Just another manic Monday

Just another manic Monday

And here comes another week! Trying very hard to stay cheerful, although the knowledge that in only 16 days, my boyfriend will be under general anaesthetic having a major bowel op is keeping me in a constant state of panic. His surgeon is supposed to be one of the best and most careful that there is in this field, which is good, and I've met with his stoma nurse a couple of times, and she's a dear. Unfortunately, I was a born worrier, and the knowledge that I can do nothing to manage this situation apart from be his support (whenever the hospital staff will let me in) is flipping my stomach over just thinking about it.

So, I'll try not to think about it. I've been counting my blessings today, starting with five jobs I'm glad I don't do with fibro:

1) Professional dancer - with my new-found lack of co-ordination, this could have been disastrous!

2) General surgeon - I'd never be able to stand up for that long!

3) Athlete - with these feet? (Porridge reference ...)

4) Politician - everyone knows that the secret to being a good liar is a good memory ...

5) Sniper - with my twitchy trigger finger, it'd be BOGOF every time I shot!

Today was also the first day I felt that I needed to use one of my two elbow-crutches (I can't use both yet - I trip myself up!), which was a novelty - kicking it from under myself, placing it on my baggy trouser bottoms, getting out of sync with myself ... Two people asked if I was pretending to be a patient, and a couple of patients gave me odd looks when I walked in. Hopefully, I won't need it all of the time, as it made me really tired when I thought I'd take a wander to the supermarket with it, rather than take the car, at lunchtime. Or maybe it was the fibro that made me tired. Or possibly the really sleepless night last night. Either way, I was very glad to park my bum infront of the computer again!

Big, gentle Monday hugs to you all! xx

7 Replies

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  • Hi SootyB.

    You have a lot going on!!

    It is always stressful when people close to you have anything wrong and surgery is always so difficult as you are trying to be re-assuring and positive while dealing with you own heatlh problems, work etc too.

    My father had bowel surgery and it seemed impossible that what was described would work out ok. It did and he recovered very well.

    I wish you both well at this difficult time and a good recovery to your partner :)

    x

  • Hiya try not to worry I just had a GA and I was so scared but i saw lots of people going for surgery and coming back later. He will be in good hands, I hope it all goes well for him poor thing that's a horrible thing to have to go through. Thinking of you both

    Storm x

  • Thanks, both - trying to put a brave face on for him, as I know he's bound to be worried, and he hates the thought of an ileostomy, even though it should only be temporary. He's due so many hugs, though; before and after!

    Sara xx

  • Do hope all goes well with your BF's op. He is a luck guy to have you in his corner for support (even if you are on crutches ;-) !). Jane x

  • Every good wish SootyB ~ and to your OH too. Will be thinking of you. xx

  • Good luck with all you have going on. I find if I am worrying about others it makes the Fm symptoms worse. If I hide the worry people tend to think I am heartless so I cannot win xxxxx

  • Hey Sara :)

    I'm confident the operation will be fine - best wishes to your boyfriend.

    It does all sound stressful though..I will be thinking of you, and may you have strength to get through this difficult time. A good friend of the is having a big op herself soon - she is still in positive spirits - and even though we are sure everything will be okay, we are still worried. Her husband is my godfather and my Dad's best friend - he will have to take a lot of time of work to take care of her afterwards - he puts on a brave face like you but deep down he must be really distressed - he adores her (my Dad set them up as a couple..it's quite sweet really).

    We haven't spoken to him in a while though, we have been going through tough times ourselves and Dad has no good news to deliver - he doesn't want to put his friend through anything else.

    That is, Grandad went down hill - in so much pain he was put on Morphine, but it wasn't enough to give him any quality of life. Eventually his nurse suggested he go to a Hospice for a pain management course - we had Mum going to Slough to Thatcham and back nearly everyday and we never got to see her. She'd always come back very late at night worried. And he didn't come out. They couldn't cure his pain and he'd essentially given up. On night she got a call and had to rush over because he got worse - Dad was with her and me and my sister were left at home. I stayed up half the night waiting for Dad to get home and didn't go in to sixthform because of a flare up. He later passed - it was a relief, at last at peace - and I went to my first funeral yesturday. I am devasted and still grieving..but anyway. :) Like you I am trying to be brave and smile through it.. Trying to go back to school but I am tired all the time (although I was struggling before the Fibro anyway...) proud of myself though, people talked and smiled at me and it made me feel better - I made people laugh.

    Have to say I enjoyed reading a lot of your blog! Especially the bit about the jobs. That gave me a bit of a giggle. Don't stop blogging. :) Was told to keep blogging myself whenever I felt I was struggling so I wrote a long one on Saturday about my feelings and everything I was going through. There was a lot of distress, but without even realising, I put in some funny things about my day to day and made a feel people laugh! :) I was also told that I'm great at blog writing and come across clearly and eloquently. This made me feel very proud of myself. I want to keep blogging and making people smile along the way (I write positive blogs too!) When I'm down about the Fibro but still do a good job blogging - it makes me feel like some part of me from my old life still exists.

    Take care, and gentle hugs. :)

    Fay :) xxx (Your Funkyfairy friend)

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