Pain - where my pain comes from! (2)

[does-the-NHS-work]

I used to visit, my GP for annual bloods, the results = nothing unusual all normal every single year on year.

My visits to the GP were mainly due to the constant pain, nightmares and fatigue, we talked in the 15 minute allocated slot to determine my future!

I have Pain surely I need pain killers? I tried them opioids, like the addictive Codeine. they had little or no affect.

Why are they giving me Antidepressants for Pain? Away I would trot, with another batch of antidepressants, (loads of excited hope in my mind) gradually I would ween myself off the old antidepressant then I could start the next.

The drugs I took in the early stages were Antidepressants, SSRI, SNRI and tricyclic theses are the main three types of antidepressants groups. Citalopram now prescribed in their millions and growing (amazing in itself to think).

What I did not understand is Anxiety in layman terms Fear, we need anxiety to survive. Uncontrolled anxiety in my terms is plainly Fear, we all carry the ability to recognise fear it is our fight and flight responses.

The trouble with me is I learnt Fear at a time in my life that I should have be receiving love and support, care and guidance, so for me I learnt how to dodge danger.

Evidence now suggests that individuals who have experienced Fear at any stage of their lives, that has affects on the central nervous system and leaves its scare, just like a scar on your leg after an accident.

For me my understanding of Fear was a revelation, I have lived a full life, I had some difficult times but nothing I felt I could not deal with, there came the misconception - because what my conscious mind tells me it was ok, after all I got this far in my life the body did a great job,

The true story, - The issues are in the subconscious mind (other side of the brain) - I was not controlling, in fact my therapist explained the subconscious mind is automatic - the automatic fight or flight, stay and defend or run protect us.

It all started to make a lot of sense and pointed to the mind, brain and nervous system, - now my journey continues, with therapy, to understand, desensitise the mind, process the hidden issues that have affected relationships, cause me to over defend myself against others, overwhelmingly suspicious of others, Judgement of situation or others, normally negative but invariably not true, are all a result of learnt behaviour.

I had quite a long way to go yet...