Relationships and Fibro....

[molkosmissus]

Hey,

So my partner and i have been arguing lots recently, part of the reason is that he sais i wake up sore every day and i'm always sore and it's hard to see me like that....this has made me quite angry as he NEVER asks me just assumes I am sore...also, IF I AM sore, It's way harder on ME than on HIM...he is makin my illness the third person in our relationship...it may mean we cnt be together :S

does anyone else have any stories to share? I feel kinda alone in this...like my illness is the cause of our relationship probs...we have bin together 17 months, we did live together, kept arguing, now we do not, it has helped but...yeh.

x

[Hidden]

So sorry ot hear your story. Yes, I can sympathise. The fibro has caused problems in my relationship. I was diagnosed 5 yrs ago, and I still don't think my OH really understands the illness. Having said that, I'm not sure I always do either. The thing is, he uses it as an excuse not to deal with issues. If I am upset or angry about something, it's the illness causing my emotions, not his behaviour! So he doesn't have to change, just 'understand that it's not my fault, it's my illness!' And he does get fed up at times - which I totally understand, but then he feels guilty about feeling fed up, and that's another whole vicious circle! Our marriage was over a couple of months ago, but now we are in counselling, and maybe getting back on track.

This illness is hard for us sufferers, but it's also hard for our families and friends, and it challenges us to find new ways of relating. And this is not something we or our partners signed up for - it's been given to us without any choice. So of course its tough!

Good Luck, and I hope you find a way through it all.

xx

[Hidden]

I could write a book about my life spiralling out of control in the last few yrs. I married at 18 in 1975, was diagnosed infertifle in 1981, so we thought no kids, I had a stillbirth 1982, was completly devasted, but my marriage was so strong, We later went to have 5 children, again our marriage so strong, its was so hard bringing them up, I had no outside help, hubby worked abour 80hrs a week. We had a great life, lovely house foriegn hols, still a very strong marriage.

After my youngest was born in 1998 I could really pin point what was wrong with me, heart problems after an emergency c section, and just could get back on my feet like I should of,still a very strong marriage, which all of our friends envied

Then 3 yrs ago, literally bang this illness hit, my marriage crumbled, my hubby started drinking and had a breakdown, our marriage was in tatter.Where before we were his world he withdrew from us, all because he couldnt cope with me being so ill, He was terried, I quickly became very ill could hardly walk

I just couldnt reach him, so early last yr I filed for divorce, both my kids AND i HAD HAD ENOUGH, HIS DRINKING WAS OUT OF HAND HE WAS AGGRESIVE.We told him he d have to leave. £ times he was taken from the house by police for being drunk, the last time I reported him for drinking and driving, I told him it was me.

Well to cut a long story short, he got his act together , he started his own business, and the marriage hopefully will get strong again. He was grieving for his wife, the me that wasnt there anymore and is never going to be.he was terried of losing me, so cut himself off, when I most needed him

[Hidden]

hi there i just watched a u tube vid called fibromyagia how i feel and have forwarded it to a few people that are fond of me some of them have come bck and said they understand it better nwo. with my husband i did not understand the illness thought i was going mad so four years ago i ran after 44 years of marrige i ran and destroyed the man i love. i think of him every second out therein africa alone..... you have to try and show him how to deal with you and that you havent gone will not die and love him.

lally such a touchin story it broke my heart and showed me up for the weak woman i am loves youboth petal

[molkosmissus]

He has his own issues...he cant communicate, gets very angry when he cnt (wich is always) he has recognised he needs help and will see him GP on Fri...im just so unsure

thanks for all the comments peoples....*sigh* x

[Hidden]

it took every ounce of strength I had to save my maiiage, but I was damned if I was going to lose the man I love and have loved for nearly 40yrs, hes my best friend hes the one whos held my hand trough all the rough times, we wanted for nthing every penny was for his family, the kids wanted for nothing, he didnt have a good childhood and he too finds it hard to communicate, my old gp was bloody useless, so I foung councelling through the help of the police, they in turn got me the help I needed,

it no picinic now, but he understands better.I have a personel assistant satarting soon, which he s accepted

Get all the help he needs dont throw love away

[rosylyn]

my 3 and half year relationship has gone down the drain. ex partner said cant cope with illness and weight grain due to meds. don't know if i want another relationship now.

[molkosmissus in reply to rosylyn]

I understand this...i finally had the strenght to end it with my BF yesterday...already feel WAY better...he is taking it realy bad tho, being really nasty etc...idiot. how are you coping? feeling better about it? nah ....we need to be in a relationship with ourselves...anyone else who is lucky enough to be involve with us...is just that..lucky! x