It can all fall down!

hi this is marie again, today has been a nightmare, my family dont need me anymore because i cant do the jobs i use to, pick up dads medication, wait in for a delivery, go to appointmants with mum, cant go shopping with my brother who is in the RAF and lives abroad, today for the first time in a long time my life just fell apart around me and i was inconsolable. I have had fibro since i was 7 and my other RA, ME, HMS ect.. came on me along the way, more so when i had my youngest child who is 4 yrs old now, i lost 4 pints of blood during a c/section and that was a downward spiral, i did manage until she hit 8 months and now i just sleep for britain, have pain every day, so today i'm feeling i wasnt the same mum to my Evie-Rose as i was to jack 13, olivia 11, and Isabelle 6. i had no energy............does anybody feel that being like we are pushes people away or am i going crazy? i have cried that much my eyes look like golf balls....lol what a rollercoaster ride today has been!!

I do hope someone out there has a similar problem, my dad says go get that doctor to give you a better med and sort you out co's your missing out on your kids.....NEVER!!!! i feel bad enough anyone else? :-(

2 Replies

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  • oh sweetheart I know just how you feel, I got 5 kids and was always a hands on mum to the oldest 4 running around, practising karate with them, they had loads of friends for tea and sleepovers, but my youngest Olivia knows a different mum, for the first 10 of her life I was super mum we did everthing together, but 3 plus yrs ago everything come crashing down, my life as I knew it started to unravel,

    Oh the guilt I feel is indesribable, but it took a lady from barnardos to show me I can still be a good mum to Olivia albeit a different type, shes now a young carer, which breaks my heart.

    Ive been told I wont get better, so this is it for life, Im trying so hard to keep going, and Olivia is a gem, we have a laugh at what this illness has done to me, the only way we can cope is with humour

    I hope you can find a way to deal with it also, your still needed as a mum, try and get some help from social services they can put you in touch with all kinds of help, if you need to pm me at any time Ill give you a few pointers, good luck and lots of love

    Pauline

  • there is nothing worse that deciding you are a burden to your loved ones. but this is not actually true you have to think differently they know you are ill and when you push them aside as we all do..... it hurts them and stresses them evn more please lean on the love around you and let it recharge your battery of love. petal

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