Whose going thru these fibo/fnd and menopause?

[Di01]

Seeking out someone who going thru these 3 conditions as well as depression and how they get thru the day how they r handlng each condition ?..not coping so well atm dunno how ive even managed to keep myself fom not jumping of a bridge or taking an over dose im just wondering if anyone out there feels like there life is totally at a loss point i'm trying so hard to fight these but get to a point like every day is a lossing battle tbh dr just keep going u'l be fine but 18 months and still same!..would like to find maybe one person thats got all 4 and now what im going thru and how each day they cope?

[AlteredWorld]

Hello!

Me, I have all the above and a couple of extras thrown in for good measure. The one thing I can say - is that when the negativity takes over - I at least know I have all these conditions to blame - and certainly not myself.

I'm used to dealing with the waves of mental instability with my cPTSD - diagnosed 21 years ago, I'm used to the challenges of fibro diagnosed 7 years ago, I've gotten used to FND over the past 3 years [I call it F*ck No disorder and F*ck Knows disorder depending on whether my body says 'no' or when no-one knows why 'that' happened!] Depression and anxiety are always present and the menopause just sits on top of all of these.

It's a roller-coaster ride - but humour is the only way to get past all of them - apart from kicking these conditions into touch and accepting it's not me - it's them!

We're told not to blame others when life gets tough - but these are conditions and not people - so I blame them, I accept them and I use humour...and spoon theory to get through it all [meds as well obvs - who couldn't?!]

I obviously can't work, I've got too much going on inside of me to co-ordinate a normal day, but what I do have, is plenty of time to evaluate which condition is playing up at any given time, or if all of them are having a party at the same time.

It's hard to keep on top of it all, it's a definite challenge and obviously on the edge of my social circles I'm not quite believed... but that's only because the normal human doesn't think it's possible to deal with all of this at once and so I'm clearly making it all up - based on their opinion of what they could cope with - to them I am a drama Queen.

Top tips...

know you are super human [how else would you be here still?]

know you are not your 'negative' thoughts [that's chemicals, chemicals all the way]

know that you are not the cause, but you will have symptoms

know that the menopause adds a layer that can take us back to how we felt when first diagnosed with all the other conditions.

know that we've been winning against them, and we are still, so we know what to do already.

So, collectively we have conditions that have some tried and tested methods for surviving and that we have to wing it with the extras as individuals.

I explain myself as having 'a drama queen for a brain and a diva for a body' it's a much shorter sentence than listing off the 'reasons' as to why I am like this and I'm not having to depress myself by listing them off everytime someone asks or when I'm talking to myself. With a drama queen for a brain and a diva for a body I'm able to accept what happens on a daily basis, and it lightens the load in my brain - with humour! Try saying that phrase to someone when they ask what's going on - it helps our inner circle cope with what is going on inside us as well - if you say it with a smile, it adds humour for both ourselves and those close to us. We don't need to add anything to that sentance - and people don't need to try and understand.

Another thing I do, is I write notes for myself everywhere, positive affirmations to remind me - it's not me. I am the sum of my conditions, but I am not the cause. When the dark days take over my friends and hubby read the notes to me, or they collect them up and make me read them - so I can remind myself to wait for it to pass.

I have more tips, but the brain fog has kicked in after writing so much, that I can't remember them just now. Oh - yeah, no I love the brain fog and the memory issues, cos I firmly believe that helps me to not feel like this is a continual thing. I honestly grab hold of my memory issues as a way that saves me from continual pain/angst etc building up. Yeah, love the memory issues.

Anyway... I'll come back when my brain re-groups if you want, cos so far, I'm the only person validating your issues, but I'm sure there are more of us - we're just not able to physically get to your message on time ha! Yep, humour all the way.

Don't feel alone but also try not to dwell, it's not us - it's them. We can kick it all into touch for most of the time, but if we need a duvet day - take it - we're worn out with all of this, and we must rest. Rest our brain, rest our body. Expect to cry - the menopause has thrown an extra layer on top.

This is just me. Hopefully you can take a positive nugget from this, but at least know you are not alone.

[Di01 in reply to AlteredWorld]

Cant stop crying like its comes on without any warning i'm so confused i neva know what pain killers to take because most of these set gastro problems off all that i get all day or make me sleepy all i want really is a med to work think thats why im so fed up literally i dont see homour because i dont feel any kinda emotionals other that this horrible numbness no love there for anything i kno things will never be the same just wish my body wouldnt have 101 things going on at once seems like hrt just kept triggering more for the fnd off i do beat myself up about it as well how can u not when ur life just feels so drained and spending my life in bed feels like ive tried so many things meds and failed cant see passed dont really want to be going thru another yr of finding this med that suits me 18 months been bad enough having so many bad days to maybe that 1 odd day within 12 wks people may feel that its ranting but like u until ur going thru it and having ur life pass by lucky u have such people in ur life that can make u feel better i have two teengers that dont understand how can they really when i dont fully undedstand these conditions myself other half well hes never been that brilliant couldnt keep a conv up hes rather boring its always been me the up beat one keeping the laughter going but not her nomore! Take care now!

[AlteredWorld in reply to Di01]

I'm not on any hrt meds - but I'm on a lot of other meds that seem to help that side of my symptoms. Sertraline, quitiapine, amytriptaline some others, I forget just now and diazepam as required - but I restrict that one lots.

As far as pain killers go - I take 2 paracetamol 4 x a day. It's not because I am not in pain... Gabapentine made me worse, pregabalin stopped working altogether and all the stronger pain killers affected my ibs so bad it just isn't worth taking them. But I do notice when I've forgotten to take a dose of paracetamol, so they must be doing something!

I manage a lot of my pains with diet oddly enough, but I'm not always very good at it - I've written replies to other posts about this! Changes to our diet can help reduce pain and inflammation, I would recommend taking a look at posts on fibro and food intolerences on here, there seems to be a lot of people on here who have already done a lot of the hard work for us [ I'm forever grateful!]

The overwhelming sadness that descends and the non-stop crying added to my pain, but mental health totally affects our bodies ability to let us get on with things. When we can't find joy in anything, anything at all we are not ourselves. We don't see the world the way our inner circles do - we don't see our value - and everything feels too tough - full stop.

You gotta find your happy, a little bit of happy is something we can work with, something we can build from, something that helps the good chemicals and the happy hormones start to beat the odds against the shite that hormones and chronic illness try to deny.

Don't let the hormones and chemical imbalances change your perception of what you are capable of... BostonBella says it right... there is nothing in this world worth ending your life for - but negative hormones and chemicals will not let you understand or deal with this fact.

It's not you, this is not your life, your family might not understand [doubt many would tbh] but they are still there - none of our inner circle have the answers to everything, you're on here because it is difficult to find people such as ourselves in our general day to day lives... TRUST ME, TRUST BostonBella - and anyone else who replies... you are caught in a cycle of chemicals and hormones that need a bit extra help to kick them into touch.

Maybe share your meds list with BostonBella - my meds have to factor in anti-psychotics - so I'm not the best on hrt or alternatives and like I mentioned my ibs gets in the way - Antidepressants, I'm currently enjoying sertraline at 200mgs a day and a couple of off-script things - but someone better equipped than me can share their experiences - non of this is medical advice - just sharing my story, and what works and doesn't work for this ridiculous body.

It's difficult to find happy when we feel all hope is gone... but that's just a perspective - and there are many other perspectives around - too many to stick to that one - try someone else's perspective - keep trying till you get one you can run with...

#bekind to yourself while your brain and body aren't being - no need to stoke the fire.

[BostonBella]

Don’t despair…. I feel your pain… menopause, Fibromyalgia ( going on 10 yrs now), depression from a hard 3 yr divorce battle with a narcissistic, gaslighting nutcase! That’s 3 out of 4 ….. one thing I must say…. There is nothing in this world that is worth ending your life for! Nothing!!Sounds like you need some decent pain/ menopause management ! Your body is literally working against itself just now! Are you on medication for all of them? If you don’t mind sharing what your taking then I/ we may be able to offer some advice as I’ve been through nearly every Poss combination of meds you can think of xx

J x

[Di01 in reply to BostonBella]

What meds r u on and how was ur condition effecting ur daily out come ?..i was on hrt up until today i felt it was setting off a lot of issues regarding the fnd and im not one for feeling more added things on top h8t the shaking headaches and dizzness while trying to combat the tirdness and crying fits the pain of my other joints i just get on with but overall its nothing but a living hell i've been on so many meds this yr that spent either being sick shaking like ive got parkinsons or 12 hour headaches after a wk on them im like emotinally horrible and chuck it in These r on little doses like my body cant handle pain killers some days they knock me out to sleep i sleep more than eva no benefits from it i dont see anything helpping now feel like ive tried all the possiblities just wondering what others have done to get out of feeling like this r is it a case of trying to find that med that fits i give up on meds just sleep my life way & push everyone a side in mean time not as i feel love anymore or passionate about anything im not even sure what to do anymore kinda just letting it all take over!..

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Hello , I feel for you it’s pretty rotten having conditions all at once, the fact that your doctor is just saying oh you will be fine is not good enough after 18 months. I would see someone else and tell them what you have written here, I have a practioner nurse at my surgery she is brilliant and seems she has more time than the over worked doctors , they can do a lot of things , prescription s , speaking to a female they can really understand what you are currently going through with much more empathy having been through menopause etc themselves, do take care and get that help soon xx

[Di01]

Thanks