Mixed up

[Julieaburrows]

V mixed up and frightened. Mum being so Is sending my mind and body all over the place. Every part of me hurts and feels like it's on fire. It's hurting me that she isn't showing me the love i need her to show me. So I get angry and confused and she gets angry and tells me in stressing her up. So I between more mixed up. I just want a hug and someone to hold my hand. I've been ill so long. A !mixed up 42 year old frightened kid who struggled to cope with that big big world. Keep telling myself am strong, I've come this far. Every so often i see that me i want to be...and I like her ...and then wallop something hits me again.I'm there i know I am. Somewhere. Somehow I'll find a way to release that crazy cat fairy butterfly moth from this wrapped up web. There's got to be a bit of light somewhere.

[Bobbassett]

Sending you a big virtual hug xx Take care

[rosie-2015]

Here's another virtual hug to go with the other one, I hope you feel better soon take care ❤️

Gentle hugs Rosie xx 😊

[Pjik]

Hi i would say ur mom just does not understand and dont know what u need have u told her how u feel talking does wonders sometimes hope u feel better take care talk to us we do understand

[Julieaburrows]

It's so hard to see the person you love most slowly slip away. I'll get through it, I know I will. Every day is a battle at the best if times. Just glad there's people out there who'll listen when I need. 3 real hugs plus these as well have helped no end and a good cry in the cinema watching a star is born. Thank you lady gaga for helping me tap into the emotions I really need to express. X

[Rose54 in reply to Julieaburrows]

I cried as well it was so moving

[Julieaburrows in reply to Rose54]

We are in good company. Mark Kermode said he cried 4 times!!!!

[Horsesgalore in reply to Julieaburrows]

Hugs to you and the situation you are in. I too cried when I saw A Star is Born, I found the whole film so moving and I thought Lady Gaga was amazing. Take care x

[Julieaburrows]

Just wish my dad would give me a hug. I reach out but it's like....I don't know. He'll hug everyone else but not me...and that hurts...especially when I see my mum hurting so much. Hugs to all those kind huggy people out there. Best thing in the world. Xxx

[60Chrissy]

Hija.

So sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Nothing worse feeling like your whole body is on fire! It's not easy when you are trying to get on with life and you feel there is no understanding with folk with regard to what you are going through.

Easy said than done but I would encourage you to try and take time out to let your body and mind calm down.

I have had some help from a book called Treating and beating Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue syndrome by Rodger Murphree Amazon around £18.00. He recommend 5HTP alternative med. to build up Serotonin and melatonin (Serotonin improves your mood and melatonin induces sleep).

Also a chap called Richard Brice on internet offers a 7 day meal plan - avoiding sugar processed food and gluten - stating it helped him reduced chronic pain.

Hope things pick up for you. There are better days ahead - be kind to your self and take care. 💕🌈

[Julieaburrows]

If one day I could achieve some if the things mum and me dreamed of doing and seeing it would mean so much, even if I scare myself doing them. She is my angel and flower girl and I love her so much. Thank you for your recommendations 're book and diet etc i will have a look. Xxxx

[carmenp1]

So sorry you are in a bad way. I've been there too. At its worst the pain is all over and my back is burning. I had a vitamin b12 injection from my GP 2 weeks ago and by the next day I felt almost normal. I was in a very bad way and in tears at the dr office. The b12 injection took away the pain and it was unbelievable what a difference it made. I am 63. I wasn't given the injection because I had low b levels. I think he offered to me because of the chronic fatigue...who knows. It doesn't last. It lasted 2 weeks this time. Usually it lasts 3 days. Supposed to get the shot every 3 months but my GP said you can't overdose on it. He suggested I take it every 6 weeks but I am going to see him today for another injection as I am in a bad way again. If you haven't tried b12 injection ask your GP for one and see if it helps your symptoms. You are not alone. It's hard for someone who hasn't got fibromyalgia to understand how debilitating it is. Hope this flare up passes soon for you.

[carmenp1]

My husband stresses out big time when I am really sick but it's because he cares and he knows he can't do anything for me.

[Julieaburrows in reply to carmenp1]

Big hugs to both of you. X

[Sarahvit]

Hi Julie, I want to give you that much needed hug 🤗💕you so desperately need. I so sorry you mum doesn’t understand nor show you the love you need. Have you tried to explain your condition to her. Try to show her acts of kindness and love. This will help melt that cold stand offish attitude that your mum is having towards you. Unfortunately people with invisible illesses are judge wrongly by the public. It is sad but there are people out there who have a 7th sense where they can see how we are feeling. I have run acrossed a handful of people who have this what I call 7th sense. 6 sense was already taken by women who have what I call knowing something before anyone tells you about it. For example I knew back in 77 that my dad was being transferred. It was about a week before my parents told us we were moving. My sister and brother didn’t figure it out. The most recent was knowing my granddaughter was going to be born on my son’s 23rd birthday. A lot of this 6th sense has been effected by the fibro fog. I knew the sex of my two kids when I was pregnant with them. This I thought all mothers had but my daughter didn’t have it. Anyway there are some people who have well both 6th and 7ths sense. Some of us with fibro and other chronic illesses that cause pain and fatigue have learn how to pick up on how others are feeling. Are you in a support groups there? That would help give you an outlet to talk with others who understand because they are going through the same thing. 🤗💕🦋🌻💜

[Julieaburrows]

Mum understands more than most. She was always that listening unconditional ear i needed. Seeing her struggling, and being so in touch with her emotionally as you say is very hard. I agree about the senses thing. I feel I am very spiritually connected and sensitive to other emotions and it makes all my own feelings and confusions more difficult to cope wirh. . It's those bits of routine times when we did stuff together that now aren't happening that make it hard. Battling with my demons is so hard. Simple decisions and pain and a muddled mind and a being alone are not a good combination. Try and get thro today. Somehow.

[Hidden]

Hi I'm 54 and in the same situation . my couciller believes that my cold, hard, b*tch of a mother is probably the route of the problem and the cause of my ill health. i always find i'm better when she's not around ( i moved to a different country which worked. ) i also found i couldn't have other relationships with her around? When my Dad was ill i came back to help. when he died i got stuck with her again. Can i suggest you start researching narcissistic, boarderline and histrionic behaviors. There's loads about it on the net and youtube. It may help you identify her issues and show you how to cope with them . Believe me, there are thousands of other people out there in the same boat. Perhaps You need to start accepting that love won't ever come there and start to slowly distance yourself, which is what i trying to do at the moment. let me know if you want to talk more about it. Big hug x ... Richard Grannon at spartanlifecoach on youtube is a good place to start he's very smart and has been though it. he now helps others.