Frustration and temper: Does anyone... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Frustration and temper

Ghostielady profile image
26 Replies

Does anyone else find they are not as tolerant as they used to be and find themselves loosing their temper not with just themselves but other people too? I seem to be less tolerant and get very frustrated. I don't know if it is the pain or if I am just turning into a grumpy old woman.

26 Replies
Dizzytwo profile image

Hi there, I see you have been a member for sometime and this is your first post. So let me be the first to wish you a warm welcome to our group. No definitely not a grumpy lady old or other wise. I find intolerants is born out of frustration which normally tends to go hand in hand with a chronic long term illness which fibro is. I am presuming you do have fibro as you have not said. And not all our members have fibro.

So if my feelings are anything to go by then I would say how you feel is quite normal. In case you did not know you can lock your post to this community only. It is not a rule to lock a post but the option is there if you wish to do so. Take care and stay warm.


Ghostielady profile image
Ghostielady in reply to Dizzytwo

Thank you so much, yes I am a bit of a silent member. And yes, I do have fibro also have Primary Billary Cholangitis, type 2 diabetes, RA, high blood pressure and asthma. I will look into locking to this community. Thanks again.

Bacaloca profile image

I often feel I am not as tolerant as I was a few years ago, I put it down to pain, age, the weather or just about anything I can think of at the time. It is usually the pain though, more so at this time of year when it is cold and damp, it makes me want to stay home, stay in bed and only venture as far as the loo or the kitchen. So no it's definitely not just you, I bet there are dozens of us even hundreds. Gentle hugs, keep warm keep well and try to keep your chin up and your tolerance on an even keel.😘

aead1608 profile image

I’m really struggling with this as well, I’m more snappy with people and have little patience when usually Im the complete opposite!

I’m finding the cold is making it so much worse for me as well!

Painny profile image

I’m irritated all the time, I cry, I bark, I try to use some swear words, then I can’t remember my words or there is inability to bring them out of my mouth. At times I leave the conversation without any warning to others, when this happens I want to sink in the ground

It’s not the age, it’s the constant pain even though we may look OK externally

Macdoual profile image
Macdoual in reply to Painny

100% with you Painny. Have to say I did giggle when you said about swear words and not able to get them out your mouth, it's so bloody frustrating at the time but we all need a wee laugh at times x

Painny profile image
Painny in reply to Macdoual

Looooool, 😊 for sure, it’s bl00dy heart (you see! I wanted to say hard but I wrote heart). It’s so frustrating. I’m with you! Only members on this forum get us and nobody else xx

Makie-Uppie profile image
Makie-Uppie in reply to Painny

I mostly do that to myself, other people used to get it but I found that to be a waste of effort. I have mastered the art of the withering stare, works with puppies, small children and rude people in shops.

Painny profile image
Painny in reply to Makie-Uppie

Good for you, especially I hate it when people try to rush me in the shop, whether it’s the customer behind me or the cashier. Even right from the beginning I apologise and say I have a disability but that wouldn’t make any difference to them. I’m extremely slow both physically and mentally

rosewine profile image

I used to be really laid back but must admit when my pain or fatigue levels are up I find myself having to count slowly backwards from 10 many a time as I feel I could easily snap.

Welshcatlady profile image

Yes I have less tolerance than I used to, I actually put it down to age, but probably is due to the pain and inability to do things that I used to, par for the course I think.

Gigiruth profile image

Hi Ghostielady,Yes feeling the irritation, I wonder if when we loose control the irritation I feel is with myself because I cant to what I could/want to and others because they dont get it. I have found self compassion useful but still swear at inconsiderate 🤬 that have no manners and drive like idiots.

I wish all well in managing our frustrations and looking after ourselves.

Thank you for your post. Christmas can be such a busy time with additional stresses.

I strive to change what I can,let go of what I can't and untether from the frustration of those who dont get it or dont care.

Thanks for posting and thanks to you all on here for being there.x


LhasaMomma profile image

I've had this exact conversation with "His Majesty". The constant pain has left me both looking and feeling so old and tetchy. He said that he has noticed as I was always such a kind, gentle, sweet person (His words ..... Personally, I put it down to good acting lol). I find myself getting snappy with incompetence or lack of respect ..... Like the young man serving behind the bakery counter who tutted and flounced when asked to slice a loaf for the Mum trying to cope with two young children - you get paid to do a job so get on with it and keep a smile on your face while you do. I also find it much worse if I am very tired or hungry. My patience is worn so thin these days. "HM" did say that I rarely aim it at him, and he is grateful that I am one of those people who remember to smile, say thank you, and compliment a job well done, make a supportive comment. I guess it is important to balance the "snappy" with the "smiley" whenever possible. 😊

Delightedbyhares profile image

Hello Ghostielady. YES! is the short answer. Being exhausted and in pain all the time is bound to make us grumpy and snappy. I must be horrible to live with.. my daughter is an angel😇, putting up with me while still working and taking care of the house, which I can’t do anymore. Brain fog, not being able to think clearly and loosing words is sooo frustrating too😡. Don’t be too hard on yourself- Fibro is hard enough without that!! X

Uellow22 profile image

Bonjour !Oh YES I am definitely less tolerant of I'll mannered people and take things out on my husband. I was having a very foggy day, tired, in pain, sensory overload and barked "Can't you see 🙈🙉 how I'm feeling"? All very dramatic but at times, when theses symptoms are more frequent than some other fibro symptoms, it is dramatic, it's like torture.

Of course hormones love to play their part too, just to turn these moments up another notch 😠🤬.

It all feels so unjust but I do feel some comfort that I am not alone with this but of course you forget that at the time.

Healing soft 💗 hugs to you all.

Yellow22 💛

Greyt profile image

yes I get angry if I drop things , bump myself or have a bad day with brain fog and put all that down to fibromyalgia but otherwise I get more angry not because I am turning into a grumpy old lady but at my age I feel I can speak up more and get angry about things i care about especially what is happening in our world today , the poverty ,the lack of help for people at the end of their life with the lack of health care .The huge amount of pets thrown out and of course our poor planet . I am old enough now to say what I want and fight for the causes I believe in .

Not angry all the time 😁 A walk in the countryside helps .

Jeskin profile image

Hi I am the same , I have a really short fuse and I think it is down to the pain and frustration of this condition

Ghostielady profile image

It's really hard when you work too isn't it? Especially when you work in Customer service.

Whiteclouds profile image

Hello , it’s most definitely the pain

Makie-Uppie profile image

I was at the start, then the more of a pounding I took the more accepting I have become to the point were I hardly complain at all now. It does get me into bother now and again but I would rather that than drive off what few friends and family I have left. Take today, I could witter on about how difficult having numb yet tingly hands make typing at the moment but everybody has heard it all before.

MaggieSylvie profile image

I became extremely grumpy, to say the least when perimenopausal. It came very early (I was 37) so I was unaware of the cause and I lost my job as a result. Grumpiness can just become a habit, which can be turned around by positive self talk. In my old age and lots of pain, I find Pregabalin keeps me (as others have described me) serene. At least, I am attributing it to the drug. Sorry I keep going on about it!

Jaycee18 profile image

I am intolerant/ frustrated with myself frequently calling myself stupid for forgetting things or because I can’t do something. But, bizarrely I have become far more chilled out and accepting of others. My husband thinks it’s great.

sunnysanie profile image

Ohh my friend I can feel your pain and frustration🤦people seem rude,impatient,selfish even more than usual when you are in pain,you notice all the imperfections more in yourself and others causing anger towards them and frustration towards yourself😭👎😮 you want to tell everyone to p⭐ss off and leave you be so you can be miserable alone!well that's just me maybe but I tend to avoid people when my pain trigger is high,the only thing is when I'm in pain I'm more sarcastic and funnier,people find it amusing as I rip them to shreads🤔😮👍andRemember not to beat yourself up on the changes pain brings,be kind to yourself❤👍

fmlife profile image

Hi and welcome,

sleep or rather lack of it with the crazy sensations of all ranges to pain,

internal fuses do get shorter, it is good to take a breath or 2 .

be kind to yourself, we are in health situations not expected to be in.

Frenchi88 profile image

Hey Ghostielady I think reasons for me being short and abrupt ,mainly with my hubby poor man, is the tiredness. It takes me all my strength sometimes to talk or to do things AND having to repeat myself to my hubby coz he never hearse first time whatever I say and that tires me out. The pain when I'm in a lot of pain actually makes me go into myself and go very quiet. So tiredness is difficult for me so I know how you feel about the frustration because when I'm speaking to my hubby in a way I know he doesn't deserve I feel really bad but before you know it I'm doing it again. So I think a lot of us wil say the tiredness causes such different emotions including yours.F 💞

Suzi_q profile image

I have actually been recently pondering this in myself as well. In addition to what has already be shared I would also say that when you are tired, in pain, can't think straight, etc etc and this is your daily life you (I) have to prioritize how I'm going to spend what little energy I have. That doesn't mean I'm rude to people but it does mean they don't (or shouldn't) get my attention if they're not putting something positive in my life.

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