People Do not understand

[Francesgoldwater]

I have had Fibromyalgia for a long time, it went undiagnosed for years, eventually I found a Professor that specialised in it. Until I was diagnosed I people did not believe the amount of pain I had. What a relief to finally understand what was wrong. It is one of the most horrible conditions there is.

[julieevh]

It is difficult for people who are not experiencing this wretched condition to understand how much pain we endure on a minute by minute basis - I said on another post a few days ago that I wish fibromites went green and grew horns - we might look like Shrek and Princess Fiona and have little children pointing at us in the street ... but at least people would know we were genuinely ill and not just being drama queens and kings.

Julie xx

[ladymoth]

Who cares what people think, or what they believe, and why should it be necessary for them to understand? If you are ill then it's your business and your doctor's ... no one else needs to have an opinion, except maybe your nearest and dearest.

Personally I'm glad that fibro doesn't affect my appearance - I have enough trouble with the rheumatoid arthritis giving me horrible gnarly hands and feet - a green face and horns would make life much less bearable. I sometimes do look ill and drawn when I've had a bad day, and I hate it. Bring on the blusher and the Touche Eclat says me!

I find, on the whole that people are quite amenable to being asked for help if you can't manage something, or if you say 'Sorry - not doing that - it hurts!'

On the other hand, I realised a long time ago that just moaning, without any specific request for help, gets you nowhere - I guess it's because people feel disempowered when they don't know how to help, and they will usually start treating you dismissively.

So there you are. Stop worrying about being taken seriously (apart from by your doctor of course!). You believe in yourself - that's all that matters. Ask smilingly for all the help you need and more, and keep your moaning for this site and for the medical professionals!

Talking about moaning, my neck hurts, my feet hurt, my hands are agony, and my knees and hips are throbbing like a brass band. I also have an upset tum and a headache, plus a houseful of guests expecting dinner.

See? I'm no Polyanna. I can moan with the best of ya!

Yours with plentiful Tramadol ... Moffy x

[Waterlily in reply to ladymoth]

Its postings like yours ladymoth that make me wish we had a 'like' button on the forum!

[Hidden in reply to ladymoth]

Brilliant Moffy, I totally agree with you! I don't care what people think or believe about me and my Fibro. As long as hubby and my immediate family believe me, it doesn't matter about anyone else.

I agree with Moffy, I am glad I look normal. I put my foundation, blusher and eye make-up on with lashings of mascara and for all intents and purposes I am normal, whatever that is. I wouldn't want to look different. I wear skinny jeans and boots and a pretty top and I feel normal apart from the intense pains, exhaustion and other delights that Fibro, CFS/ME and RLS bring!

If people don't believe me frankly that's their problem not mine. If I can do something I do it, if I can't I don't. If I am having a bad flare-up and confined to bed until further notice that's the way it is, I accept that and so do my family. I have lost so many friends over the years with Fibro, but sobeit - if they really cared they would be by my side now. I think Fibro has made me toughen up, I wear a protective shell these days so I don't get offended or hurt like at the beginning when I felt no-one believed me. It's easier now, I honestly don't worry about it at all.

So please don't worry Frances, once you reach the stage where you don't worry about this sort of thing any more, it is much easier to cope with yourself if that makes sense. We all believe you here and we care about you as we do for each other. I am still not convinced people understand even when we have a diagnosis, I was still met with blank faces. It's their loss at the end of the day.

I totally agree with Waterlily and Ozzy! Well said!

[Ozzygirl64]

I gave up long ago worrying what people think. It is my illness and my problem and I find my owns ways of dealing with it. People who do not have it will never understand it no matter how much explaining you do. I even know someone who is upset because he partner refuses to understand it and offers her very little help because of his lack of understanding. If I am having severe balance problems as I am now and someone chooses to assume I am drunk, then this makes them ignorant and I should not have to explain myself to them or anyone else. In the home I may say to hubby that a bit of me is hurting but most often don't. He sees my problem by the way I do things and accidents I have along the way, enough said. Never feel you have to exlain yourself xxxxx

[poshlady6]

i have fybro ,my sister died a couple of years ago then my dog who i adored then xmas my dad died now they think my husband has prostrate cancer and is awaitung biopsy with all the pain no sleep dont know how much more can go wrong ,im having to keep chirpy for my husband but with everything else finding it hard oh god i should stop moaning try to sleep and hope tommorrow i'll hope for a better day .don't know why i'm telling you all this but its nice to get it off my mind i was like you once but now don't care what blo***dy stupid and ignorant poeple think you get enough pain in your life with out them causing you more donttake any crap from people who think you faking things just hope they come to understand one day and if not put it down to there lack of feeling and intelligence now you take care and sorry if iv'e rambled on sheila

[Francesgoldwater]

Hi Poshlady why has all these terrible things happened to you ITS NOT FAIR I feel your pain having been through devasting things too. I send you MUCH LOVE I hope you can feel it coming to you. I have a very strong faith maybe its all rubbish but it comforts me, sometimes I feel so ill I want to sleep forever. Lots of love Sheila with hope which is all we can have.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx