neighbours

is anyone worried about people judging you on your disability.For example,if you have a car on mobility the tax disc shows it's mobility,I would rather move to a different area are you not worried neighbours may sneer you after all the hype in newspapers.Thinking that your a sponger of benefits,it worries me i couldn't cope with that and i know that would be the case where i live,so i don't have a car though i can have one,i just use my partners,though i could do with automatic my hands are very painful.My theory is don't let anyone know even my family don't know what benefits i get,not because i don't trust them but they could harmlessly drop it out to someone,i would hate to have the thoughts i was a sponger.What a unfriendly community we live in now ,not all people are the same of course but it's very few and far between.I would rather move to a different area and meet new people,i've lived here 50 years.Most of the people have too,think the more they know you the harder for them to accept i have a dissability.Sorry a bit longwinded.yours truly jacksie

16 Replies

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  • I can honestly say I have never thought what the neighbours might think or say... And to be truthful as I usually am .. Too much so at times .......neither do I care... Live and let live that's me.. They can do their thing I,ll do mine.. Perhaps it's the community where I live, small bungalowed estate, mainly populated by people older than me, when they see me out on mobility scooter we stop and chat and the only comment I ever had from a neighbour was... By heck that's a nice scooter lass glad to see you getting out and about at last.

    Life is too short to worry about what people may be thinking about us....

    Just enjoy life to the best you can with fibro and anything else that'chooses to come along and live in our bodies

    VG x

  • my mother worried about what the neighbours would say all her life and in most cases they had not even noticed what ever was on her mind.

    If anyone says anything just point out that you'd give up all the 'benefits' if you could just have your health back again.

  • I agree with VG about this....If you need a car then get one if you have higher rate mobility you are entitled to one. don't forget you have paid into the tax etc all the time you have worked. Don't waste your energy on worrying about what this or that person may think it is not worth it!!

    I remember when I first had my Mobility and my car was my own and in good nic, we taxed the car with a diabillity tax disc and then a few years down the line, when poor old Bessy was needing more and more spent to keep her,we went and got a car with my mobility. At the time I thought ' Oh I dont think I am ill enough to have this beautiful car all paid for etc....'

    Then my husband pointed out it is your Mobility component that is paying for it,and you would not have it if you were well. I had my good days but I also had my bad days,but now I just think well if it gets me from A to B then I am grateful. :-)

    Please don't beat yourself up over this...no matter what the neighbours think!! I know it is hard but to be honest it is none of their business...........Hope you can sort this out as you will be so much safer and all the pressure is taken off you. The tax Mot,Ins,and Servicing and tyres are all sorted for you! I don't know about you but that paper work in itself used to worry me.....now all I do is put Deizel in and oil when and if its needed. :-p

    Big Gentle hugs to you and think of whats best for you x x x

  • hey rainbowdancer that was a lovely answer to my question,you have given me some comfort.Love the name.Loads of thanks jacksie

  • hi rainbow dancer, lovely name, hope you dont mind me asking, did you get mobility rate for having fibro alone? or do you have other health issues. if you would soon er answer privatley ,send a message to my in box thankyou, hope your not offended by me asking,tc love soma x

  • Oh VG please, if you are entitled to a mobility car, blooming well get one. Don't worry what the neighbours think, it is none o their business. Look after number one! If it was one of them who was entitled do you think they would hesitate,

    If you are really unhappy there I guess you could think about moving but remember that would impact on your health. Don't let a narrow minded minority - because i bet it will be a minority - put you off having what you are entitled to!

    Storm x

  • Umm I,m not entitled to one .. Think you have mixed me up with jacksie it's her question. I don't care what the neighbours think

    Just blame it on fibro fog.... Thanks for caring though

    Hugs VGx

  • as you can have a tax disc on any car you use mainly for you when you receive the high rate mobility. I can't fathom why anyone should be bothered to try and read your tax disc. I have just got my new motability car and, as rainbowdancer says, no pressure! I just fill it up with diesel and enjoy. [somebody dented it on friday ]

    regards,

    sandra.

  • Jacksie never mind what other people say about your car or tax disc, You need the car to enable you to travel to appointments, Shopping and social family gatherings,

    Just enjoy your independance and your car is your link to outside world...........

    Many years ago my late wife had a mobility car and blue car badge. Her mobility and walking became difficult and we visited our supermarket.

    I was her driver on this day and as we parked in the disability bay, Badge displayed. A middle aged lady came over and started to insult and shout at me for parking in a disabled area as " I looked to well to be disable and parking in a bay for ill people " I retorted back and asked her to get her facts sorted before abusing disabled folk and pointed out my wife was the badge holder.......

    I can understand and more so now with all the welfare cuts people are now becoming resentful for what others have..................

    Enjoy your car and independance YOU NEED IT.......

    Best regards, Steve. & Hugs Too.

  • Thanks a lot security,that was a reassuring answer,you are completely right,i think i need to improve my confidence more.3 years ago it wouldn't of bothered me but then i wasn't fibronised,hum! did you like that bit.yours lovingly jacksiex.

  • I have a motability car and have done so for many years - I sometimes appear to others quite normal and probably quite fit - that is what I try to portray - however for most of the time I feel absolutely awful -I fight every day to get up in the morning (that is I have actually slept) - I face the day one at a time and probably hardyly anyone in my street knows that I am a very sick person - I do my very best not to let it show - if someone says I have nt seen you for a while I just say no I have been unwell - without my vehicle I could not even get anywhere near to a normal life - I can drive to the shops daily if necessary as I cannot carry too much at once (no one knows this in my street) - just get yoru car if you are entitled to it you will be surprised how much a difference it makes to getting somewhere near a bit of normality. X And yes this benefit was granted me because I am not able to walk too far or carry much - fm and sponoditis in the kneck also.

  • Hi sharon just got up ,right away i switched on before i even had a cup of tea i was reading my texts.How you answered is typical me" hurray"feel like i found something close in you,you are exactlyn how i feel and think,i can't help though feeling guilty of my benefits one minute i do then i don't absolute madness,i sem to spend my days thinkng am i really entitled to this.I also have spondo in neck killing me now,thankyou for your lovely,lovely answer jacksiex

  • I understand completely as I am very sensitive about what people think and some of our neighbours spend so much time gossiping and what they don't know they make up! I hate it! I too would like to move to a different area where people accept you for who you are now and don't judge you for how you used to be and how you are now! Hope that reassures you. Love and hugs XX

  • oh saskia how we think exactly the same,lots of people have answered me and they all say the same thing ignore them and get on with it,i will but still being conscious of those horrible people.What some do is walk the dogs they pass my car and would look at tax disc, then walking the dogs allow them to bump into others then gossip.Very sad but it's true.yours lovingly jacksiex

  • eh saskia jacksie here,i like a bit of a flutter on the horses,a horse name saskias dream won should of had that one after texting you,hum never mindx

  • Apologies VG - I knew one day I would reply to the wrong person *facepalm* I of course meant the comment for the person who posted it which was Jacksie - apologies to you too. I am a fibro twit :-/

    VG I am glad you don't care what your neighbours think :-p

    Storm x

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