Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Head all over the place

Hi i am a 37 year old man who is still awake at 6 am in the morning i suffer from fibro and its getting me down badly to the point i have considered not being here anymore as i feel i am useless i am scared i lose my g/f i am ashamed i cant work as i am a mans man who wants to work do housework and pull my weight around the house go on holidays and go for nights out but i cant do that if i try and dance i can hardly walk for about a week i am just looking for some friendly chat as i find it hard to chat to anyone face to face

9 Replies

Hello there.

Please don't feel too bad, we are all in the same boat here. Check out the link below as there is lots of useful information. Have you been diagnosed by your doctor or specialist? Do you take any meds?

I am really worried how you are feeling and think you maybe depressed which many of us are having to cope. Please please go and have a chat with your doctor and girlfriend, it won't make you any less of a man and remember we are all hear to listen and help.

Piggle hugs xxxxx



We do know how it feels, we all suffer the same pain some more so than others andlearning to accept the way we are is difficult. Our lives have changed but it is not hopeless pinggle gave you good advice do not sit alone go see your doctor tell him how you feel help is at hand just ring get an appointment and go.

I am sure your girlfriend will understand and wan what is best for you.

We are always here so let us know how you get on x gins


Please go to your gp and get meds if you haven't already for sleep, I am on an anti depressant ( not that I am depressed ATM ) and clonezapam at night I sleep 7 hours no problem, though I do wake up stiff and sore but everything seems so much more bearable

When you get sleep... I know I have weaned myself off these and bang .. No sleep so I take them and have the stress of not sleeping removed and I find whatever the day throws at me easier after a nights sleep

Good luck VGxx


Hi there, you don't say how long you have had fybro, it takes a while to get used to not being able to do what you want, it's just trial and error I think, but it does get you down, we have all been there. As others have said please go and chat with your GP about not sleeping as everything always seems worse when you lie awake and your mind works overtime. Its good to talk, try not to bottle things up as this only makes things worse, look forward to seeing more posts from you soon :-)


hiya please dont feel bad its not your fault and your g.f obviously loves you lots and understands to a certain degree.

we never asked for this .as people may know on here who no me well.i live with a great wonderful man and fell in love through us both having this illness and m.e.hes alot like you by sounds of it and always worked with it.but now hes too bad to work.we both have our bad days and good days and im lucky that we both get it and support one another.but its not to say he doesnt get down,or fed up,or like living this .

i cant say either that it gets easier coz it doesnt.but in some ways it does .you look at your life diffidently and we live day by day and not plan too much in future.

im marrying i hope next year all coz i helped him through a bad bad patch on internet.some days i pinch myself and think wow.

but there is a tiny light at end of the tunnel.

go and seek counselling,maybe c.b.t ask for as you have all us here to off ,load doesnt make you any less of a man for having this illness.#

i treat my fella the same as anyone else.but just with kids gloves some days and lots of t.l.c

good luck and ask for help no shame in it.


Hi to everyone that has replied to my post i do appreciate it i have been diagnosed with fibro by a specialist in 2004 unknown to me i had it way before that but just didnt know at the time it seems to be getting worse i was on 5 different medicines for it but because none of it was working i was told to come off it all apart from painkillers and anti inflamitres even tho they dont do much good either ive got physio also but no hands on so far just chat and ive to see a physcologist also i apologise if my spelling is wrong on these i cant help feeling useless tho all my life ive been a mans man tho paying my way working hard going hols etc etc now ive been told i am not unfit enough to earn esa so now i have no income at all which means i cant live off my partner who i live with and the best thing i can do is go homeless to get money its as if the goverment dont have a clue how i feel even tho my doctor my phsyio and pain specialist say i am unfit to work once again i thank you all for your posts and comments its nice to know people care and i am not the only one suffering .


No wonder your depressed considering you can't sleep!! First thing to do is see doc and get sleep remedy - I take 50mgs Amytriptoline each night and it really helps.

Remember too - Fibro is horrid - but it's not terminal so focus on trying to find a

coping mechanism. There is still lots of things you can do - so dig deep - and remember that there are lots of folk who have this illness and know how you feel.

Here's a hug



Hello and welcome Oya! (hope you don't mind the shortened version lol!) We all understand how you feel, we all feel the same. It doesn't matter what gender you are, Fibro hits us the same and has the same impact on our lives. It's a real shock isn't it.

Take a look through the Questions, Blogs and Tags, there is a wealth of information there, personal experiences, advice, support and friendship too. Any worries or concerns please ask, we are only too happy to help.

When you see your Doctor, take your girlfriend with you so she gets used to the whole Fibro issue. Hopefully by involving her, she will understand how you are affected and this will hopefully help you and your relationship with her.

Don't feel bad about not being able to work, it isn't your fault. Fibro is a very debilitating condition, many of us can't work, some work and struggle, others find they are able to. We are all different at the end of the day and Fibro can affect us all differently so don't judge yourself with someone else, your symptoms may be different and more intense. It varies so much.

It's good to have you with us Oya, take care and make yourself at home here with us all. :)


If its any help you are not a fella alone. there are quite a few of us in the same boat and on this site. I know how frustrating it is to not be able to do thing but with a bit of thought and not pushing yourself you should be able to a bit and rest a bit. Personally I cannot take anti-inflammatries and find two paracetamol help me to cope better if I have made my mind up that I want to do something. The only other medicine I take is amitriptyline 75mg at night ( the pain clinic put me on that dose) which gives me a reasonable nights sleep and I am not so stiff in the morning and my muscles don't hurt so much. What works for one peson doesn't necessarily work for another with fibro, but be assured we all you feel.


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