Fibromyalgia Action UK
41,185 members53,279 posts

Cant help the way Im feeling

I am well aware there are plenty of genuine people claiming benefits and I am also aware that there are many not so genuine. I have seen over many years that alot of people think the benefits system is theres to dip into as much as they can, and I cant honestly say I know anyone who hasnt lied or exaggerated. I have worked since I left school and when I had to go on benefits, I found it to be very hard and I know what it is like not to be able to afford food. But some on benefits still have lots left to go out or buy drugs or drink and I still feel there is a real problem with the mentality of dole head kids watching mum and dad never work and continue to have as many children as they fee like. I became more biased when I was classed as dole scum, because thats how you feel sometimes the way they treat you. I mean benefits, doctors and housing, I have had one person only in four years who supported me and that is out of many contacts. I am not someone who usually rants about these things, its just what I know from experience. I was a civil servant and I have seen alot, even well off cheat and lie, but Im getting more angry and frustrated with my life. I dont know where I stand anymore, and Im sick of being ignored. Cant help the way im feeling, everyone getting on with their lives, spending, having fun times and holidays. I cant do any. Im sounding so bitter, but who can I blame??

8 Replies


I feel so sorry for you i really do. I a lucky enough to have a husband who earns enough to support us both. I do dog walk and cat sit to get some me money.

Have you been diagnosed by a doctor or specialist? Surely a letter from them explaining your situation might help?

Sorry I am not much help but we are all here for you.

Piggie hugs xxxxxx


Luckily not everyone is out for everything they can get , I was told by my GP that i should be registered disabled for nearly 30 years but always refused. It may be the fact that i have a brother who uses a wheelchair due to being paralysed from the chest down. He doesn't consider himself disabled he says he just does things differently.

we do understand how you feel about life passing you by, one of the hardest things with this illness is accepting it and learning to live with it, as i have been disabled since birth maybe i have found it easier to accept another curve ball. I am so sorry you do not have support but i am afraid it happens a lot , people seem unable to imagine what our lives can be like but on here we do understand and can empathise with your struggles , please take care x


Hi realsorelady, I understand where you are coming from, the government are trying to change the benefit system to make it fair for everyone. I have always worked and still do now, mind you I am lucky to be able to work part time now, after struggling with fibro for years and Dr saying, can you not go part time etc. There are still days where I don't feel like going in as I am struggling with pain and tiredness. My GP says I need to push myself! The thing with fibro is that is it isn't recognised as an illness in the eyes of the majority of people. Hang in there girl, we are here for you x


Hi realsorelady im sure a lot of us on here can empathise with your feelings of anger and frustration as at some point in this illness we have all felt likewise. Its hard to watch others get on with living when we feel like this illness has robbed us of our ability to do things we once took for granted like work, socialise, have a hobby, maintain friendships etc. its ok to feel these negative feelings were only human after all!! but try not to let this negativity swamp you and drag you down. It sounds trite but if we think and act positive then this attracts positive things and people into our lives. Its so hard to be positive when you ache so much and cannot sleep but trully a positive mental attitude and looking at your life with a different perspective will deff make your life a little easier.

Ps. Iris your brother is an inspiration he may be in a wheelchair but his mind is free and the fact that he chooses to regard his life as challanging rather than belive himself to be disabled is humbling. Give him my regards xx


Pps i hope things improve for you soon realsorelady and im sending you big warm hugsssss from belfast take care of yourself xx



hogs and long distance lovies


hugs even lol


Hi realsorelady , I too worked full time for many many years - My first job started when I was twelve clearing pots in a very large cafe ( Blackpool) I know I did not pay tax then but I worked almost non-stop until in my forties when fibro & M.E struck me down. By that time I lived in a lovely bungalow with a nice life & what I thought was a nice partner. I was wrong , once I got ill it did not take him long to be seeing someone else- long story short - lost my house & partner, now in rented alone no savings and struggle day after day. My one stroke of luck is my lovely daughter & her husband. I feel totally let down by the system that is supposed to help when you are ill. Dare not even have my heating & hot water on half the is very basic and minimal this year. Feeling more and more frightened that I am going to lose my little rented house too....constantly down to pennies in my purse..


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