move a muskle at all ..

    Hubby ' alright sweetheart '?.

    Me "yeah cant move'

    Hubby ' wow wish i had that effect before

    I lay because at 1st it started with my left leg cramping and going dead over this past 2 yrs and now i am just dead until things wake up

    so yes pmsl at our moments alately and took me all wkend to recover too :-/

    Sorry to be so personal but dont need the handcuffs to keep me there anymore as i cant move anyway lol

    But on a serious note, ... i said think we shall get in what we can when we can as you never know when it will end as its getting less and less and lesss and lesss :-(

    i going to ask a very personal question too on posts as i find since i got like this my nipples are out of order too sooo painful!!!!!!

    xhugs and llove xx

  • No nipple action in this house either... they feel like they're being sandpapered if OH touches them...

    :p

  • pleasure is pain, pain is pleasure lol xxxxx

  • Apart from all the aches and pains, it's difficult to find the energy to do anything of a sexy nature.

    The nearest I get to any action these days is reading a romantic novel in bed, and even then I tend to fall asleep before the characters do anything naughty.

    The funny thing is that I take a weekly stagger to the local library in order to find said romantic novels, and for three weeks running I have been chatted up by a very attractive retired university lecturer.

    Am not sure whether I should accept a date, 'cos he looks very fit in more ways than one, and I would hate to be a disappointment to him!

    Ah well, this Miss Bennett will dream about her Mr Darcy, and continue to give the matter a lot of foggy consideration!

    Huggly stuff ... Moffy x

  • How exciting Moffy! It's lovely he finds you attractive, what an ego boost too! :) Be happy, life is so short! :) xxx

  • Never say never and give him a chance, you never know :-)

  • Go for it moffy life is too short for what ifs, and if you are a disappointment, have you thought HE might be a disappointment then you have lost nothing by trying compared to the wondering what might have been

    Good luck next week

    VG x

  • Thank you ladies! It's nice to have some encouragement ... will let you know how it goes. I don't think it's going to be anything like 'Fifty Shades', but you never know!

    Love, Moffy x

  • Bless you Moffy, just you take it easy lol! ;) xxxx

  • Sorry this has caught you up too Tinkerfae. Fibro is a bit of a b***er sometimes isn't it? I am afraid I have refused to participate if I hurt that much that I have no chance of enjoyment. It's not even the being pulled around that is the worst of it - it's the gentle caresses - they feel like someone has put a blowtorch onto sunburn.....

  • Hi Tinker

    Oh for the joys of sex eh, or lack of it. I find if I make hubby do all the work it aint so bad. Get hubby to lay on his right side, you lay on your back. Put your right leg between his legs and put your left leg over his left hip. This supports your legs and takes pressure off your spine. I might not get it often but I am sure as hell not going without! If this needs to be adminned lol I am sorry xxxxx

  • I am still trying to work that one out Ozzy! My brain is too foggy at the moment lol! The mind boggles! :O ;)

    We posted a warning at the top of this thread warning anyone who is easily offended that there may be explicit content on this thread. I think we are covered on this particular thread but obviously content as explicit as Ozzy's (:P :O) would not be permissible on other threads. Hope that makes sense folks. :)

  • I am not going to draw you a diagram lol xxxxx

  • Hi ladies im new here so please be gentle with me. I am 34 andOH and i are disabled from birth. We were very active before the fibro but when i got diagnosed in 2008 things changed alot. It got less and then stopped all together. We got engaged days before the diagnosis and married in june 2010. Weve not been physical for nearly 3 years now. I feel our marraige is already in trouble before its begun. I dont have the energy or pain threshold to be physical and then the guilt sets in. Ive alredy said to go and find someone else but he says he loves me and wont. He is a very physical person and i feel if i dont do something soon i will lose him. Help me please.

  • Hun it sounds as though you are at your wits end on this one. But you got married after the diagnoses and that says a lot. I thought I was hard done(over the last 26 years) by managing(the actual deed) maybe twice a year, and I do not mean that in a sarcastic way at all. But there are lots of other ways for your partner to satisfy himself and you whilst still sharing a bed with you. There is so much out there now and without wanting to be too explicit, lots of toys, magazines and dvds too. I tried telling my hubby that if he would like to be with someone who could give him the physical side then he should. He was shocked and offended that I would even think of it. And I was ill when we got engaged and I was 100 times worse by the time we eventually got married about 9 years later. Sometimes for a woman to watch her man being excited by the fact his wife is watching him is enough to bring about an o***sm for him and her thus both parties come out of it feeling happy. Just because you are unable to perform 7 nights a week does not mean your marriage is doomed, if it was it would never have happened. There IS so much you can both do that will not drain you of energy and cause you untold pain. And as for worrying that you will lose him you are going to make yourself even more depressed which will not help your fibro(gentle hugs)xxxxx all is not lost

  • I think what we tend to forget is that most of us are with our spouses, partners, OH (or whatever we call them lol!) because we love them and they love us. Feeling loved and knowing we are loved is the most important thing, making time for each other in the simplest of ways, enjoying the simplest of things is also wonderful.

    At the end of the day anyone can have a romp in the hay, but to feel truly loved is the best feeling on Earth, to know that to your partner you are the most important thing in his/her life no matter what is worth more than ten lottery wins! Even with Fibro we can make our other halves feel loved, wanted and important - that's what it's all about at the end of the day in my opinion. Cuddles are free - even a gentle hug is lovely! :)

  • I must be in the minority after reading all these posts. because I have a very good sexual relationship with my boyfriend. if anything I instigate it more than he does.

    now admittedly my boyfriend does most of the hard work and I cant do it as often as I would like (my libido is still a live and kicking although my body is not) but we have managed to make it work. and i have found it to relax my body, my tips are a lot of stroking, caressing and kissing, foreplay is a must !!!!!! and most importantly a loving, considerate and understanding partner, then you will find a way after all where there's a will there's a way as they say.

    Now i am not saying am at it like a tiger lol (I WISH) but it works for us .

    I guess it's a bit like fibro you have to find what works for you

    but I think (with us women) it all begins with how you feel about yourself, which I know it's hard to feel sexy when you/we feel so ill/sore all the time. but pampering yourself a little e.g file and paint your nails, get hair done, have a long soak in a bath, have a facial or do a face mask etc or what ever it is that makes you feel a little better will make you feel better about yourself etc

    but i have to say the best thing ever (i call it my happy place) is lying in his arms in bed with my head on his chest and his warm strong arm around me, and for a little while it is the best place on earth (until the pain in my neck (literally) and shoulders makes it uncomfortable)

    surely i am not the only one doing the do???? there must be more than just me out there

  • I am genuinely very pleased for you Irene, but speaking personally I couldn't manage half the things you are able to do. Even a long soak in the bath is impossible for me, or even a short soak in the bath. Come to think of it I can't even get into the bath lol! Painting my nails - that's a no no too, arthritis makes that impossible. Lying in hubby's arms can't be managed either as too many bits and pieces are too painful.

    I am sure there are many Fibromites like me who would love to do all those things and more but are in too much pain to even attempt them. It's a great shame but sadly the reality of Fibro.

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