Getting some kind of life back

[chronicallychloe]

Hey guys, sorry for yet another post in a short space of time, I guess I’m making the most out of finally having some people in my life again especially people who understand, even if you all do happen to be strangers online. I’ve been suffering for almost 2 and a half years now and I’ve missed out on so much. I couldn’t attend the last months of college (although I did manage to sit my exams thankfully), I have one friend left and we barely see each other as she works and I’m always too painful and exhausted. I want to get some kind of life back that isn’t limited to laying down watching tv all day every day. I want to try going out for walks again but to be honest it’s so boring, lonely and gloomy it isn’t really very appealing or motivating. I don’t live right near a pool or anything so if I went swimming it would have to be limited to once or twice a week because i am still learning to drive so my mum would need to take me and she doesn’t really like taking me places. I don’t even know what kind of things I can do at home but I’d love ideas on things to do outside too, even if I can only do something twice a week and alternate between things at least it’s a bit of a life. With a history of mental health issues I’m finding it really difficult to stay positive and enjoy life. I’m all alone, my best friends left me several months ago and although I find it quite easy to make friends, I am scared I’ll never have that close bond with people ever again and with my illness and barely getting out, I’m finding it difficult to know how I’m ever going to make real friends and everyone needs friendship especially at times like this. I have an app to find friends online (bit like tinder but for friends) but I struggle to hold a conversation over message because I get so exhausted and unmotivated and it just feels too different than meeting someone the normal way and just clicking with someone. Please help me think of some ways to get even a little life and happiness back, I’m begging at this point. I only really have my boyfriend and when I feel well enough to leave the house he will take me to a restaurant or arcade bless him but I need more people in my life than him. I need friends and hobbies too. It gets to points where I really struggle to convince myself that I can get somewhere with this and that it’s worth still pushing on. I know it’s not life I want to escape but the situation I’m in and I’ve learnt enough over the years with mental health issues to learn that and let it sink in and I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily having ‘suicidal’ thoughts anymore, just struggling with the point of it all right now and really need some kind of life back. TIA xx

[Sue_64]

Hi Chloe, There are loads of free activity apps on Google Play, I'm sure you'd find something that would appeal to your creative side, as they are free you do have to put up with the ads popping up, I just shut them down. One I have downloaded is Happy Colour by numbers for adults, fair to say I'm hooked, & find it relaxing. You get different challenges each day, and if your on Facebook & I'm sure you will be they also have activities on Facebook. I also buy adult colouring books online, one I bought recent is Calming Colouring Book from Amazon, for the books I use Crawford & Black Water-soluble Pencils but you can use any pencils or felt tips. Google Play has lots of creative things to do. Look after yourself.

Sue x

[Hidden]

Hi

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Have a look on line to see if there's anything you can join during the day as another interest. You will make better friends at these clubs too.You've got a lovely boyfriend who sounds like he thinks the world if you. Maybe go to your Dr and say how you are feeling . Everyone on here are great, you will get lots of support.

My friends and family are brilliant and your Mum sounds brilliant too. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[Maya23]

Hi 👋 I’m an artist so I fill my time with making things (from my bed sometimes) and painting, chatting to friends on the phone and occasionally having visitors round for tea or lunch or dinner (bring a dish). I do understand your feelings of isolation though. I feel them too. I sometimes post on Facebook just to remind friends with busy lives that I still exist, and I have 2 Instagram accounts too which keep me feeling in contact with people.

Have you thought of hosting a book club? Reading is something we can do! Or learning a new skill at a class? I have done Tai chi. I go for walks in my local neighbourhood too which I do enjoy as we live by the countryside too so I get a bit of both. Have you considered getting a walking buddy?

I hope you find a way forward. It must be hard getting ill so young. I was in my 30’s when I first got ill. I’m now 47 and thankfully my marriage has survived the ups and downs. Take care x

[Midori]

Hi there,

You mentioned having mental health issues, we can work with that. Do you live in a Town, village or out in the sticks? If you are in a Town there might be a MIND Place nearby which will welcome you to their activities, or another Social group which welcomes older and younger folk for coffees and cakes once or twice a week. Mind was excellent when I was in need of emotional support.

In my town there are several groups for various people, dementia, Disabled, etc, and I found information on them at my local Library, there are also groups for Local history, Archaeology, knitting and Crochet, its knowing where to find them!

There are also dance groups, Zumba, Salsa, Ballroom (if you are a Strictly fan!) or even belly dance, which is a good exercise for loosening up stiff muscles and core strength. I used to dance, Ballet as a kid, Ballroom in my teens and Belly when I got older. Moving to music is good for the mind as well as body. There might be an Interpretive dance group around, if that sort of thing floats your boat! Belly can still be done, even if you are on crutches or sticks!

Local History groups welcome new members and it is amazing what you notice when you know what to look for. Living History is another possibility, if history is an interest.

Try to find activities which require you to get out of the house. It's too easy to vegetate indoors, especially with depression, which will just send you into a downward spiral even more quickly, and the further down you go the harder it is to get back up!

If you have a local museum, they will often have a group of folk interested in the local history, or even Geology, if you like to know about the kind of land you live on.

Gardening can be restful and therapeutic, plus you can grow your own food!

Sorry I waffled, but hope some of this might be useful!

Cheers, Midori

[chronicallychloe]

Hi everyone, I’m still quite new here so am not quite sure about everything but I’m assuming you won’t get notified if I comment without replying to each of you individually, however I’m much too tired to reply to everyone separately.

Thank you all for your suggestions, they have been really helpful and I’m going through App Store looking for things and also researching things near me off your suggestions.

I live in a village rather than a town/ city so not very much near at all. I am looking into dance classes and after I’ve finished Pilates class under physio I will be looking to carry it on in a regular class. I will also be phoning up different leisure centres in the towns around me and finding out what temperature their pools are. I will keep my eyes peeled for a MIND place. I used to love Zumba but don’t think my body would cope now so is something to think about in the future.

I’ve got some idea for ‘days out’ when I’m up to them now too which is good as treats. Mentally it’s nice to be coming up with some ideas now and feeling like I’m doing something even if it’s only planning for now.

I could probably do one other regular hobby (outside the house) a week alongside Pilates due to having to be drove into town so i can do one for a few months and then try out another etc and that should keep me busier, happier and moving a bit more!

Hope everyone is well x