Colleague reported memory loss to my manager

[Milynda]

Hi

One of my colleagues reported that I had memory loss to my manager after I had difficulty recalling a social work case that I was working on and I had to go look up the details. I have always been able to manage my work although have difficulty recalling things if put on the spot. How can I adapt my systems so I can manage this. My boss confronted me about it and now I am on the defensive as she asked me if I need an occupational health referral.

[Lou1054]

You are clearly quite able to do your job, in your work situation I would defy anyone to recall every detail of every case. Your employer has a duty of care to you so do talk about any problems you have, learn to switch off when not at work. All best wishes xx

[Hidden]

Hi Milynda

Don’t worry about what your boss said that is a positive step OH are there to make things easier for you. To help you find a way of improving your current work system to make recall easier. Or at least find a system that allows you to find the information you need without feeling pressured or stressed by it

Accept the offer with a smile and switch off your working worries when you leave the office

Keep smiling 😀

LG

[honeybug]

Hi Milynda 😊🌸🌿🦋

I’m so sorry to hear about your colleague tattling to your manager about your memory lapse. It’s too bad there wasn’t an expression of compassion instead. I was always concerned for myself regarding my memory. I would make cross reference books to help me and a plethora of notes for daily tasks.

I had a near fatal closed head injury at age 7 and memory lapse was a problem post injury which has worsened over the decades combined with my diagnoses.

By using cross referencing it made it easier to recall things. It might be applicable in your career.

I used to work in medicine very useful there.

EJ

[Milynda]

Thank you for your kind words all.

[Williamsgirl]

I have my Occupational Health consultation coming up on Tuesday. I am currently on a 2 week sick line (the first time I have been off work since being diagnosed last year) and I am due back to work on Thursday. As well as agonising pain, one reason I am off is that our company have been bought over by a huge company and have made so many changes in the last few months that I just can't keep up. I am struggling to understand the new forms, processes and procedures which change the way we have to do our job daily. I was trying to make sense of new 25 page reports which were sprung on us with only a day's warning, and reading pages up to 10 times but still not understanding what I was supposed to do with them, and I just couldn't cope.

Hopefully the consultation will come up with some suggestions to enable me to continue working. I want to work, and financially, living alone, I need to work.

Occupational health is there to help us to work, I have agreed to a consultation as it can only help, not hinder.

[Milynda in reply to Williamsgirl]

I hope you have success I. Your appointment. Keep us posted about any help you receive and thank you for your response

[Peanut585]

Sorry to hear about your colleague telling on you. Hopefully the occupational health can assist you. Is that through work or how does it work? Sorry for the questions, I’m new on here and still trying to get the professionals to confirm that I have Fibro as they all keep saying to me that the pains and exhaustion etc is all down to Fibro but yet no one will say yes you have it! So doing battle there plus I’m now starting to have issues at work too. So all I want to do is hide under my duvet and wish the pain an exhaustion etc would leave me alone x

[Milynda in reply to Peanut585]

Take care. It is in relation to work. My experience has been that occupational health referrals in my workplace are not always helpful.

[Peanut585]

Ok thank you, i may not gone down that route then as my work aren’t the most helpful as it is!

[Milynda in reply to Peanut585]

No go ahead and use the but remember they report back to your manager and can sometimes help them gather evidence with regard to capability issues.

[Peanut585]

At the moment they are not very helpful with the fit note that i gave them last week as they agreed to reduce my hours but to assist but then I received a letter from the yesterday saying that they need to discuss the situation with me on Monday as they have to look at the business needs and may not be able to assist fully. So i doubt i will go down the route of the OH therapist

[landslider]

Hi Milynda

I can completely empathise with you and in particular how you feel about going to OH.

My current OH person is actually very supportive and has helped me to get some support and recent phased return to work but this is most certainly not always the case.

I am in the same line of work as you and was diagnosed with FM a couple of years ago. I have tried all sorts of stuff to help me get by and have found that with a very good diet, exercise when I can, lots of sleep when not in work and various supplements such as Hemp seed Oil, B vitamins, alpha lipoic acid and black cohosh, I can just about survive the day.

My memory is shocking too so I tend to type up conversations in detail as I have them, or make copious notes during and after assessments to help jog my memory.

I have to write down a plan every morning and tick it off so that I have a visual aid of what I have and have not done.

I also print out a list of the names of my cases each week and scribble a short note by each one to remind me where I am up to or what may be coming up. I keep that in my diary as a constant memory jogger.

FM is recognised as a disability and employers have to be seen to make appropriate adjustments to help you manage but that depends on the nature of your work and in my experience, being honest about my difficulties at the beginning of my illness just led to me being challenged under capability and having to have meeting after meeting to argue my case.

This left me feeling stressed, worn down, defeated, deflated and constantly paranoid about covering my back and being 'checked up on'

I have managed to stay in work after changing teams and not sharing my illness with my current team, but after a recent period of illness - which was due to a car accident actually triggering a really bad flare of the FM - I am now having to face - either being honest about my health struggles and being taken down capacity route or not saying anything and being believed to be a fake and a shirker that doesn't care about the rest of the team )-;

I desperately do not want to give up work as it gives me a reason to get up in the morning and a sense of achievement and pride - and a sort of proof to myself that I will not be beaten by this illness.

However, I am now facing a disciplinary meeting as my employers believe that I have been able to participate in activities whilst off work that they feel does not reflect my condition.

How can I prove that just because I might be able to do something for a couple of hours when I am having a bit of respite, does not mean that can be sustained or continuous and that doing something physical does not reflect the same difficulty as having to be mentally, emotionally and physically strong for a full day and sustain that for the next 4 working days )-;

[Milynda in reply to landslider]

I very much empathise with you. I am a panel advisor and when put on the spot I cannot always recall. However I always have a backup system and know where to find things. I certainly hope that my colleagues don't have negative opinions toward disabled people. I declined the OH referral. I have been a manager and it either leads to capability dismissal or if they cannot prove that it goes to performance. You should get a representative from your trade union to help represent you. They have helped me more than anyone.

[Marie56]

Hi Milynda, I am in the same line of work as you and also a manager and sometimes a panel adviser when needed. In addition to all advice given, please consider contacting access to work if you haven’t done that yet. I recently requested a review at my workplace and they have recommended amongst further adjustments an awareness training of FM to my employers and colleagues.

I hope this helps.

[Aj4273]

How unnecessary for your colleague to feel the need to do such a thing! I am a qualified paediatric nurse and specialist community public health nurse (although no longer registered due to fibro taking my career away 😊) Anyway, I handled very large and intense caseloads day to day and even before the fibro reared it’s head it would have been impossible for me to recall every exact detail regarding individual caseloads. Yes you know the bones of each but any professional would have to refer to the notes in order to provide every intricate detail! In fact I think that you would struggle to find anyone that could immediately recall every single thing regarding one particular caseload out of the 20-30 that they were responsible for!

The incident of you having to refer to case notes is what I would call being extremely professional, adept, accurate and detailed in your work and doing your job PROPERLY!! 💕💕

[Milynda]

ThAnk you I needed that as this is making me doubt myself. I have co nsidered discussin this with my trade union as I am new to the local authority I am advising. I have been a panel advisor in another local authority for over 3 years which is after I was diagnosed with fibro.