Why?

[ShelWhitt]

What on earth is wrong with me? I have had a pretty rough time over the last 12 months, as many of you will know, but I recently felt I was getting back on track. (well as much as I ever was) and even though circumstances haven't really changed, in fact in some respect things have got worse, I have been feeling lot brighter in myself, and more optimistic and more able to cope. I had put it down to chatting to all you special friends on here, and your support, plus the nights are getting longer and the weather better. Now I am really depressed. I know the coronovirus is having an impact and the fact that I have a runny nose, sore throat, headaches and aches and pains, on top of all the usual fibro. stuff isn't helping. I have had it a while and convinced myself it was a virus which would eventually go,or yet another fibro. problem, but now in view of the pandemic I am getting concerned. DH is 81 with dementia, copd and other medical conditions, plus I also have underactive thyroid (which may or may not be auto immune), CKD , degenerative spine, plus other stuff, including anxiety, and I am almost 78. I feel terrified and don't really know why. I am no worse than most of you on here, in respect of health problems, and yet you are still able to be upbeat and positive. I really need to shake myself up and get back on track, but don't really know how! Any advice would be welcome. Take care. x

[honeybug]

Sweetie....you’re human hun. This pandemic is rampant globally.

You’re in the elderly bracket with underlying/prior health conditions some serious; you have a right to be anxious given the symptoms you just said you still have and they are similar to those of the virus.

I do believe any one of us, myself included, would feel the same way or worse.

I’ll be 69 next month and I have 61 diagnoses plus 3 pending. I have a steadfast faith and I’m scared too. However while I am afraid yet will I still trust Him in all things.

You didn’t mention if you are alone. If you are that is another big factor that influences your feelings.

One thing we all must remember is to do the very best we can to follow all safety measures/guidelines to avoid and shelter as ordered. That’s all anyone CAN do in any given serious/dangerous situation.

It would help to call someone you’re close to and just have a reassuring chat. Limit your tele time so you’re not getting info overload. Listen to calming music.

Watch a feel good movie/DVD.

Have a delicious cuppa.

If wrapping up in a soft blanket makes you feel warm and comfy try that. Soaking in an Epsom salts bath often relaxes tension try that if you have any on hand.

We are all different and this is what puts the spice and variety in life. Everyone handles crises differently. Don’t compare yourself to others and feel less because you aren’t calm these days. You’re the one now needing reassurance and comforting and that’s okay sweetie.

That’s the reason I’m on this Earth is to help others however I can.

This site is full of lovelies who will lend their ears voices and hearts to help you through this difficult time.

I don’t sleep much so I take naps whenever fatigue overtakes me; but if you reach out to me I will be here for you just as soon as I can respond hun.

Remember now you’re human and being afraid/terrified is part of the human condition. The only difference between you and the others on here is that we distract ourselves so we don’t think about it.

Now I just finished a very special prayer for you sweetie.

Sending you a very warm hug 🤗 and fervent prayers 🙏 dear friend.

Much love to you from across the pond. 💗❤️💖💝

EvaJo xxx

[ShelWhitt in reply to honeybug]

Thanks so much, Eva Jo, really appreciate it. xx

[honeybug in reply to ShelWhitt]

You’re so welcome dear.

xxx

🙏🌿🌸🦋❤️🌿💐💖🌿🌹💝🌈😇🕊

[diww1 in reply to honeybug]

What a lovely reply I was very moved by it x

[honeybug in reply to diww1]

Awwww thank you so much dear diww1. 😊🌿🌸🦋

Take care and be safe my friend.

EJ x

[diww1 in reply to honeybug]

You too x

[SusieSquirrel]

Hi ShelWhitt

It's understandable being scared at this time. I'm only 49 so don't fall into the bracket you do but it doesn't stop the panic rising.

I've had a cold and bad chest so self isolating so my daughter has been shopping for my parents who I can't see.

As for the upbeat bit I can assure you for my part it forced as I have to or I'll be in a gloomy hole with anxiety and depression.

My heart goes out to everyone with other health issues.

I have done what honeybee suggested and limited my time watching news. I watch the evening news and nothing more just to keep me informed so my anxieties don't get to bad.

Take care and stay safe

[ShelWhitt in reply to SusieSquirrel]

Thanks Susie Squirrel. Wise words indeed. All during last week I wasn't too bad and have been keeping busy, but the last two nights I had hardly any sleep, due to stress, worrying about my daughters and families, one has just lost her job; She is doing the shopping for us; the other is OK for now, but how long? Don't know about their DH's yet either! Or my grandson. And my granddaughter is obviously off school, she is 14. I know this is the same for everyone, but I think already suffering with anxiety doesn't help, you can't just turn it off unfortunately. I agree about limiting the amount of news to watch. Hope you keep well.

[SusieSquirrel in reply to ShelWhitt]

Oh dear. Maybe try some relaxation or meditation. I'm not one for that kind of stuff but when I started going to pain clinic they wanted me to try it. It certainly helps you relax. It doesn't help you not sleeping. It would definitely help with your anxieties.

The fact that your daughter lost her job is helping keep her safe. Better safe and poor.

If your family are being sensible they'll be fine. Lockdown is good.

My son lives 100's of miles away and I'm worried sick for him. My daughter lives only a few miles away and I got to see her Sunday. She sat in my yard while I was in the kitchen.

This is an awful thing but we'll get through it. We have to be positive for our sake and our family.

[TheDrivenSnow]

ShelWhitt, you are not alone. How can you be when we are all rooting for you and, indeed, for each other?

I must admit that I have had a rough few days; they're becoming more frequent of late, like a cycle that I have come to expect. But I know that I have my support systems, this forum being an important one, and that they will sustain me.

Like someone very wise once said to me, you will get to the other side of this and look back in wonder. I'm not sure I'll get to the other side, but I constantly look back in wonder even from this modest vantage point.

This stupid virus is getting in the way. Of everything. Obscuring our vision. Taking away what we feel is rightfully ours.

I would give (almost) anything to get to 75. Another few decades. Sadly, that won't happen.

I'm running out of time and out of moments with all the wonderful, glorious, beautifully imperfect people I love fiercely and without reservation or condition.

I've found that helping others in ways I didn't know were in me is actually helping me.

And of course I'm not upbeat, nor am I relentlessly positive, but I have trained myself to be accepting and fatalistic. Some might consider that a failing: I just see it as a coping strategy.

Look around and you will find your own coping strategy: I promise you. x

[ShelWhitt in reply to TheDrivenSnow]

Thanks for responding. Once again, you make me put things into perspective, and thank God - which I don't do very often, I must admit - for the many good things I have had, and some I still do have, in my life!Take care Driven Snow. xx

[TheDrivenSnow in reply to ShelWhitt]

xXx

[honeybug]

Thank you Zoonie for you’re very kind words. I find you a very compassionate soul yourself. Your wife is blessed to have you my friend.

EJ x 🤗🙏🌿🌸🤗💗

[honeybug]

😊🙏🤗💖😘

[bobbybobb]

Hi ShelWhitt, lots of great advice from everyone. People with no health problems and no issues with anxiety or depression are finding the present situation very difficult to cope with and adjust to. So, when you think of all your health problems and what goes on in your life, to have a dip in your mood, isn't surprising. Especially if you are unwell at the moment and down with something. Fears and worries are huge with everyone at the moment and I think even worse for people who do suffer from anxiety and depression. It has affected my daughter as she does suffer with anxiety which is much worse at the moment because she is frightened at all the changes going on at the moment. As TheDrivenSnow has mentioned, hopefully you will find a coping strategy. Take care, we are all here for each other. xx

[ShelWhitt in reply to bobbybobb]

Thanks Bobbybobb. That is what is so great with all the friends on here. No one condemns or judges. Everyone is so accepting, helpful and supporting in spite of, or maybe because of, having been through difficult times themselves. I find it so easy to open up in a way I can't do to anyone else, and know you all understand, without feeling I am being weak or needy! Thank you all again. I hope I can return the favour sometime, if needed. Keep safe everyone! xx

[LoneEra]

Everyone has said wonderful things so far, so I will just add a few suggestions:

- Check out positive news stories to balance out the negatives. I recommend this hub of joy: goodnewsnetwork.org

- Make a plan to do something you enjoy every day. Listen to an album you love, read a book, do a crossword.

- If you have a tablet or smartphone, you can download many games for free - things like word searches and scrabble-type games. Can help to take your mind off everything.

- Consider doing little tasks that might make you feel productive. When was the last time you sorted through your sock drawer and threw away all the lonely ones? Are all your kitchen spices still in date?

- Start writing down stories from your past that make you laugh. This might even turn into a memoir your grandkids can read!

Anyway, you get the idea Hope you start to feel more positive soon xx

[SusieSquirrel in reply to LoneEra]

I love the idea of writing down little stories of our lives. Imy going to put that on my to do list...thanks LoneEra

[LoneEra in reply to SusieSquirrel]

You’re welcome 😘 Hope you are keeping safe and well xx

[SusieSquirrel in reply to LoneEra]

I am. Hope you are too x

[ShelWhitt in reply to LoneEra]

Thank you Lone Era. Great suggestions, although I have already made a start with that - sock drawers, etc. Three bags of clothes to charity shop ten days ago and 4 boxes of books. This week sorted out 3 more boxes of cd's and DVD's but shop now closed so will have to wait for them to re-open. Still have books to read but don't seem able to settle at the minute, but am playing scrabble on line. Have a list of jobs as long as my arm; next kitchen cupboards. If we get that far, and are feeling fit enough, maybe a bit of decorating; and then of course there is the garden!Thankfully small. If the sun keeps shining that of course will help. Best wishes to you all at this extremely stressful time and thanks to you all, again! xx

[Hidden]

Hi

I don't think there is anything I can add to what everyone else has put. We are all here to help each other through what we never thought would happen in our lifetime. Thinking of you as always. Pm me anytime. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[ShelWhitt in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Lynne. You are always there, supporting, in spite of your own difficulties. Hope you are keeping relatively OK. and managing a few hours sleep at least. Speak again soon! Take care. xx

[Hidden in reply to ShelWhitt]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[Ladame]

So sorry to hear you are feeling so down but Ive been a bit the same way. Not saying as bad as you but I've put it down to all that's going on with the Corona virus and the uncertainty of it all. If you, like, are someone who likes to have everything organised and know what you're doing when, this whole thing has knocked all that out of sync we've lost control in a way. Only the other week I said I would love to have time to do the things I want to do - seeing, knitting reading and now I have all the time in the world those things don't interest me ! I can't seem to settle to things. At least the weather is good (we're in Yorkshire) so we're sitting in the garden and enjoying the sunshine- not bikini weather but with a fleece on it's ok! Thinking of you and saying a little prayer. Xx

[ShelWhitt in reply to Ladame]

Hi Ladame. You're right. It is partly all the uncertainty. Long may the lovely weather last, I too am in Yorkshire and it is glorious this morning! Take care. xx