motivation and feeling useless

[FibroWorrier]

ok ... So quick background .. I bought a house. A house that needs renovating. My wife is amazing and does everything.

i can't help but feel useless and a waste of space. It's getting so bad that I am actually starting to wonder why she is even with me. What do I bring to the table? Nothing.

but I have no motivation to do anything when I get home from work all I want to do is sleep. how can I change that?

[Fadeddenimcutoff]

Im sorry to hear this, I feel similar to you because of this illness. I have stopped beating myself up because of it now, I do what I can (which isn't much). I have gone from a very fit & active person to someone who just tries his best. Looks like I might have to finish my job as I have been on sick since April and am struggling to return. Talk to your wife about how you feel I'm sure you can work it out.

[dannyxox]

Morning sorry you feel like this I think it's a stage we go through, stop beating yourself up and try think of the positives, Be proud you are still able to hold down your job and provide for your household which is a task in itself, I'm sure if roles were reversed you would do things she wasn't able to. My other half works hard and when he comes home he does cleaning about the house as I am unable to keep ontop if it now. Remember in sickness and in health.

gentle hugs

[Gigiruth]

HI Fibroworrier

we can be so troubled by measuring what we are doing. "What do you bring to the table?"

You love your wife.

how would you feel and react if she were in this position?

Talk with her, you are a human being not a human doing.

self care and compassion will be needed for your health to be the best it can be.

look after you

[Gaballetto]

You're not a waste of space - I'm sure your wife thinks better of you than that. She is probably grateful that you are still able to work and bring in money, and it may be upsetting her that you are so wiped out by it. Talk to each other.

I have to apologise to my husband occasionally because to my own ears I sound like I'm whingeing, but I remind us both that I think it's only fair that I tell him what I'm feeling on any given day so he understands why, for example, I have been sitting doing very little for hours on end, or why I haven't been able to go shopping today etc etc. He does practically all the cooking because I often can't.

We bought and moved into a house that needed lots of work too, 4 years ago, and at the time I warned him I probably wouldn't be able to help him much with the renos. He acknowledges that and although I feel incredibly guilty, at least he knows I'm not just being lazy.

[fmlife]

simple your working to bring in the funds to move the renovation forward.

your also the partner in furniture director and consultant on paint colour, adviser to many points in process

are you also the person who does the very important job as cuppa maker?,

probably helped to lift the other end of that table, that could not be managed alone,

the person who talks to and understands, makes other half laugh.

just because cannot do what think is expected, you are helping in other ways.

remember its the little things that count in any relationship,

communication is key so talk to your other half.

your continued support of all efforts helps to.

in 'grand designs' there is always a moment / a stage where its the tipping point to push forward or a delay for a reason or another.