Dating

I'm so fed up of being single - I have been single for 9 years now, and then getting CFS with fibromyalgia hasn't helped. I find it hard to present myself on any of the internet dating sites as I'm hardly a jet setter wanting to be out travelling or in the country or a mad keen sportsman. The best I can manage is an hour out with the dog and then that's me done for the day full stop. It really gets me down at times. I can sort of deal now with the ' I am a gay' thing, but now I am a gay with a broken down body. I thought this morning that really I'm a 43 year old with the emotional ability of a 4 year old in the body of a 80 year old. Self pity pot stuff I know, and I should be grateful that my health did make some improvement initially after hardly been able to do anything at all. But god it's tough at times! At least I have a few friends who really get what is going on for me with my body.

What experience have others had?

15 Replies

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  • im single 38 year old mum of 2, one has behavioural problems and sleeps about 4 hours a night!!

    been single for 5 years, first 3 years by choice as had got out of an abusive relationship and needed that time for wounds to heal (or fade as dont think they will ever heal)

    i honestly think i will be on my own for ever, i dont think i have enough to offer anyone and i think my baggage will always outweigh my plus points!

    its a lonely life but i dont tell people that, i just smile and say im fine!!

    my recent battle with alopecia knocked the last bit confidence away :-(

  • hi nadine, I just replyed to omegaman and If you read my reply to him and then this I have 3 sons 2 who have bipolar and the youngest with autism

    . Hubby and I used to chat over the web cam as we lived over 300miles apart, my 'baby' would create and cause mayhem. My eldest 2 are 26 and 23, the youngest 11. we met on internet dateing and were maried within a yr, 5yrs on lots of trials and tribulations, constant support to my sons but we have made a life and are happy. Please dont give up because your inner-self shines out and there is hope of finding love out there because people do see past the illness etc;

    Hugs poppy xx

  • thanks poppy keep fingers crossed xx

  • Hi there roger,

    I am in a long term relationship with children, so i am sorry i cant help with the whole being single thing, as we have been together since i was 16.

    I hope you can find someone, i totally understand how hard it could be for you, as i can toattally understand you being done in. I have cfs aswell and its the fatigue that is the real killer for me. I go to bed with the kids and get up with them, my bed is for sleep and i am a right nightmare to live with lol.

    You have made a few a friends already and there will be a load more to come. Who knows there could be someone on here for you (wink wink).

    My sister is gay and i severly dpressed and is a schizophrinic and she has found someone only recently and she goes nowhere, so there is hope out there roger. Good luck and we are all here for you now. :)

    hugs, kel xxxx

  • thank you so much - I feel as if I spend my whole life moaning inside my head. But I also know I have some important things to be thankful for.

    x

  • iv been on my own for ten years now im a mother of 2 and have 3 gorgeous grandad kids it is very lonely on my own but i get out as much as i can on my little mobilty scooter lots of people talk to me but i dont think anyone would want me with fibro/ diabetic/ i miss not having some one special in my life x

  • Hi omegaman, please dont give up I met my husband of 5yrs on the internet, he is also 10yrs my junior (im 47) and at the start I told him what the future could hold for us as a couple as I have 8 disabilitateing conditions and over the last 18mths have become wheelchair bound. He fell in love with me and my health was never an issue for him but I will say although very difficult at times having a positive out look and joining different clubs/groups will open up a whole new world where anything is possible. I do understand truely, all the best wishes and hugs poppy xx

  • Have faith and it will happen when you least expect it

    Special Hugs x x x x x x x

  • Hi Omegaman, I think its great you are able to share this with us. I also am single and at the moment am quite happy with my situation as I wouldn't have the energy to keep up with a relationship. Although there are some times it would be nice to have someone in the house to do a few chores and make me cups of tea on a regular basis!.

    I have heard it said that you find someone when you are not looking so maybe there will be someone waiting for you one day when you are out with your dog. There are lots of dog walkers I know who live alone so you just never know.

    It is tough being alone and having fibro but at least you have this site now and there are so many good people on here that will be friends with you. Not quite the same I know but there is always someone to talk to and share your problems when you are feeling down.

    Keep your chin up and take care, love Angela xx

  • When I became ill in 1996 with ME I was single and worried how my life would progress now that I couldn't work, study, socialise, etc., to meet people. However, I joined the ME Singles Group through the ME Association (unsure if it's still going) and met Mike who has ME too - we wrote to each other to begin with as we lived 200 miles apart. We couldn't have a conventional courtship due to our illness but I went to live with him after only a month and we married four years later. Life is tough with us both being ill but I wouldn't have met him if I hadn't had ME so I'm very grateful as we get on so well.

    Hope you can meet someone too. There are lots of affiliated organisations to the ME organisations through which you can 'meet' people as friends or more and, of course, the internet is fantastic.

    Good luck.

    Karen

  • Hi thanks for sharing your story. Do you have any information about these groups/sites? though I am skeptical of thinking about dating another guy with ME too, but it has worked for you .

    thanks again

    Roger

  • hi you sound areally great guy and believe me when you least expect you will find siomeone who really love syou for you who will take on your fibro and help youthriough it believe me it will happen the more we want something and the more we try finding it is normally when we dont get it but when we think oh well whatever we go out and there it is right in front of our noses and i think thta is what will happen with you

    just try to accept the fibro and yeah you have it you cant change it even if you won the lottery doesnt matter you have it but you ssiad you canm walk your dog for an hour some people would give anything to do that jus focus on what you can do not what you cant or what youused to do as that is when fibro has won and you dont want that so just pace yourself through the day and just think what you wan tor need to do and then just dio what you can it may be worth joining a dating site a reputable one so you can put down exactly what you are looking for but be very careful i know alot of people use them and are successful but make sure you are secure if you meet anyone and just make sure people know where you are at all times so they and you know you are safe there maybe a bloke on here like you i dont know perhaps you could put a blog about what you would like well a friendship to start with you never know the person of your dreams could be a blog away

    anyway iam going as i am not well got a chest infection and been offline for 2 days jus popped on to say hi and bye but will bw back mon/tue so will catch up then take care love to you diddle xxxx

  • hi i was single for a few years and quiet happy going out with friends 1st is good ( i also have 4 children) then i found a real nice man we been married a year but to really honest i do struggle he does not always understand but we been married a year tomorrow ... so long way to go be good to your self and enjoy your friends and try find hobies and interests so you meet new people cose who knows whats round the corner gentle dyslexic hugs

  • Hi omegaman, I have been on my own for about 2 yrs now. Ive been on dating sites and met a few nice people, but nothing special. Then I decided "what the hell are you doing, no one will want to be with you when you dump the Fibro on them". Im even on a disabled dating site coz I thought , at least theyd understand. I havent had much confidence in myself,very low self esteem, and not getting any younger, if you know what I mean!! But Ive been talking to a man for about a week (on a dating site) and I was upfront with him about my Fibro, and he still wanted to meet me. So I met him today. We spent a few hours together and seemed to get on ok.When he left, he gave me a little kiss and said "I'll see you, um...whenever". So I thought that was a polite way of saying "phew, Im glad thats over". But then he txt me and asked if Id like to meet him again. He doesnt know about Fibro but has asked me to tell him more next time. Im not going to build my hopes up because I had come to terms with being alone. It hurt like hell coz I want (adult) cuddles, the same as everyone else, but time will tell.I want to take it slow and "educate" him as much as he can take. If he runs for the hills, then he does, but if not, lucky me!! So theres a chance for everyone. Until your chance comes,and I hope its soon, Im sending lots of huggles to you.x

  • Hi bumblebee

    What is the site you use please

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