why do we wake up at all , as all the pians kill u anyway , but u just want to sleep and not wake up , i do :(...... i hate it

sleep , wake up, sleep wake up , every night is the say never changers , i hate it , i pray when am a sleep to god to take me but he never does why ,,, its the pain i hate so much not feeling like a ballon when u wake up, and all these spots but more like bouls on my neck i hate it , dont shore if it my high blood that do it , but i hate it , i feel un clean sometime as i am a very clean person but it all makes u feel like this , so why do we use's the word hate , i just dont know as dont like the word myself , ooh sod it am still here lol.... .... i have added a pic with my daughter when she was 13 , i was way ok here it wasnt to bad , i could cry so much this pic make's me up set as am not as happy as i was then , they thing is i am a happy go lucky person why does this thing we have take our life over , i want my life the way it was , i love all my kids ,,,,

[Hidden]

hay come on now was then going saw this could not leave pleas edont say such things that litttle girl by your side has her whole lfe in front of her and she wants you to be part of it not go visit a headstone once a week you are alive ok you are in pain we all are but we could be so much worse we could have a terminalillness ???

a friend of mine husband commited suicide last august he left notes for his 6 kids and told them it is what he wanted they are 32 down to 19 they are still devasted by it they cannot get on with their lives it is always there could we have done more / the answer is no he done it he wantwed to do it

what i am saying is that little girl do you want herwhole life ruined thinking it was becaudse of her you done something or because she didnt do enough / i think you know the answer so sorry to go off but i want you to realise thart you have to focus on the things you can do not cant and she loves you whettheryou are walking suitting doesnt matter she wants ou by her side through her life guiding her and deep down thats what you want

you will have your off days we all do believe it or not so do i really bad days we all have thought s but please smile and look att hat beutiful little face next to you lots of love diddle and i want to see lots of smiles in your next blog

xxxxxxx

[kathlaidlaw]

thinking of you inbox if you feel you need to

soft hugs and extra big hug kath

[Butterfly54]

I so agree with diddle ellenmarie,and if you are feeling like this you really do need to speak to your doctor now.Are you seeing your doctor when you have these boils so they can be checked.

You really need to make that appointment today hun and open up to how you feel.

I have had to do this recently and it`s the best thing I`ve done,facing how I felt at letting this thing take over my life.

You have a lovely young girl there who needs her Mum and hopefully other family and friends.

I`m blessed with my friends hun but I lost my child.You are blessed,you just need a good chat with the doctor and the right treatment for how you are feeling.

Love and Hugs Butterfly xxxx

[kimbell]

Hi Ellenmarie - you sound so down today and if you're not getting any sleep and loads of pain on top you will feel like what's it all for. I know for one that I have had many days like that especially when i had no sleep. I don't know what your medication is but it sounds like you need to see your doctor or a pain consultant who deals with fibromyalgia so that they can sort out something that is going to get you some desperately needed good sleep. Please go and see someone.

Also remember your children love you and need you.

Love and hugs, Kimbell xx

[Hidden]

oh my love I know how you feel ,I ve felt like that many many times, its so hard sometimes to face the day ahead, as soon as you open your eyes your in pain, all I can say is get all the help you can, gps, social services, anything and everything that you need to help you, you still can have a good life, perhaps not the same as before, but adapting to this illness can help, wishing you all the love in the world

Pauline

[Ang01]

Aw Ellenmarie, we have all been there but there IS life after fibro!!. I know it sometimes feels like you are greiving for the old you and your old life but somewhere deep inside is the old you, you are just learning to live with a new you. (Hope that makes sense!)

I felt like you just a few months ago but with the right help and medication you will get through it and you will find a new purpose in life. Accept the bad days for what they are and enjoy the good days and make the most of them. Take small steps and dont look at the bigger picture cos thats too overwhelming.

Your daughter is beautiful so that is one good thing that you have to hold on to today. Let tomorrow take care of itself.

I hope you can relay to your GP just how bad you are feeling and get all the help you need. You also have your friends on this site who are all here for you throught the bad days as well as the good. Take care and keep talking to us. Love Angela xx

[Hidden]

hello everyone of u above am so sorry i didnt mean to up set anyone on here its how i have felt and i thought thats wat this site is about to say how u feel , i love my kids my daughter in the pic , how i love her so , i stand by her in everything she is and is doing , she is doing well on her 3year of collage and a job as all my kids work full time , and through every thing they are all doing well , yes i am lucky to have them , thats why i keep how i feel to myself , as i want better for them , am so proud of them and i will get there with them , but i will always keep how i feel to myself as there life mean so much to me , so thatnk u for ur replys and sorry again to the one's i upset ellen smile xxxx