Felling Guilty over spending less active time with my girls aged 13 and 16,

After 10 years with fibro and the last 2 years being the worst ever, i feel so guilty for my girls aged now 13 and 16, cos mum hardly gets further than the school run and tescos, Does anyone else suffer guilt for their children, its really bothering me at the moment, They understand the illness but get confused that mum overall looks ok (except when i have to bum shuffle down the stairs because i cant walk them) and then i feel anger. Your thought would be appreciated. Thank you

4 Replies

  • Hi well my daughters are 19 living at home at work all day and 25 living with partner and my 2 grandsons but i do feel guilty as its my grandsons that miss out i cant ope with both of them at same time its awful and even after having them for hour or two i am washed out so my girls had my best years but i can totally get where you are coming from but then you can do somethings so jus focus on that more and do things in the howe together like baking, play games and stuff its nice let them have a spa day at home you all have hair washed / face packs/nails painted and stuff they will love it you havent always got to go out have you ? also yu could get a dvd to watch make popcorn and eat icecream and stuff they will so enjoy that sort of stuff love to you diddle x

  • my 13 yr old has only known this life for 3 yrs, she very good but gets fed up,shes misses the time she used to spend with me, she has a social worker, whos been great, it allowed her to talk about her fears, Im due to get a wheelchair so hopefully will be able to get out more

  • hiya jojo i can so relate to how u r feeling. I have suffered for about 16 yrs since the birth of my daughter 17 yrs ago and is has got worse over the yrs but i had my son in 2006 and then got so bad i was finally diagnosed in 2008 with fibro so my son was only a toddler and my daughter was doing exams ! then in 2010 i had my gallbladder moved and got even worse resulting in me having to use a crutch to get anywhere. I feel like my daughter now 17 has seen how much worse it has got and really effects her but she trys to be strong (shes been through stuff with her usless father dumping her) but shes had to really help with her brother as well. And my very active 5 yr old son has seen me get worse and doesnt understand properly so can be really resentful and angry. I really struggle with the guilt of not being the way i once was or the way i want to be :( now struggling with less mobility i feel i am letting them down so much omg sorry to sound so dreary i'm not in a good place right now and really struggling just wanted u to know some else truely understands how u feel hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel isnt too far and we will have many more good days than bad xx gentle (((hugs))) to u all xxx

  • My boys are now 17 and 13 and I first showed symptons of fibro when my oldest was only a year an half. I feel guilty and very fustrated especially when one doctor told me that it usually burns out after ten years! I have actually been worse this last few years. every day is a struggle and the kids dont really know me any other way, however I get really sad at the thought that they never saw the person I was. My boys have always known as i think not knowing is worse. i will never die from this and i will be strong and carry on. in all aspects of like we have to find positives to minus out the negatives. let yours be the fact that you have two beautiful, healthy daughters. many women will be healthy but will never feel the joy of having children. hope this helps

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