It was the night before Christmas

I thought I would tell you just a little tale about a young Mum (Me) who found herself widowed and facing Christmas with two wonderful children. This particular year everything had changed well of course it had when you loose the main stay to your family to cancer in the summer you have to face building Christmas in a different way.

So the three of us spent some time thinking what to do we had to change old traditions we could no longer open stockings on Our double bed at silly o clock in the morning so we opened them in front of the fire downstairs with Bucks Fizz to drink. Then breakfast well smoke samoln and scrambled egg with more bucks fizz instead of boiled eggs and soldiers.

We then all got dressed and opened prezzies in the sitting room with more champagne.

Then lunch then games and fresh air before movies and more games. So we made new traditions and of course we all shed a tear - I still do at christmas but hey we got through and now some fifteen years later a new set is about to be made by my children hosting their first christmases which they will do brilliantly! :)

I still love Christmas and seeing peoples faces when they open prezzies it is not what they have got but the smiles on theirs lips and their eyes twinkling up at you.

A tear has just rolled down my face where was that from ------------:) raise a glass to all those you love and have loved :) Happy Crimbo in advance xgins

21 Replies

  • Oh gins,so sad and yet you turned everything around so you new you could get through what should be a happy time and stop yourself and kids being so sad,Christmas aswell as being a lovely time can be so heartbreaking when people have gone,it was lovely to change routine to ensure a happy time didn't become a time where you just cried,I'm sure every Christmas is hard for you but at least you have some wonderful memories...xx

  • sad yes but we did not thinkg of it like that :) I guess we had so much sadness that we just looked forward xgins

  • Oh my gins that has hit me, that couldn't have been easy. It touches me more because my daughters best friend's mum (she was my friend too) past away in April from cancer and her and her dad are facing their first Christmas alone and my heart goes out to them so much.

    Like you i'm sure they will cope and make the best of it. xxx

  • they will find it hard but they will manage I always think laughter and tears are very closely related :) wish then luck xgins

  • Well done, gins, for making Christmas still special for yourself and your kids. My boyfriend's Dad passed away last Christmas Eve, and I know this year is going to be difficult for all of us, but you give me confidence that we can still make it fun!


  • Sooty it will be fun never let it bcome sad sometimes too much reminising is bad :) xgins

  • You never realise what you have until it's gone, an old saying but how true. What a wonderful person you are, you have provided your children with a loving home whilst grieving for your loved one. I am sure this Christmas will be special but different. Drink a toast to your loved one. We never forget our loved ones at Christmas, I always light a candle and we drink a toast to them when we have Christmas dinner. If you shed a tear that's fine, I still do for my Dad who passed 17 years ago, and my mum just 3 years ago. They want us to enjoy it I am sure, and I believe somehow they are still connected to us , so enjoy. Bless you

  • Hae a lovely hristmas Wednesday and there is noting wrong with a tear for your Mum and Dad here are two songs which always make me cry for them The Holy and the ivy always makes me cry for Dad and always look on the bright side of life for MUm take care xgins

  • Xmas is always an emotional time, sadness and hopefully happy times too. Your story is so sad but omg what a strong, brave woman you are! Strength comes from close family bonds and gets us through, but what you did, how you coped and created something so wonderful, your children will benefit from for the rest of their lives and pass down to the next generation. Excuse me, need to shed a few tears myself! Happy times to come :) xx

  • Thank you Tulip and no more tears :) gentle hugs gins

  • What a lovely inspirational story

    Regards Nicki xxxxx

  • Thanks Homer xgins

  • What an incredible festive story and memories Gins, thank you so much for posting it for all of us to read. I think that's the secret when life changes drastically, make your own changes as things can't ever be the same without that special person. You did the best possible thing by making new traditions, just little changes but significant enough to make a difference, a step to the future. I admire you enormously, well done you! :) xx

    I changed our Christmases years ago when I was left with two small children and no money at all. We didn't have the benefits' system like today, I literally had nothing but a few pounds which took months to put aside. The children and I still managed to have a good Christmas, their presents were second hand from charity shops (I bought 150 plastic soldiers for my son for £1, two plastic tanks and two lorries also for £1 - to see his little face light up makes me feel weepy even now all these years later! For my daughter I managed to buy a second hand doll and a small plastic baby bath, totalling £2.50, she was thrilled too and played with her toys happily!) - I cut corners all over the place. We even had Christmas Dinner but no turkey with all the trimmings - we had two pork chops between us and I bought veg from the local market and a box of stuffing - to this day it was one of the best meals we've ever had because the sense of victory was amazing, we did it! We even had a bought mince pie each for pud after!

    At the end of the day Christmas isn't about having lots of money or lots of presents, it's about making the best of what you have and who you have with you. Those are the important things in life. If I never had another present again, it wouldn't bother me, just to see people smile, laugh and enjoying themselves is worth millions! Singing Christmas songs like Frosty the Snowman, Winter Wonderland and Jingle Bells make it magical for me too! :)

    I hope everyone here at FibroAction manages to have a Merry Christmas wherever you are. xxx

  • We have so much in comon. I agree hole heartedly to see smiling happy faces enjoying themselves is worth millions. Gentle hugs my friend and Happy times a head xgins

  • What a strong person you are. Thank you for reminding us that things have to go on even if in a new and changed way. I wish you and your family a truely festive Christmas again this year. XX

  • Thank you and to you may you have a lovely christmas this year full of peace andharmony xgins

  • What a touching story Gins. We lost my partner's mum to cancer 5 years ago in the Summer and we'vewere all dreading the following Christmas as we were all staying at her house with OH's step father and worried it would be too upsetting. It was decided that I would cook for the 3 veggies and his brother would do the veg whilst Eddie, the step dad catered for the carnies. We went to the village pub as usual on Christmas Eve then made the stockings between us and had a thoroughly wonderful Christmas. Last year Eddie met a new woman and we spent a lovely Christmas in the middle I nowhere in 3,converted barns near Goathland (where they filmed Heartbeat) nothing but moorland and sheep for miles. I had to walk halfway up a moor just to get a singnal on my phone.

    It is because of the money OH was left that we were able to buy the house, have repairs done and even bought my little Jerry and the Bengal nutters. I never forget this even when I'm having a bad time like today and I've got a little mini leopard sitting next to me gazing up with big green eyes. Sorry I've gone off topic but I guess your post touched a chord within me. I hope that the coming holiday season is a happy one for all

    Storm x

  • Storm it is truly amazing how many of us have ben touched by Angels. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas having fun and laughter xgins

  • Hi all we lost my mum to lung cancer Feb 2010 which left my youngest brother alone as he was her carer, my dad goes to his inlaws in Kent every year, my other brother lives in Lincolnshire and he and his family go to his inlaws, I live in Yorkshire so that leaves my brother on his own in Norfolk, so he works he dosnt mind he delivers meals to the old and infirm who have no one to cook for them he enjoys being able to carry on in a care capacityas he was our mums carer fo 20 years. Big gentle hugs to all sorry not to have commented on any blogs but having a bad month its been a total flair up but at least my sists have finaly healed I go for my scan tomorrow great fun not , any way ttfn. Sithy

  • Slithy my heart goes out to you and yours this christmas tide I feel for your youngest brother who I am sure will manage ably but will still be in our thoughts. Gentle hugs to you all and Iam sure your Mum will be watching over te preceedings xgins

  • Thankyou gins you have a good one too big gentle hugs. Sithy

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