Hidden conditions

[Mizzy11]

Hi there, hope everyone is having the best day they can have 🤞. I just want to ask if anyone has any ideas on how to let people know about hidde conditions in public without going into detail etc..eg at the checkout, the cashiers all push you through and because I'm slow I can feel theirs and the people behind me frustration or going up or down stairs. These are just a couple of examples. Is there a badge or anything I an wear to let people know I'm not deliberately being annoying , I am actually disabled 😒 tia xx

[Dinkie]

Google the sunflower lanyard widely seen as the hidden disability signal. Whether it will work or not is another matter. I have car sticker in the back of my car saying “not all disabilities are visible please think before you speak. I was fed up with being challenged about my blue badge, since putting it in I’ve not been accused of not being disabled. I walk with rollator but still folk challenged me.

[Mizzy11 in reply to Dinkie]

Hi Dinkie, thanks for replying. I think the landyard is good for work environment but I agree,don't think the public will know what it is. I will definitely get the car sticker, great idea, thanks for the advice 💜xx

[Dinkie in reply to Mizzy11]

I know airport staff recognise the lanyard but as you say how widespread general knowledge is will be harder to know.

The car sticker is a must have for me. One particularly aggressive man approached me and yelled at me saying "you don't look disabled" I had barely got out of the car. My reply was "and you don't look stupid, so I guess we are both wrong" He didn't quite know how to take it and scrurried off.😂

[Mizzy11 in reply to Dinkie]

Oh thats brilliant, well done you 👏. I'm going to steal your line if that's ok 😜.

[saj01 in reply to Dinkie]

Dinkie...... you've certainly cheered me up! I'm shaking with laughter. xx

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

You can get the sunflower lanyard (although not everyone will know what it is for - especially members of the public)

You could possibly wear a badge that said you have a hidden disability... I'm sure there will be something online if you do a search.... But again - people are unlikely to notice or pay attention.

Personally, i just go at my own speed and if the checkout person or someone behind me thinks I'm too slow - that's there issue not mine

[Mizzy11 in reply to Hazel_Angelstar]

Hi Hazel Angelstar, I agree about the landyard. I will Google for badges . Thanks for the advice 💜xx

[smiile]

I hope the lanyard works for you. I wish I had a blue badge but doubt I’d qualify. My struggle is getting in and out of a normal car space( I’m a size 16) . I worry as some people park SO close and it’s a struggle to get in and out without causing myself a lot of pain. I have to park at the furthest point to stand a chance of not being parked next to, then get back to a gap no wider than my leg!!! ☹️

[Mizzy11 in reply to smiile]

Hi Smiile,I am exactly the same, I haven't applied for a blue badge yet, think I will try anyway and see what they say. I think all councils have a different take on blue badges and it depends on your council bit still worth a try. Thanks smile for replying 💜xx

[saj01]

Hi Mizzy... Just wondering if using a 'walking stick' might help? Preferably not to hit anyone with... but it's certainly a good signal, so they should take notice. Take care x

[Mizzy11 in reply to saj01]

Hi saj01, I do have a walking stick but I find it difficult to hold with the pain in my hands and thumbs and have been having this converswithnmy husband, it's a balancing act to either suffer the pain in my hands or risk of falling, I do use it when trying g to go for an actual walk but not when shopping, so maybe I need to start thinking about taking out, for awareness. Thanks saj01 💜xx

[Holdingbacktheyears in reply to Mizzy11]

Hi I have fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis in my hands, knees etc and have a crushed bone in my back after falling. Like yourself I could do with a walking stick to keep my balance but leaning on it causes more pain in my back and also my hands cannot tolerate holding one. Due to this my condition like yours is hard to detect but causes me to be slow and get flustered at the checkout in fact my husband usually takes over. Although I have found that when I make people aware of my struggle and apologise for holding things up everyone is so kind and helpful to me. I am not ashamed about my disabilities it’s just what it is and those who don’t understand have more problems than I do ; like they say unfortunately it comes to us all.

[hazelcats in reply to saj01]

Am currently on crutches after I tore ligament in my knee... On way back from the hospital it was amazing how people would get out of my way, or let me on the bus first etc. I do find it hard having the hidden disabilities though. We shouldnt need to feel 'judged'but we do.Is a tempting thought to- ahem - "accidentally" stamp on a persons foot at times😂 but you didnt hear that from me...

[Loobielu]

That was an excellent question! Shamefully I didn't know what the sunflower lanyard meant and I used to be a carer 🤦. I will be on the lookout for those now 👍. I think the car sticker is a brilliant idea (I've even seen car stickers that state the owner has fibromyalgia). I absolutely love Dinkies response to that horrible rude man and the walking stick is also a brilliant and clear message. I wonder if we could get away with a partially sighted stick too 🤔, nah that maybe would be frowned upon but I do feel it would help to have something so that those around us would give us a little extra patience when we are out. Best of luck with whatever you choose, hope it helps x

[Mizzy11 in reply to Loobielu]

Hi loobielu, agree, I think something visible would make all the difference. I hate shopping and only do it when I take my 82 year old mother out who has severe sight loss and she is so stubborn and won't use her stick for the blind, it's so frustrating 😑, coz I have to deal with all her stuff at checkouts etc and then mine so it's twice as long 🤦‍♀️....everytime I say to bring the stick she refuses 😖 but i get stressed because i can feel everyone around me getting annoyed. Quite often the cashier will start taking the next person and i will tell them to wait, my mother has vision issues. I just wish i had something, not a major thing, but something like cashiers would recognise right away. I'm going to look into some kind of badge.Thanks for texting 💜xx

[Mizzy11 in reply to Mizzy11]

Btw, I'm not talking about weekly shopping, we both get that online it's just the extra things odd things we need etc xx

[Dinkie]

update on the lanyard - just been to Currys electrical store - big poster in window of the sunflower saying they support invisible disabilities

[Mizzy11 in reply to Dinkie]

Hi Dinkie, that's brilliant 👏, let's hope other organisations do the same 🤞💜xx