Hi everyone!

Sorry I haven't shared much lately, however I check the news feed eery mornin cause it really helps me to keep up and feel less lonely. I have been on the roads going back and forth between cities and crushing at a different place everytime (I literally dream of a good night sleep) . Me and my husband are moving to a new city and it is actually our first real home! What is supposed to be one of the greatest moments in our life is becoming a very stressful and hard one. We have been living with our parents for about a year now after our business crashed and I keep telling to myself that we are lucky to have a family to turn to, but at the same time this experience has been physically and mentally challenging for me as I spent this last year trying to hide my pain and show that I'm doing ok ! I didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone and that made me even sicker and more useless than anytime. Having to start over while everyone keeps telling you that laziness is not helping, you just lose eery once of self esteem you ever had. So when I discovered few months ago that that laziness is actually called fibromyalgia, that made it even more complex. At least, it makes me feel less guilty and incapable to know that this is a real condition and I met more interesting people concerned about this that I have met before so I have that going for me :)

Now I just scrutinize every part of me looking for energy and strength to make a fresh start and give myself a chance to be a little more than just tired and scared but the truth is I never had been good with testing limits:)

God bless you all and thank you for being

7 Replies

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  • It is almost a relief to have a diagnosis, so now you need to learn how to pace your activity and stop being so hard on yourself. I wish you happiness in your new home and do keep looking in for lots of support from everyone. Lou xx

  • I definitely Will, thank you :)

  • I know exactly what you mean feeling a burden my partner finds it difficult to accept my illness Iv only just learnt how long it takes to recover from doing normal jobs or working in the graded I'm waiting to go to the pain clinic at the moment I hope you can pick your self up We all got to try and beat this horrible syndrome x

  • I am genuinely delighted to read that you are having your own home and a fresh start, but I am sincerely sorry to read that you are finding it all so difficult. As the others have said it can be a question of pacing yourself and realising that simple tasks can take longer and leave you exhausted and in pain. It may be beneficial to discuss this with your GP as they may be able to offer you alternative pain management?

    I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you and your husband all the best of luck in your new home.

    All my hopes and dreams for both of you

    Ken

  • Thank you so much for your support and encouragements. There is an old saying my grandma used to tell me when I complained about someone's behavior that is definitely making more sense to me now : 'may you come across people who understand you more than people who give you' So I guess you are the people my grandma was talking about :)

    Concerning medication, I'm actually not taking any! I'm planning to start treatment for my depression that is starting to take away every little piece of positiveness from me but I'm waiting to be stable to do so, otherwise I just feel that I need to stop trying to camouflage every symptom separately. At leat for now, I'm taking a break from all the pills and the 'fake' and very brief relief they give me. It is like everyday I have to deal with a different symptom and if you ask me what causes me pain the most I wouldn't be able to answer :( It is only the beginning and the road may still be long so I try to hold on as much as I can and educate myself to learn to deal with it and relativize. We'll see how long I would be able to keep up but that's it for now

    God bless you

    -k

  • I really love your grandmas saying!

  • My heart goes out to you and I send you every good wish for the future,don't be too hard on yourself,gentle hugs xxx

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