ohh Pammy I am sorry to hear you are down. hope you feel better soon (((((hugs)))))xxx
Please try not to think like that perhaps you could arrange a nice evening in with your partner order in food /set the table etc as if you were going out have music on to a level that will suit you, and then curl up on sofa with a film and some chocs, or if poss keep music on and have a dance in the living room jus the 2 of you talk about how you met etc and the funny things that have happened in your relationship in he last few years . you will prob end up having a nice time, you take care love to you diddle x
I feel like that all the time too, but recently I have started reading a book called the secret and Im trying to think more positively. I sorta feel like its working don't let this beat you. The comment about having a fun night in seems like a good idea also. Maybe dinner and
a movie some night? Find a happy medium and it will work itself out xx
Hi, so so sorry to hear that you are feeling really down and depressed. This illness would make even the most positve depressed at some stage of their life.
Could you consider doing something together where there are not too many people and the noise level would be low. I know exactly how you feel about noise and too many people, I get mega stressed out, I almost feel like screaming on occassions.
The way I try and deal with it is by not putting myself into situations where I know I could suffer. I started meditating and putting myself first. have you considered taking a more holistic approach to life ( I don't mean by becoming a hippy or anything). Having a different more chilled out life which I appreciate is hard when you are in pain may make things better.
Please don't feel so low as it is awful to hear.
In relation to your friends that don't visit have you tried explaining to them exactly how you feel? They may just think that you don't want them to visit really??? Who knows what goes through other peoples heads. I have lost a few friends as they do not have a clue as to how I feel. To be honest, they are not mates anymore. It is very easy to be reclusive, however that makes you feel worse.
How mobile are you?? Are there any others on here that live near to you that you could meet or are there any support groups nearby?
Let us know how you get on and you know you can rant on here!! xx
hi
i get what your saying but quiet night in or take out with candels are also special so you can work it out if you can drive or have a car try driving somewhere in the country or by the sea ... take a packets snack ....
friends dont understand if you dont tell them and if you can explain to them your half way there try the spoon writing i have seen it on here there is another one called 50p so use the one that sings to you
Hia Pammy, i truly truly understand how you feel it is not nice at all when you were once the 'happy go lucky' and this completely changes your life and what you are able to do day in day out.
If your partner is good enough he will understand!! and just watching a film together and talking and expressing everything does help, dont hold in your emotions express them.
Socialising some times is last thing you want when not feeling it i been going through a bad patch of it myself alaately had invites and i ended up posting on FB please do not invite me out i dont feel up to it,felt i had to expose the way i am what ppl cannot see through a computer screen!
I have started playing silly games and got addicted (something i never ever had an interest in) you be suprised how time shifts itself.
Play a board game, go for a short walk or if drive go for a country drive together.
Got to have a positive thinking and try over come the lows (easier said than done) I go through them and want to curl in a ball and give up, but just say NO not going to let that happen do not give in to it.
Gosh Not had humdidaaas for ever it seems the flicker of flames have been dampened out but life is not all about those things if your relationship is good and strong! which am sure it is.
Has he fully read up on FM. I feel a burden on mine at times because sometimes physically it shows as i am unable to do much and feel i just sit on my back side and believe me that is so not the person i am. I have a very busy life (no choice) not got millions in the bank or be sunning off and relaxing.
As for friends puhhh who needs the ones who do not understand, those that do will be around even if just a phonecall.
One of the other members said about letting them know what your illness is and how it affects your life and why you find it difficult to be happy chirpy.. because that is near impossible when your at a low, faking the smiles just so keeps everyone else happy.
get yourself into something and keep at it a little hobby..i used to do cards (bday, weddings etc) always trying to be creative in some way but cos of my work now i dont have time and plus i have no energy whatsoever when finished! forget housework if not feeling it thats a daily chore..do something a bit more exciting thats therapeutic for you. a little at a time goes a long long way and believe me it is noticed when you do..xxxxx
I can relate to how you feel. I hope you are doing a little better today. I am often so depressed, in a dead end relationship that I want to move out of but can't as we live together and I cant afford rent until I get a job. Keeing a job is another issue with my health probs. Altogether I find I don't see the point in going on either when Im always so sad but I think it helps if you can find something to look forward to.
So I started writing a book, which I hope one day could be published. And that keeps me going everyday. Find something that you could work towards.
You and your guy should sit down and work on places that you could go to and things you could both do that suits you both. I don't think clubs are feasible given our sensitivity to noise levels.
Remember you're not alone as well. I have few friends as well and rarely go out but maybe one day we can all meet up for a social evening.
faery duster, have you spoken to your local council about being housed? With your medical history you might get priority, housing benefits and council tax benefits till you get working. Don't quote me on that but Ssmeone from Social Services might be able to come to your place or meet you somewhere. Don't waste your life when you can enjoy it. Can you look up your local council website?...Pammy I am the same with noise. I once tried foam ear plugs but that didn't work. Picnics are good, and romantic! I find making a specific date with friends works, and I can plan around it, and they don't feel they are butting in.Oh by the way, the Freecycle Network has free stuff for setting up home. We all get really down, but we get through, and you will too. xx
Hope you are feeling better. It's good you feel safe telling us how you feel. I can only say I have felt like that and have friends who have been through similar, and I hope you find a solution. Sometimes it will feel like the solution has found you, but when you look back you'll see it was because you were ready to try a solution. Only you will know when it is best to give any of this advice a go, and the one thing to remember is that when you feel it cannot get anyworse, it leaves a lot of scope for it to get better if you give it a go. Hope you do feel ready to try soon. One little thing I wondered is that you could ask around (on a local forum, maybe) and find a local pub which is no piped music and no swearing. We have one in Sheffield, and they even have board games, and a book share. It's not like going to a pub, or now the weather is changing, a bar with a lovely beer garden where you can get a nice view across a river or something to calm you.
Hope it helps. Please let us know how you are. XGlenys
Hi Pammy - Sorry to hear you're so down I know how you feel me and my partner used to love going to see live bands but hav'nt been in ages due to my condition. It's sooo difficult as people dont understand how this Fibro affects us I used to just go to keep my partner happy but have now realised iits just not worth it because of how you suffer for it and have had to talk to him and explain luckily he's very understanding. Its a good suggestion to have a meal in with a film etc you can still have a lovely evening and now the weathers better and we have light nights how about a nice bbq? You can still enjoy many things try and think of these things instead of the things you cant do, I know its very diffcult sometimes believe me but focussing on the negatives only brings you down.
Hallo Pammy, I hope the recent sunshine (is it sunny where you are?) makes things a bit better. If you can get out in the sun, even if you sit in the shade it will warm you, physically and emotionally. CAB may help you about housing etc, give them a try. I am getting help with my bi-polar condition as I have a therapist through the NHS, my GP refered me. Loads of gentle hugs, Pammy. Hope you feel better, love Ouch Ouch
Really hope you are feeling a little better today, I can so relate to you as not long been in your situation myself so I really feel for you.
I don't go out either hate the bright lights and noise it's so hard when people don't want or try to understand us isn't it? I am lucky that my hubby is very supportive but I know he gets a bit fed up with it at times.
Are there any support groups in your area? How about a trip to the Dr and a chat if it is an amenable one, just keep chatting to us on here as we all know what you are going through.
Sending you a huge ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))) Ruby xx
ph pammy,
i hear what you are saying and really empathize.
i feel exactly as you today. i feel i have lost all that i had. a career, friends, social life, respect, admiration. if it was not for the impact on my children i don;t think i could go on most days. our lives have been turned upside down.
there are few saints walking this earth and its hard for our partners too, they have lost so much others take for granted. it breaks my heart how much this illness has cost not just me, but the loss to my family, i mean my children and my partner. i end up in tears often. i was always the leader, doing stuff with all of them. now i don;t even have the strength to enjoy a day shopping with my 13 year old any more. it is scary for them. if i did not think they would suffer long term, i often think all i now bring them causes them worry, pain and unhappiness. these people i want only the best for are suffering too.
i know i will crawl out of this dark hole from time to time but just when you think you have got a good balance back, the illness jumps up on you and knocks you off your feet. its heart breaking.
i hope you are feeling much better today pammy, things are constantly changing. my husband has booked a nice restaurant with our daughter for tomorrow. if we make it i will be pleased. if not i will look forward to a cuddle from them both.
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don't let this beat you. The comment about having a fun night in seems like a good idea also. Maybe dinner and 
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