Had a bad day

Had a bad flare today - torn ligaments in my foot are driving me mad and the general CFS tirednedss and Fibro flare aches and pains haven't helped.

Just had my wretched day topped off by my daughter's boyfriend telling me "you're a f***ing lazy bitch" because I've not done any house work today.

Then he was going on about he didn't like it when I ignored him .... told him I didn't like being nagged or swore at.

Delightful lad then told me he hopes I die in my sleep!

I'll be charitable and put it down to his depression .... not nice being on the receiving end though is it?

Julie xx

13 Replies

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  • Sorry Julie.

    You should not have to put up with his behaviour. I hope it is not making you too stressed and everything worse. Gentle hugs babe xxx

  • Bless you... try and detach yourself from his issues.. and thats what they are just his issues.. You have enough to deal with your own.. Hugs x

  • Id have thrown him out the door and told him not to return dont need that sort of rubbish hope your feeling better soon x

  • That sounds hideous Julie, how dare anyone talk to you like that in your own home? You shouldn't have to justify yourself or your actions to anyone - didn't anyone challenge his behaviour. It's so hard not to let words like these in, especially when we feel in pain and low with it but lacey is right about detaching yourself from his issues. Maybe your daughter or someone else in the family could talk to him about behaving appropriately and respectfully!

    Hope today is a much better day for you xx

  • Omg so sorry to hear how you were disrespected by this guy in your own home. He clearly has issues but you cannot and must not allow your sympathies for his condition to cloud your judgement - show him the front door and propel him through ot with ur foot in his ass!!! And a warning that he can return only when he has learnt some manners. Do you really want this person to be part of your daughters life!!! Warning bells should be sounding loudly for her, i hope she can hear them. Hope things begin to improve for you in regards to your health take care & be strong

    Hugs

    Dixie xxx

  • Disgusting person.kick him out till he learns some respect.

    I have m.e and its awful.

    I hope he never gets it.

    You arent lazy either so ignore him.

    Where was yre daughter when all this happened?

    Hope you manage to rest and this person.or kick him out.x

  • I hope he doesn't live with you.... If he does I think you and your hubby need to be firm and ask for respect or he has to go.... I hope your daughter finds the strength to support you over this... No way should you be treated like this .... I have had severe depression over the years and made life hard for my family not because of outbursts like that ,,, that is NOT acceptable but my being so sad.

    Hugs VGx

  • He lives with me, my daughter, their baby and my younger daughter.

    He is a verbal bully - but I am getting better at ignoring him lol

    Daughter will not disagree with him in public - in private they have some right ding-dongs.

    He spent all day looking after the baby and cleaning their living room and doing their washing - although mine is in the same basket he left mine undone! He kicked off because the kitchen was messy - everyones mess not just mine!

    He is a strange bloke in many ways - he left his Mother when he was 14 and lived on the streets for several months before being homed in London, he has no qualifications and a chip on his shoulder about all sorts of things. I do love him in my own way. Problem is if I throw him out daugher and grand-daughter will go too.

    He is on medication for depression - I do my best not to let him get to me and to rationalise his tantrums.

    Julie xx

  • Such a pain to be caught in the middle next time he says something like that laugh and tell him you left it for him because ge looked bored or u actually thought he woyld feel better insulting you so u gave him the chance lol petal

  • He may be on meds for depression but thats no excuse and bottom line is he's being emotionally and verbally abusive and needs to know that his behaviour isn't acceptable, even more worrying when there's a baby and your younger daughter to hear/sense this aggression. My ex was verbally abusive and i made excuses for him for yrs before i realised hearing this rubbish was goona do me in completely! If you or someone else talked to him about how this behaviour can affect everyone, including the baby would he listen and seek help? None of you should be subjected to this. Good luck Julie and really hope he can sort his nonsense out so that you can recover and enjoy some peace and tranquility.

    Shads xx

  • My ex was verbally abusive to me too - I excused him for ages before we split up; I sometimes hear the same words coming from daughter's partner; he runs ring around me when I try to talk to him about his temper and language. I hate confrontation and arguing - he thrives on it, it's no wonder he is so stressed and depressed.

    I just do my level best to rise above it - the stupid bully will not add aditional stress to my life - I have quite enough to cope with as it is.

    Julie xx

  • show him a mirror and tell him to look as he is a coward and a bully, your daughter needs to open her eyes, and that she is welcome to stay, but if she decides to leave, the door will always be open to her and your grandaughter. It is best you get a social worker involved so that if she does leave she has the help of a outsider.

    I would also tell her that all she is showing her child is that it is alright to be treated as a carpet to be walked over and verbal abuse is fine to, even physical abuse, and that it is time for her to grow up and realize she has a child and she is its only protector.

    I know how you feel but it is best you take control, because you are taking his verbal abuse and letting your daughter see it is alright and the same for your other daughter. A vicious circle is being made and you need to break it. I shall be thinking of you all and wishing only the best, remember sometimes when we feel weakest we are actually the strongest

  • Hi Julie - Keep STRONG! It takes courage and patience to rise above such awful behaviour. Walking away and closing your ears to his abusive words is the only way to keep your stress levels lowered. Of course, all the negative words he used are not actually attributed to you, but to himself in an act of denial - he is taking is self destruction button on you as a mirror. Just keep strong and let him see his words for what they are - but that is his problem. Hope your daughter and grandchildren are okay and safe. Domestic abuse can happen to any person in any kind of relationship, and it does sound like he is crossing the line into emotional and verbal violence that is taken just as seriously as physical abuse. soft hugs xx

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