Seem to keep saying and doing the wrong things all the time.
My brain doesn’t seem to want to work properly, really struggle to think straight.
Holding back or bursting into tears every five minutes.
Pressure pain making everything uncomfortable and my get up and go has got up and fecked off.
Feeling so down, useless, miserable and unlovable. Seems like I keep causing arguments and bad feelings between my partner and me.
Also trying to find a job as the bills are not going to pay themselves.
Don’t know which way to turn right now, I’m sure I’m driving my OH away.
If things carry on I can see me being on my own. Not good in an area where you don’t know anyone, is miles away from where you used to live and your family has cut all contact.
I’m seriously considering …………
Written by
Gulfstream_Maggie
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I am sorry you are at a point that you feel you have few options left. Remember there are services available like Breathe, Mind or the Samaritans that can give space and a non judgmental voice on the other end of a phone. In the time I have been involved with the charity I have not had a conversation where every option available has been considered.
Some treatments take time, some need the person to be at the right point to accept them, and some are counter intuitive. Mood (Anxiety, Depression and other mental health elements) can greatly impact the way we feel pain. Having low mood not only makes us dwell on the pain but studies show it makes the pain feel worse.
So addressing stress, mood and other environmental factors can provide help to the pain. Please seek some further help from your GP and talk about how you are feeling. Accessing mental health support and potentially antidepressants could help with both mood and your pain.
If you look on the MIND website they have a lot of helpful resources as well.
Omg I thought that I was the only one who has ALL these feelings, can't think straight, can't do anything right, can't get my brain to work. So depressed, and had enough.. I try to think of my grandchildren and how things would effect them should I do anything, please talk to someone, I know that it won't take your situation away, but might just help talking and having a massive cry. Your stronger than uou think.....lots of hugs and kisses..
we understand exactly what you are going through, I am alone and live where for the last 8 years I have been being harassed every day sometimes up to 8 times a day by a gang of neighbours whilst I am inside my own home. so I know where you are coming from. unless they have the condition nobody actually knows what you are going through.
i have for the last few weeks also been having problems with speech, when I go to say the words for some reason I am not saying the first few letters of each word.
there are a lot of books on the market, one of those is the following :-
Take Back Your Life: Find Hope and Freedom from Fibromyalgia Symptoms and Pain
by Tami Stackelhouse and Ginevra Liptan MD | 24 May 2022
4.4 out of 5 stars 266
Paperback
Price, product page£12.67
you can also get it on Kindle, or you local library may be able to get it for you.
it wont make it go away but it could give you ideas you havent thought of that may help.
you can always come on here and have a rant, there are some lovely people on here and they understand exactly what you are saying and going through
You are very brave to put up with what you are getting from the neighbours everyday. Had you thought of secretly filming or recording them and then making a formal complaint?
The books sound good. ... I've bought some more 'coping with fibro' books but not had much time to look at them and work through them and I'm rather too overpowered by the idea of having to co-ordinate a phone call to the opticians, my driver (hubs) and his diary and leaving my cat for any time. My hearing aids have packed up too. All the things we never even thought about when younger become difficult with fibro. It's a thief!
Having studied speech and singing at one time it occurs to me that the speech probs you are having could be for a number of reasons. The main one is that breath support when under stress affects the diaphragm and it's muscle support in that area. Even a previous King stammered because he was emotionally bullied by his father. So if people are being verbally aggressive towards you it's very natural to hold back speech, as a potential punch in the middle of the body will do less damage if the muscle around it is tensed up. Pure subconscious instinct is still in our secret behavioural handbag for emergencies. - To work on the diaphragm muscles gentle press ups against the edge of the kitchen sink work for me reasonably well. - Be patient with yourself and take a a couple of breaths before you speak. Quite possibly a 'Stop!' verbal message with a flat hand physical gesture held up to counter it might work a couple of times and take them by surprise. Breath well. You deserve it. KJ
the police have been involved for the last 7 years they are not interested. I have copies of emails that 4 of them sent to the police about me with so-called incidents, they include things that would mean that I would have to be able to see through 3 solid brick walls, 5 solid brick walls and I would also have to be psychic, the police have even ignored these, they have over the last 3 days totally destroyed a hedge which is totally on my property, I had my car attacked whilst it was parked on my drive between October 2018 and february 2019, letting tyres down, aerial snapped off roof, door mirror forced back against body of car. throughout lockdown their entertainment was to call the police on 4 different occasions and make false accusations about me to them. they put up cameras and were filming inside my house, they have involved other people who don't even live here, at the moment we are up to 17 people joining in. they have spread malicious slander about me to all residents in the cul-de-sac and stirred up that much hatred against me. I have been a prisoner in my own home for the last 8 years. how old do you think these people are? I will tell you, the youngest is about 55 and the eldest is about 73, 4 of these are deranged, deluded and psychotic, nobody had done anything about them.
Hell's teeth, Catherine! This is awful! Have you tried your MP?(Luck of the draw if you get a good one, but they can help.) I don't suppose you want to move somewhere else and why should you, but it all sounds very unpleasant. Being me, I'd have been off in the old days . I would never be strong enough to cope with something like that. - Do you ever get to go away on holiday? Sounds like you need one and/or someone locally to befriend you. Do you belong to any kind of outside group where you live? This is something you could take to the Samaritans too, or the local Church might have a good listener there perhaps and they might even know some of your neighbours. - Glad to hear you can still drive anyway. Having freedom to get out is a good thing. Will work allow you a break to get away for some peace? Sounds like you really need it. Best wishes for this week, month, year. I hope things change for the better soon. 🌞
i cant go very far due to not being able to walk very far and I also fall and cant get up. I did approach my mp, totally useless his office said that he doesn't get involved in 'neighbour disputes'
i had to give up my job in 2008 due to my condition getting so bad, and I live alone
i cant go to groups, my fibromyalgia, severe chronic fatigue (severe since having the COVID vaccine, never had COVID just the vaccine which I had a bad reaction to which left me only being able to do about 10 - 15 minutes a day of 'normal' daily activity) are so bad I have been told by a consultant that I need to rest and that means lie down to rest more, on top of that I have spinal damage, and all the nerves in my neck are completely mangled (due to all the lifting of my mother from the bed to the wheel chair and into and out of the car etc. for 27 years.
i haven't been on holiday since 1992 due to having been a carer for my mother and since her death my condition which has got a lot worse,
they have attacked my cats, I contacted the RSPCA who didn't want to know, one was so badly injured it had to be put down, another had his jaw broken, after one attack and on 3 others 1 of his 'fangs' were knocked out each time. I caught her with the catapult in her hand on the one occasion, and on another she was standing on her drive telling the woman next door to her that she had hit the same cat with a stone from the catapult because it was walking over the woman next doors garden coming back to my house, and she stood there laughing about it. and last year just before Christmas the same cat had to have an eye removed because the family next door to me were throwing stones (possibly from a catapult) at him, another one is now deaf and blind from being attacked, I saw the man who lives with the woman with the catapult come running out of his house the one day down his drive and try to kick this cat into the road, he missed on that occasion, and that cat was walking along the public footpath back to my house, and now they have started on a stray that I feed.
if I move it will cost me at least 10,000+ pounds in costs of estate agents, moving costs stamp duty etc. it took me 6 months to get over the move when I moved here and my condition is a lot worse now.
I have found out since living here that I am the 3rd owner of this house they have done this to. the one man I spoke to who lived here about 18 years ago said that if they don't want you living in the cul-de-sac they will make your life hell until they force you to move, that is what they have been doing to me for the last 8 years.
OMG! I just found out your MP was actually a GP from a family of Doctors. Rather odd that you got no help from him.
I'm not sure it is my place (at this point) to give you any further thoughts about what could ease your situation. Sharing your very stressful story with members here might be a good way to go if you felt up to doing that. They are a crafty, resourceful lot as you will well know, and maybe Des and the team would have more sensible and worldly wise suggestions than I could give that would help create some movement in your situation for the better. (Life certainly needs to improve for you and can with the right supports in place!)
It looks as if there is a Fibro support group in the constituency which you can find on your search engine, or the folks that run this can give you. - (I found it on Google via your MP's constituency.) Such a group will have a better handle on what it is like to live in it and attempt to use the services.
For immediate emotional support though, I would always suggest the Samaritans first. You have been through a lot if grief living where you do. Measures need to be put in place and you need advocates with resources and influence, which they have. (They do not just deal with suicides but other problems too.)
I hope you can find the energy to tackle what you need to but you should not have to tackle things that you have experienced without proper help and understanding of how it all affects you.
I seem to have a sore throat coming on so off to bed soon I hope! I will be watching this space and hoping to hear that someone is finally giving you some proper help. Gentle hugs x KJ
Hello, I am very sorry too read this ,you get too a point when you really do not know what too do next, I take myself away too a quiet space indoors away from my husband so I don’t say the wrong things , can I ask have you seen your doctor or even nurse practioner (I’ve found nurse practioner very helpful too talk )it’s getting perhaps the right medication too help lift you and a change in pain killers, they can be trial and error I know. I am sure your partner knows how much your struggling and it’s horrible for them too see. Have you gone through your change ?that can have such an effect on us women, before and years after, (my experience)pick up the phone and do talk too Samaritans , I did this myself a few years back , it’s letting it all out , 111 out of hours over the weekend can be used, again I’ve done this , just because surgeries are closed weekends does not mean we can’t access the help we need, when you dial 111 there is also a mental health helpline now, sending you my biggest hugs , please take care xx
Samaritans have been suggested by other replies. I will add my voice too. These are people who want to help others because they are caring, truly compassionate people who already understand human suffering. They have lots of resources they can draw on and they pretty much understand all the problems people face in this difficult modern world. The great thing is that you can phone them at night too. - Talking to someone outside will take the pressure off at home and help hubs cope with feeling helpless. - They helped my mum once when she got a B sting in the early hours and a man came out and took her to casualty, where she was diagnosed with an Allergy. No-one there will despise you or give up on you and they will help you find the right help for you. You are worth it! Promise! Soft hugs. x KJ
Maggie, I am so so sorry you are going through all this. I know what is up with you. I could have written this because I am feeling the same way and have gone through very similar situations leading to same emotions. First is getting the pain under control. I know it is extremely hard because everything comes back showing a little abnormal results but not enough to explain the pain. Then going to all the ologist doctors and specialists who then intern send you back to the previous doctor saying “it isn’t in my specialty”. Can’t help but at some point feel like it a hypochondriac which coupled with the pain increases the anxiety and depression. This interns leads to strife in relationships but this isn’t the true reality. You are not a bad person, you deserve to be treated better with respect and understanding by your OH and family. God has not rejected you. Have you ever heard the term “gaslighting”? I hadn’t until my late husband passed away in January of 2022 from covid. My first husband rejected me in divorcing me after he moved us (our 2 young children, himself and I) away from my family to a very cold South Dakota with record snow fall that winter. I thought he was going through a midlife crises but after his second marriage failed is when I learned the truth. It was narcissistic personality disorder rearing its ugly head. So I ended up remarrying a year after my ex remarried on the rebound. I did not recognize how broken I was. The man who I married I thought was a good man turned out to in his words “have an undiagnosed mood disorder”. He was verbally, emotionally and sexually abusive. Enough said about that. I am not ready to enter into another relationship in fear of being hurt again. So that is why I asked you about gaslighting and narcissistic behavior. It takes two to tango (argue). You need to heal. If your significant other isn’t willing to go to couples counseling maybe he just isn’t right for you. My heart goes out to you. Sending love and prayers. Hugs 🤗💕🙏🏼💕🕊️I was just reading the other comments. It sounds like the UK has better mental health hotlines than what I have experienced here with the (can’t say the name of what it is called) but years ago I called and they said they couldn’t help me because I wasn’t a threat to myself and in recent years a text line was set up but when I texted them they closed the case because I was too slow in typing. 😳😢Reach out to the Samaritans sound like they will be of help to you. Self care is vital for good mental health.
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Argument with boyfriend over his snoring and my sleep
So much pain
I’m back 
Me again :(
Feeling so horrible
