Happy or a bit sad - I'm not quite sure....

[Sarahsyndrome]

I've worked full time for many years despite arthritis, fibro, B12 deficiency, sciatica etc, but have finally reached a point where that is no longer possible. I'm constantly in pain and exhausted - trouble is, being a bit of a perfectionist, I've always pushed myself to work harder and longer. I stopped working as a solicitor due to illness (and unpleasant employers, but that's another story) and when I felt recovered (or as much I can be recovered) I began working for my local hospice as legacy officer (where my legal knowledge is extremely helpful) and with the added challenge of raising funds in memory of patients who have sadly died.

The hospice has been absolutely fantastic - I had been honest with them from the start, so that they knew about my illnesses. They have been really accommodating and have helped me with flexible working hours, purchased a special chair tailor made for me, and a special split keyboard which helps my hands.

I've finally had to admit defeat though, I'm in a period of flare in which arthritic, sciatic and fibro pain have been going on for well over a year with no respite, and no medication is touching it.

Previous employers would simply have got rid of me as a liability, but the hospice has been incredible, working alongside me to help. I've now had to admit that I can no longer work full time, and instead of sacking me because I'm no longer up to handling the full time role, the hospice have agreed to employ someone else to do the in memory fundraising role and to allow me to go part time (mondays and fridays) to continue with the legacy officer role.

On one hand I'm relieved and on the other I'm sad that I can't do all the things I used to, but I'm at least able to continue working in a job which I love, with wonderful people around me, and who know's I might actually feel better for being able to rest and recuperate during my days off?

Sorry that's a bit long winded, but I just wanted to share my thoughts - one minute it's the end of the world, and the next, it's a new beginning....

[rainbowdancer]

I do feel for you . I had to give up my shop and healing centre because of the same problems. It took me quite a while to accept it and I guess I still fight against things I can no longer do.

The hardest one at this moment is that I cannot drive as my right leg feels so heavy and I have to concentrate to lift it up ,through the pain barrier.so not able to use the brake quick enough. I do hope it is only a little while before I can drive again. I am doing physio but not sure as never had siatica before .

Good luck to you and what a brilliant job you are doing and I am so glad the Hospice is so understanding for you. We need more people like them around dont we.

Gentle hugs

Rainbowdancer x

[Dixiesdaughter]

Hi sarah I can really empatise with your mixed emotions, on one hand your over joyed to still be able to maintain a job which i'm sure you have trained and studied hard for ( even partime) and on the other your mourning the career girl you were in your pre fibro days when 40hrs was the norm and as we say in belfast wee buns (easy to manage)

God bless the management of the hospice if only all 'disabled' workers had such an understanding empathectic team behind them then maybe more people living with disabling or dehibilitating health conditions could find a place in the workforce.

Dont apologise for sharing your feelings thats exactly what this site was set up for. I hope you can come to terms with the changes life has dealt you and see and feel the benefits a change in the pace in life has to offer. Its a chance to stop nd smell the roses, i hope yours have a wonderful scent

dixie xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry to hear of your plight which is mirrowed thruought this meeing place of like minds and bodies, it's sad isint it, I'm really sad I'm too ill to work anymore myself, it gave me such a tremendous feel of accomplishment, which I guess I'm searching for everyday, hope we all find it, and can hold onto it, best of luck and hope you enjoy your part-time work, you're lucky to have it, gentle hugs Claire xxxxx

[Hidden]

sorry for my spelling I'm having bother with my keyboard because of my fibro, which I know we all are, xxx, meeting place I meant to say and mirorred (i think)

[getactive]

Hi Sarah Sorry for your plight but it must be so good to have understanding employers. Hopefully working part time will give you the best of both worlds. I was a nursery nurse in a childrens centre and I miss it so much especially the children who brought a smile to my face every day. Hopefully one day I will come to terms with it. I really hope that things work out for you take care Sue xx

[Sarahsyndrome]

Thank you all It makes me feel better knowing that there are people out there who really understand the problems caused by this illness xx

[LeonieJ]

Fully empathise with you Sarah I am still working fulltime as a Nursing Sister and dont know how much longer I can manage it, lucky for me at the moment I seem to be in a slight remmission I say slight because I am working mostly late shifts which help me as I dont have to force my body to rush and get ready for work in the early hours of the morning that used to be hell on earth and I really did become quite ill with it. It helps when employers have stratergies in place to help people who are struggling thank god I work for a Health Trust that does is all I can say,but nevertheless I have to be careful how I manage my work load, its difficult on a very busy medical ward. I have to say I wont take the opiod painkillers because of the side effects,I manage pain by paracetamol and Brufen tho go careful with the Brufen, and when really desperate go on a course of Prednisalone which really does help me. Its nice to know that you are working in an environment that has supported you to some extent, but I know what you are going though for I know at some point in the near future I have to make some difficult/important decisions myself