Getting them to understand

[tan1974]

Hi ,im tania,

Does anyone else know how this feels ?

I feel so sad that even tho ive been diagnosed with fibro, my family still expect me to carry on as normal, picking them up , dropping them off , taking them shopping , watching the grandchildren, they just take for grated that il do it still ,i work all week and just got a second job too , to help money situations, i just keep going , but when will be enough.

[YASMINTINA FMA UK Volunteer]

Hi there yes indeed many of us do know this feeling as people that do not walk in our fibro shoes will not have a clue what it feels like, you sound like you are constantly pushing yourself but if you have a fibro flare where your body will not go , it will be you that suffers until they wake up and realise, I came to an abrupt Holt in February for about 3 months and just trying to get out of bed to go the bathroom was an effort , my daughter had to make alternate arrangements like putting the grandchildren in nursery for a day as she works partime and other grandparents took a day, my husband had to learn the basics and put dinner on the plate a night, he says how he appreciates when I’m doing the cooking now. I also got a print off from the practice nurse for close friends ie to read about fibro , I think eventually it clicked with my nearest dearest how my body was effected , they don’t like the bad days but certaintly now appreciate my good ones. I really hope you find a way to get your point over, as nice as some people are sometimes they need a wake up call. Take care if you would like to lock your posts here’s the link as gives you and members more privacy. healthunlocked.com/fibromya... x

[WorldOHurt]

I'd have a talk with family members and tell them that you are glad to help when you are feeling OK but that from now on they will just have to accept the word "no" sometimes, that you just can't do nearly as much anymore. Much good luck. xxoo

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

Are you fairly newly diagnosed? Its difficult enough for us to accept and understand the changes in our lives that having fibro may bring, but it's equally difficult for our families to understand that what we are able to do may have changed and we are not always able to do things we previously did without thinking.

FMA UK patient booklet contains a section for family to read, and you can also Google articles such as 'letter to normals'

Also there is the 'spoon theory' woozy explains how we only have limited energy for tasks and activities and Mdaisy recently shared a similar one that was the analogy of a telephone exchange for pain. Xxx

[OldnCreaky]

I agree with Hazel_Angelstar it is hard for family to see us as anything than the superstar we have always been. It will be a challenge to renegotiate the boundaries, but you owe it to yourself and to them to say No! That way you can manage essential support, but help them to find other options for non essentials. Give yourself the care you would give to others xx