I'm beginning to question myself...

[Flips]

Morning all.

I've been questioning my self lately. I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago with Fibro/ME/soft tissue rheumatism. Lately (after coming through a particularly bad patch and spending most time in bed) to having energy! My IBS has been awful lately too. I have underactive thyroid and spondilosis too as well as some other problems. Anyway, why am I questioning myself? Because, I have like I said had a particularly bad patch and was becoming more and more depressed. Lately I have found some energy from within and im pushing pain to one side! I bought myself a second hand bike. I call it my wheelchair. Granted I can't ride it uphill but it does give me something to lean on

I'm so terrified of becoming disabled that I find myself fighting fibro at every corner. I always loved cycling and walking, but walking is very painful. It plays havoc with my hips and spine.

I wouldn't say im unfit, well I wasn't! And having been active in the past I think it helps. My bike is great for walking the dogs as they like a good run and its a great feeling of moving fast with very little effort!

But now im questioning myself. Even though after even a short ride I come home and sleep for hours and can't possibly tackle anything without my cocktail of painkillers, im wondering, would I be ok going back to work?

I know im a ticking time bomb and the next flare up is waiting in the wings, but despite still having all the pain and symptoms that go with fibro and my other complaints, im determined not to go down hill too fast. I'm only 43 and my life has changed dramatically. I have always lived like a 20 something year old till this came along. The more I tried to stay youthful the worse it hit me. Now im trying to reclaim SOME kind of freedom again. Am I really that bad if I can ride a bike? Like I said its easier than walking even my physician agreed.

I went to an ATOS assessment recently when I was particularly bad and still score 0 points. Apart from pain, my worst enemy is fatigue, but ATOS don't take that as a disability.

[lighterlife]

i am the same and have the same conditoins..plus others....And would love to go back to work.... walking standing to long and sitting would be a night mare,,,,,so I not sure won,t sort of job would be suitable for people like us...and if any employer would take us on ....

But it would be intesting to see what other say about it... so this is a good subject you have brought up.....

gentle hugs Debbie xxx

[julieevh]

Flips I hope you don't mind me saying but I think you are in a boom or bust cycle. Bust and you are in bed, boom and you are looking at returning to your old life. I recognise it because I have to fight against it myself.

You are actually a lot better off relaxing and taking it easy during the boom periods as you wont get so exhausted when the bust period comes along and you can't get out of bed - at least you will be able to be up for part of the day.

I have CFS, Fibro and underactive thyroid (plus others) so I really do empathise with what you are going through.

Have you thought about getting a mobility scooter and using that on the days when the cycle riding is just too much? You seem to have the need for speed lol, 4mph is better than nothing, some go 8mph! Ohh what an exciting life we live

((((( gentle hugs ))))

Julie xx

[Flips]

Lol Julie! Your so right!! Yeh many many times I've looked at people on mobility scooters n thought "oh I should get one" make it so much easier to walk my dogs on days I can't even walk round the house! But I think id feel embarrassed. Even tho being on my bike can be excruciating sometimes, I hate to think people would see me in one. My mum is the same, she even struggles with a walker and would have been better off years ago of having her foot amputated, she can't accept she is disabled either.

I so agree with the bust and boom. I love my out doors. I love been active and im hoping that by keeping myself going im giving Fibro the slip, however I also think im kidding myself as in the long run it WILL win

[irisjoy]

Hi Flips as my brother who is paralysed from the chest down says " i am not disabled ijust do things differently " I have looked at battery powered bikes but have found them quite heavy but to be honest i quite fancy being an eccentric on a tricycle ha ha x