Help - Hi everyone out there well its over 8 months since I was on this site and felt that I needed help and support. I think I have done really well I have kept at work admittedly only 18.5 hours a week but I am 66 so think that really is enough. I have not been off sick since March (apart from when I got knocked over by a cycle and had concussion for a couple of days). However I think I am at my lowest ebb today - the last 8 months haven't been easy I really suffer from terrible pain on a daily basis but I get over this by resting on my days off and having early nights but sometimes not sleeping at all for the pain. I went into work this week as normal and part of my job is to attend and minute evening meetings. We have just had a new member of staff join us, I am 39 years her senior, but she can't cope with the work. I was told on Friday afternoon that I would be covering one of her evening meetings ( I already do 3 per month plus 5 daytime meetings and all the additional daily admin work. I sent a text to my job share colleague to tell her we have been asked to do this additional work rather than her go into work not knowing anything on Monday. She tells me that she had already been told. I just feel everyone knows what is happening before I am consulted. I am worried that I am being paranoid but this isn't the first occasion. I used to love work but feel like they want me out. I have said I will retire in May 2018 but we really need the money as my husband is disabled and on very little money. I have an appointment with my gp on Monday but do I tell him everything - I broke down this afternoon and was hysterical, I feel I am cracking up. My sister took an overdose last month and I supported her, as I said my husband has various health conditions and I try to copy with that and his mood swings. Just feel I can't cope anymore. I haven't slept for 3 nights so everything obviously seems worse but what do I do? Talk to work - go off sick - take another way out!!! I feel so helpless and the pain is unbearable. I think I am my own worst enemy as I pretend to be ok all the time when I'm not. Sorry for the outpouring but don't know where else to go.