Hi haven't posted for a while feel so depressed . The pain no social life and a partner that really doesn't understand .had a back operation done in 2020 for spinal stenosis. Im still in pain now also dignosed with fibro ostioartheritis in my hands and knees. Fed up taking medication Gabapentin 900mg 3 times a day Deloxatin codine paracetmol. Finally got an appointment with my doctor 4th march .
Sorry for the rant just have know one to talk to x
there are times the daily grind of chronic pain just gets to you. I have to say for me even if cold I go outside for a lungful of fresh air. I think with partners it can be tough because some days they don’t get it but also how can they? My hubby and I do red amber and green. So if I say red he knows a lot of pain makes me more drinks and stays quiet Green maybe just maybe a drive out or a sit in garden together just chatting and not about health just life and funny things.
When low I did a self referral to The Wren Project and just being able to rant every 2 weeks really helped me and got a smile back on my face 🥰
Hi shartaylor0264, I’m sorry you’re feeling so low and despondent. Reaching out to this group seems to be a safe place (I’m a newbie and did similar recently); I’d encourage you to do that.
I can only tel you what has worked for me when I’ve felt you are feeling now.
1. Write down the issues you’d like your partner to specifically understand; those that could help you the most in the short term. I found overloading my partner made him fog over with too much information. So I just concentrated on a couple of things that I know would benefit me in the short term (for me, that was “sometimes, I feel the overwhelming need to rest, sometimes at the worst times … like just before making dinner!… explaining that whilst you feel like you do, it helps if they help or understand better, since the opposite of that causes more stress, which in turn turns to feeling worse. I found that explaining little bits about the fibromyalgia to him, helped him understand the bigger picture without overwhelming him).
2. Do something you know makes you feel good; even if that is just having a quiet candle-lit bath, prioritise it and focus on the positivity of it. It’s easy to become overwhelmed with the negativity of pain and stress and hardship; but a half-hour positive focus can be extremely powerful for your mental health. Push yourself to do this and commit to it for that half hour.
3. Look after yourself; choose good nutritious food, drink plenty, take deep breaths in the fresh air. Be mindful. I know it sounds like a cliche but it can be powerful for your mind and body and give it a bit of a push to help you out more!
Good luck… you’re not alone.
X
So good to read your pointers...Thank you x
I'm v depressed after months of being indoors aftr viral pneumonia and even getting dressed is many steps too far...
No friends or social life is soul destroying; it is a terrible downward spiral???
Thank you for reaching out...
So good we can let off a rant here & now and with with people that truly understand daily pains and issues, yes it’s a hard one as people don’t walk in our shoes and differently we may have slightly better days and some we need space and quiet. I am glad you are seeing the doctor , just a shame your having too wait , but if you get any concerns always ring your surgery if things get too much , I take duloxtene , we do keep trying too find ways too help ourselves for sure . Xx
Hi Shartaylor0264Don't be sorry for letting off steam here with a rant. This is a community who gets it. Another day I will need a rant. Its hard when people close can't understand.
Big fibro hug.
Gigi
I'm sorry your feeling so depressed. Living in constant pain can be very hard, especially when you feel know one understands. I to have had spinal surgery and have arthritis. The pain is hard to live with but I know it is also hard for my husband. He does try to understand but obviously not all the time. It effects the whole family. It's only natural to feel low sometimes and to not get on with your partner. I hope you can still get pleasure in the little things in life. I like feeding the birds in my garden. Also I try to force myself to go out for a short walk it sometimes improves my mood slightly. Not always sometimes I could just cry forever but be kind to yourself.
So sorry..my husband dies not care either..after 16yrs of my problems it gies on deaf ears so not akot if compassion..I've laid in bed ill and he hasn't even come up stairs and asked me if i need anything.. i could be laying dead and wouldn't get discovered until he needed something.my family know about this just incase anything does happen to me as they live over 300 miles away..You need to tell your doctor everything.. tell them you need help..get your bloods checked if they will and your blood pressure and hopefully you may get more help..I'm 62 and my docs aren't good i hope you can get a better result.good luck
You definitely need a continuous hug!Wxxx
I totally understand your feelings and how lonely life can feel. However it is worth fighting back and start to look into more support out there and working on your mindsets . I pushed my GP to listen to my mindset and my living with the challenges of pain. He put me forward to the pain clinic which took place weekly by teams meetings .They took me through Pain Management, looked at many things about lifestyle and family and most importantly mindset. After this course I did living with long term illness which again gave me hope to push back and not let go of me. It made me see how others and my family felt living with long term illness.
I research self-help and reviewed all my painkillers because they were working against me . I put a plan together of the changes I was going to walk through. I took myself of painkillers and went through the withdrawal symptoms and used my ten machine and Stretching exercises everyday and warm oils into my muscles throughout the day. None of my actions were easy. However, I felt my focus to get back in control over my body . It's been 7 months now, and I am doing fine. My mental health been improving and my body works slowly, but who cares? I am managing to get through tasks throughout the day. My journey isn't over yet I feel like my mindset has supported my pain levels.
There's so much more to pain and the way it takes over our life. I live with multiple illness like many on here and know that you need to talk to your GP and ask for help but not adding more painkillers. There are many side effects to painkillers which can give you horrible side effects. You are a brave lady trying yo understand how to live with multiple illness and pain. Step back and take control of what is going to work for you and take anything offered. By coming off my painkillers I lost weight which has helped me in my mobility and movement. I brought myself a step watch and track how many I do a day which helps me challenge myself to get up and move. Kick back because you are worth it and your family might understand once you feel better about how to deal with your ongoing problems little steps moving to bigger steps. There will be others you meet in the same Position as you and it helps talking to learn what they do to help themselves. Good luck write down your concerns and talk them through with your GP . Healthy minds are a great help also. I know its hard and there's times you just want to shut yourselve away but make them changes to stop that your way. Big hugs 🫂 🤗 take care
I do understand your scenario and it's so so painful???Viral pneumonia has left me utterly on my knees & despite physical symptoms of illness gone the loneliness of being too weak to be independent is so awful and it doesn't really seem to improve despite occasional short walks (&that's on a better day!)
I hv to keep warm and nowadays I find solace in recorded TV programmes+crosswords to ease the time in pain... I'm back on temporary pain relief as I don't medicate for fibromyalgia! The lack of social interaction is horrendous! I live alone bt see my partner at wkends. He tries to understand but the length of discomfort is difficult 4 him to comprehend... he thinks it will improve by the hour!! Unfortunately that isn't the case and they are dumbfounded that they can't solve the problem!
This condition is very hard for our partners; recently I've felt I should suggest he leaves... It's a horrible ordeal for them too!
I'm so sorry to read you're in the same boat. Come online and chat anytime...
We really do understand here...
Wxx
HiI get your problems
I'm the same and don't take as much as you
300 mg gabapentin 4 x daily co codamol 30/50 2 4 x daily
Plus I have propanolol for panics antidepressants for anxiety plus the rest🙄
I didnt think gabapentin worked until I missed a dose 🙄and then realised it takes the top edge off
My mood is at an all time low and tbh I'm embarrassed to say I can't remember the last time I had a bath
I'm usually just a reader but decided to unload my moans today sorry I can't be more upbeat and wish you all the best xx
so sorry to here this I’ve have pain so I No the feeling.nothink worse then pain.I got lower back both hips.have injections which have only took the pain away for 3 weeks so I’m hopeing they don’t give any more need to take the next step.pain stops your life so that’s what’s makes you so down,I was on gabapentin after few months I stopped it.it never worked and plus longer your on your more to get dementia so I went mad and said don’t give me that.I lost my mom to that.so I don’t take any thing only now cbd oil as it can’t hurt you it’s all pure.hope this help a litty bit.
New here. Feel so low. 
55 and feeling so much older
Been so down and depressed
SO depressed following bug
