I am so depressed.: My Dr does not... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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I am so depressed.

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My Dr does not believe me when I tell him I am unable to work. I can't work. My incapacity benefit has been stopped so I can't afford to live.

I have FM and CFS. I haven't recovered properly from my heart bypass and my depression is increasing. I have no energy. I can only sleep.

God knows if I could work I would. I have a teaching cert, 20 yrs experience of mental health work, and I am an artist. I would love to work.

Why would I try and get out of it ?

It saddens me that the DSS and my GP will not listen to me and will not take into account what my Fibromyalgia specialist professor has diagnosed.

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25 Replies
glochessum profile image
glochessum

I really feel for you. I haven't worked for over 8 years because of depression which has now been diagnosed as FM and CFS. I have the forms here to fill in but think is it worth the hassle? We could certainly do with the extra income as things are very tight moneywise. I just don't think I could do with the stress of it all.

jingles profile image
jingles

u need to change your dr if they arnt listening to u, keep pushing untill u do get the help u need,ive had fm for 18 years and tryed everything untill recently,last year i had a muscle spasem that paralized my neck and arm for 3 months but my new dr put me on new medication and now i can actually move with less pain and hardly no depression

beth2 profile image
beth2

hello charles i am so sorry that you are feeling so low but i also think like jingles does you need to change your dr there is a website that you might beable to get help from but i cannot remember the name take care love beth2

Suzyindahouse profile image
Suzyindahouse

I am sorry to hear that you are in this very upsetting position and know how hard it is to get over a heart bypass as my husband has had a terrible time trying to get over his but to be doing it with FMS and CFS as well must be making it so much harder again. I agree with the other people and think you need to change your doctor as it may just be him being difficult and awkward because he may be a doctor who is reluctant to accept the diagnosis. If you have been under a Fibromyalgia specialist then it is ridiculous that he is not accepting. I would love to hear how you get on if you do try a different gp. Good luck with it .... love suzy

demand a referral to one of the good fibro doctors like prof davis at guys from your GP, tell gp to use the click and book system which is in operation. Guys is running a dedicated clinic for the condition under prof davis. it is your legal right to demand referral to a specialist in your condition.

there is no doubt a good doctors report and correct treatment makes all the difference. also because of our ibs i believe biochemist tests need to be conducted so it can be ascertained what nutrients are lacking in your system.

then you can focus on necessary treatment and supplements. again demand your GP refer you to the London Royal for this. i personally use dr myhill as her tests show results and her supplements and guide help me.

i have to go now due to guys hospital appointment this morning but will come back on to talk further and see how your doing.

ps my family really got me down this weekend so i would just end by saying don;t let anyone who does not understand or says inappropriate stuff get to you. mine seem to think i am still the matriarch of the family as both are parents are dead and because i did have a good job, they keep bringing their problems including financial ones to me. i then watch eastenders and sad to say but ian beales portrayal of breakdown just broke my heart. sad i know!!

hope everyone rallys and helps bring you up. don;t forget to look at fibroaction re dds or ask lyndsey and team for advice on fibro blog.

((hugs from me))

Bev95 profile image
Bev95

I think you definitely need to change your GP and you can also challenge the DWP over stopping your benefits you must take this to a tribunal..Your specialist obviously knows your problem and they may be able to help put your case forward..but your GP sounds useless and not very sympathetic..You can also get some advice from the CAB they may be able to help you fight the decision you may be able to overturn the decision and get your benefits reinstated plus any that is owing to you... I hope you get some help soon as this really is not helping your health problems at all.

Hugs Bev xx

lizzylomas profile image
lizzylomas

Morning Charles,

You are not alone ! So many genuine people are in the same boat now so do only one thing

WALK INTO ANOTHER SURGERY AND ASK TO GO ON THEIR BOOKS.

Please please do this and let us all know how you go on.

Eule profile image
Eule

Hi Charles

I know exactly how you feel, I had a brilliant job before FMS & CFS stuck me down and I lost the best part of 2 thirds of my salary. I have finally after 4 years managed to get my fiances in some sort of order and have now had my EFS stopped. There goes another £400, I would just like to know how the government think we can survive on pennies. Fortunately I have a brilliant GP who tries her best with referrals to specialist as well as writing a letter for me to send off explaining why I can't work. I use the CAB to help me with forms and such matters. But I think every one else it right the first thing you need to do is change your GB. I know all of this is hard when you are depressed as all you want to do is crawl under the duvet and hide from the world. But please contact the CAB on one of your better days, they do help and are a pretty nice bunch of people.

Wishing you all the best and sending you a huge gentle hug.

Fell better hun XXXXX

Thanks everyone for your advice and support. It has been very helpful. I will ask to see another Dr at my next appointment ( We only have the one surgery here as we're out in the sticks) and also get a follow up appointment with a fibro' specialist at the hospital. (The one I saw a few months ago has retired now). I feel more positive about how to proceed now thanks to every ones help. Thanks again Hugs x Charles.

Suzyindahouse profile image
Suzyindahouse

Charles I just thought. I assume that because your gp does not appreciate how ill you are feeling that he is not signing you off on the sick now so your incapacity benefit would have been stopped because of that. Am I correct in assuming this or right off track? One thing is for sure like I said before and so has so many others you need to be going to a different gp and if you feel uncomfortable doing that in the practise you are currently a patient at then go to another surgery and ask to be signed on. I did change my doctor when I moved as the first one at the practice was just not for me and wound me up on the first visit by telling me he could cure my diabetes before he even knew anything about me. Next time I went I saw the lady gp and told her that I felt that I was more comfortable with her and she said no problem at all I will accept you on my list and just go and see the desk with your card and that was it done. I had been in a similar situation in the past and never ever changed doctors because I thought it would cause conflict and now wish I had done it years ago and maybe I would have had my fibro diagnosed years before like it should have been. I also think that you may need help from the Mental Health team yourself even though I know you have been working for a lot of years in mental health and a different gp may recognise that you need to talk and sort some stuff out but ask for a referral anyway. I am sure you know the score on that one but it is hard accepting that you are in the need of help yourself. xxx

Sassi profile image
Sassi

Hi charles, please change your GP. No-one deserves to be treated badly when they have paid into the NHS for all their working lives. I get very cross when someone like this causes even more unnecessary suffering. So throw him on the rubbish pile.

I also agree with the last comment concerning mental health support. I struggled and struggled with depression and eventually gave in and asked for help. I read that some forms of therapy are as effective - if not more so - than medication.

I did try the medication but it just made matters much worse in terms of fibro fog, and there were the rashes and the nausea too !

So I waited for some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. And it has helped enormously, if only because I get out of the house and talk to another sympathetic human being for an hour or so every now and again.The support has been really helpful. Even more so when the guy I see has MS and self hypnotises himself to cope with his difficulties.

Am I still depressed? Yes but I can cope better with it. Do I still have fibro and all it's problems? Yes but again I can cope better with it. Do I still look for any and every solution? Yes, but gently.However I have learned to be good to ME ! Sorry for shouting.

Dealing with negative and antagonistic people just saps my energy so I choose not to do it anymore. If someone who should be helping doesn't or comes over all moralistic I clear them out of my life.

Clearly your GP has a problem. Not with you. He has his own problem or maybe several. It is not your problem and you have done nothing wrong. At this time though you simply do not have the time to deal with his problems. You need to find someone to help you. Someone strong enough to help you without putting their baggage onto you. You are the patient and you need help. Let him find his own help to deal with his own problems. He is not a fit GP for you right now.

All of us on here need to take our time for ourselves now and to care for and look after ourselves - f i r s t. If after that you have any time left maybe you could give it to others. It's hard, but it does feel good.

kind hugs to you and yours

sylviajones profile image
sylviajones

i am sorry that you,r gp and dss,don,t care but i went through the same thing and i changed my doctor and he as helped me, i now get esa and life is a little easier.don,t give up.you have a lot to give and alot of life yet,

chezmaniac profile image
chezmaniac

Im sorry charles that you are having such a bad time of it at the moment,i can only agree with the others. It took 4.5years tfor me to get a diagnoses and that was only when i changed drs. My new dr has backed me up against the DWP and written letters and ordered the tests to prove i am really ill.Yes sometimes it doesnt seem worth it fighting the beurocrats but when you win it feels so good. I got help filling in my forms from a local disabled charity to aply for DLA. I still had to go to appeal but when i won low rate care they told me to reapply for the mobility element and they even said to quote them when i applied. Im still awaiting there response. Gaining my DLA and Blue Bagde has made me feel better as if i have achieved something and given me more self confidence.If we give up fighting we are allowing the beurocrats to win and in turn making it harder for others to fight.xxxxx

soulsusie profile image
soulsusie

Charles, my heart goes out to you. When I was first diagnosed with FM, my G.P. signed me off for 6 mths and saw me every month to assess me at the end of the 6 mths another note for a further 6 mths....... always I have had her full support. Things came to a head after 18mths and after regular visits H.R. decided that I was unable to fill the terms of my employment. I had always said that I wanted to return to work, I was a locum Pharmacy Technician, unfortunatley my condition prevented me from doing so. It involved Drivin often long distances working 8+ hours standing for most of the time , which I can no

longer do.

Soft HUgs,

Sue x x x x

Abbeystead profile image
Abbeystead

.Charles feel so sorry for you as I have the same condition as yourself including depression. It doesn't matter what medication I take nothing does me any good,in fact it makes me worse so I just try to get through my own way. Never go out because I feel so dizzy. My ideal would be to stay inbed all day as I feel so tired but I make myself get up. Force myself to do little things arond the house, even though it kills me.Just getting dressed is an effort. Dr is very short tempered with me. Asked for an MRI scan and told him I wanted to see a neurologist. He refused both so I am havin to pay £219 toimorrow to see the neurologist. Want this because my head feels numb and i stumble terribly when I get up and the numbness in my neck and face is getting me down. Didn;t mean to go on like this but know how you feel. Know wonder we're depressed who wouldn;t be. Doesn't matter what tablet I take,painkiller or anti-depressant I take, nothing works. Very lucky I have my husband here.

Had this 26 years now so guess I'm stuck with it. But age is not helping as I'm 75 and he is 76. You could say well you've had your life but in fact I hven't because of this horrible illness.

electricjaws profile image
electricjaws

i know how you feel,,i have just changed g.ps as i went to my regular g.p last year because i was put in work related group and i know i can't work,and she was snotty with me ,she said david blunkett works,(as far as i know he's blind but abled bodied),she said the atos people are specialists and i shouldn't appeal,so i got in touch with my union rep explained all and now i am awaiting for my appeal to be heard which is soon,i have sent lots of evidence from pain specialists and the like,so will hopefully be put in the support group,you don't have to have evidence from your g.p , and as far as i know they don't contact your g.p, don't give up if you are too ill to work,fight the powers that be,you may be able to get e.s.a,go to somewhere like citizens advice or welfare rights, try to find in your area a g.p that is more understanding to your case if poss,then if you can find one ,write a complaint to the practice you are with now and complain about the g.p you have now ,it is very hard i know ,but you have to stick up for your self , because if you don't they win xx soft hugs xxx

madmaria profile image
madmaria

Oh my friend I know its really tough to claim any benifit now I have work for 30years as a hca 7 of those at my local hospital. MY occ health advisor has told me I am un able to work s I tried to claim esa thats a hard job and have been awarded the forst min payment and have then gone for dla they sent my doc a letter she askedme to come in and talk about the form after the session she said I think a DWP doctor should examine you as i cant see that you are eligible for this bennifit well thanks a lot what do i do now. This benefit system seens to help some and not other so pray can they tell me who is going to FEED me clothe me and pay my housing related bills because I cant work I am most upset and angry its making me feel worhless and very depressed

julie51 profile image
julie51

hello charles- please don't get depressed you need to fight this, i know it's hard but please don't let them win, change your gp-take care :) xxx

With you all the way Charles, so painful fighting what feels like the whole world on your own. I won't tell you not to get depressed becaus that would b lik tlling you not to get cancr. You are depressed - deal with it. I don't know where you are but I've accpted all sorts of help from services I woulds never hav dreamd - I've got a befriender. Scus the bad writing become dyslexic on some cancer meds. Like you I'v worked as a professional all my live and am a very arty person - wouldn't go far as to call my self an artist - an artiste perhaps seeing how I do hav a platinum discs - see how we put ourselves down.

Insist on the help you need. Get somebody else to go to the surgery with you is always my tip - a big friends is usually a good idea. GPs are less likly to be dismissive if you take sombody els with you. Also change GP. Try not to worry too much about being kicked off ESA onto JSA. After a few weeks you can claim your condition has got worse - with your new GP hopefully and they have to let you back on. Also onc when I was so dpressed the lovly lady in the job centre that would have got a bonus for kicking me off sent me home with a letter for my GP and contacted DWP on my bhalf! Not evrybody out there is bad.

Wouldn't bliev I'v got two dgrees and an MSc woul dyou?

Whippt x

Tatty53 profile image
Tatty53

Get a friend - an honest, real one - to support you while you change your GP. The trouble is, when you're so low and beaten up it's hard to see the wood for the trees or find the energy to go out and fight the good fight. You deserve better. Find something small you can do - even if it's to paint a small bleak picture to communicate some of your pain - then auction it on ebay. Use the money - even if it's 99p - for another paintbrush. Rebuild your joy in tiny steps. I dont mean to make it sound easy. I do know. Much love to you.

Plumcake profile image
Plumcake

I am sorry for you. I had a lousy GP and was gong to make an official complaint as he lied about my abilities on the report for DLA in May 2010.

I had a job to change my GP as they won't take you unless you are in their catchment area, but I have gone back to the previous surgery I used in our village and saw the GP they allocated. Pretty useless, but luckily they have a new GP which I have been seeing and he is much more understanding. I wish I had been with him when I applied for DLA recently, maybe I would have got it back.

It may help you keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings to write down when you are in bed at night. I used to do that and when I looked back through it, found that I had improved from the scrawl and moans I used to write down.

Best wishes love and hugs Plumcake x

WEEme profile image
WEEme

Hi Charles, so sorry to read your blog, I too would speak to another GP like suggested by so much others. I too live in a rural area so miles to other GP's, sending hope and hugs that you get the right help needed. x V x

Thank you again everyone for your help and support. I intend to follow the advice you have given. It means a lot to have such caring and supporting friends. Big hugs to you all. x Charles

Sammicat15 profile image
Sammicat15

My heart goes out to you for being placed in such an insidious situation. Goodness knows it seems to be a recurring theme for members of this site, let alone all those folks who haven't yet found forums like this.

There's been lots of good advice and supportive comments in here, and I totally agree you should ask to transfer to another doctor within the practice. I had to the same when I relocated. The first GP I encountered here dealt with me very abruptly and left me hanging in pain until my medical notes arrived from my previous surgery. My new specialist had some fresh ideas which the second GP took on board and consequently tweaked my cocktail of drugs.

I would also urge you to contact your fibro specialist's office and ask to speak to him, either on the phone or in person. Getting the specialist onside should help and give you some clout when applying for ESA again, and at least fighting the decision with an appeal. I wish the Govt would realise that pushing incapacitated people onto JSA is counterproductive.

I've been unable to work for 18 months and am about to be chucked off ESA as the Govt's new 12 month deadline hits. I've battled depression, anxiety, FM & RA for 15 years, and have come to the brink several times when I felt I couldn't take any more. Only the love and support of my new partner has kept me going. I couldn't imagine battling this thing on my own.

So please keep posting in here. Try some of the ideas suggested. Keep us posted as you go along. You could perhaps apply for a crisis loan to tide you over.

Take care and sending you hugs,

Sammi

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Mdaisy

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