is it me or does it sound like i'm being judged here?

ok so I haven't been on for a while but I have changed doctors and i'm still getting the same thing off them "Stress".

Why won't doctor's believe me? it's as if they like to down play your symptoms so they don't have to deal with even more patient illnesses..3 times different doctors have let me down and I mean to the point of life threatening problems....1. I was told to go home and rest because I was miscarrying but a few days later I was rushed back in to the hospital because I had an ectopic pregnancy and my tube was ready to burst....2. I had rupturing appendicitis and was to told to go home and feel sorry for myself on the couch with some dried biscuits, they were convinced it was gastroenteritis and 3. my 8 year old daughter had a very serious case of bleeding in urine, stool and vomiting and despite me taking numerous samples into Alder Hey

they said the blood in her urine was medically unexplained, the blood in her poo was down to strain and the blood that she was coughing up (this is the best) was psychological and said she was biting her gums they suggested her going to young mental health team.

So after all these times I have been failed by the docs, I think to myself, if I was working and married I would never have been treated like that, they even quizzed m daughter wen I had gone home to get clean clothes...

since 2010 I have had paralysis down my left side, pins and needles in my left hand ad now the padded part of my hand is flatter than my right, I had muscle weakness in my left arm and it got to the point where I couldn't even brush my hair and I had to cut a big knot out last year...last year more new things like my eye sight getting worse and is now monitored by the hospital, the want me back again because they have seen something on my scan, I have had bladder weakness for the past 4 years and I can't empty my bladder properly, but now ive just recently had constipation, a severe migraine and muscles have gone into spasm, which they are still like that now, I hav something wrong with my gait which is why the hospital have just made me innersoles to fit ...and my cognitive function has gone down to a point were its worrying me, mostly my memory because I can be talking ten mid convo ill forget the word and wait for someone to fill in the blanks, so anyway I went to see my doctor about 3 weeks ago to tell him bout my memory and he done an Alzheimer's test on me and said the oly other thing was a psychiatrist :( so at the moment I am feeling pretty deflated having just got over another UTI an cold, i'm so tired and angry to think that changing my GP might actually help but it hasn't so you thoughts support and advice would be much appreciated at this moment ...

Thanks for reading...oh forgot to tell you all my ex (the kids dad who is working and is married) has gone to his doctor with pins and needles and is now being tested for MS his doc insisted he stay off work on the sick ...figures !!

10 Replies

  • Hi I'm very sorry to hear of the terrible time you have had and continue to have.

    I agree that different people are treated differently by Gps. Women like ourselves are often told that it's all in their heads whereas as men are often taken more seriously and diagnosed quicker. I have had Endometrosis and was undiagnosed for many yrs and now have had two ops because of it and am still going to have live with it forever. I face more operations in the future.

    I was told the severe pain I was experiencing was my fibro. It turned out to be 13cm blood filled cyst. That op was an emergency and wasn't done properly. Now less than two yrs on had a speciaist do my op and all went well but still in pain. Today I visited a physio and got trigger point needling and kinesio tape around my pelvis. The rhuemy I saw privately and on the nhs and no clue about pelvis instability or trigger points. I have got the most unfortunately out of paying for trigger point massage and what I went for today.

    I have anxiety and alot of it was blamed on that. It was a cop out for my docs to tell me I had health anxiety!!

    As for changing your Gp I would advise doing research as you could be going from the frying pan in to the fire. Not to be negative but I thought about doing the same but realised there is nowhere round me to transfer too that would treat me any better.

    A new doc has joined our practice and he is very good and knows about fibro.

    I also switched from my doc when she retired to female doc who I see most of the time and she is a lot better than the rest of them.

    So now I have the choice of two docs and when before I had none.

    I continue to be treated like scum by the rest of them.

    I hope you get some resolution to your difficulties and get some support and improvement in your symptoms.


  • Sorry re read your post and realise you changed docs.

    Ignore my rubbish advice!

    Other than that big hugs xxx

  • I am so very sorry to read of the awful time that you have experienced with doctors, and I think that bad practice is not an exclusivity to any particular group of people as I have read of so many members bad experiences and treatment from the medical profession. However, I have read some stories of wonderful medical treatment, so I think it depends on the individual doctor that you see and whether or not they are open to listen to their patients?

    I would try some of the other GP's at your surgery to see if any one of them is any better than the last one? I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck and I genuinely hope that things start to pick up for you.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • Hi, so sorry you having such a rough time.

    Don't think it is down to your personal circumstances though, I'm married & work & a mum with young daughter and have same trouble with GP. They just don't seem to like treating anything that doesn't have an easy fix. My GP puts everything down to the Fibro, but won't treat it. He misdiagnosed diseased gallbladder, symptoms of pre-cancerous polyp in colon & brain aneurysm & yet he still treats me like a hypochondriac. He has never signed me off work, even when I lost feeling in leg for 3 weeks.

    However my husband went in with back pain & he's been given 3 types of pain killer & signed off for 4 weeks. Don't think its because he's a man, but a slipped disc has a straight forward treatment & easily accepted.

    I have looked at changing GP but can't find any in area who specialises in Fibro or even have a reputation for accepting it, so think (for me) it maybe better the devil you know.

    Hope you find the support you need x

  • If your unhappy with your treatment speak to NHS England - they will provide you with a case officer who will go through your concerns with you - try to be very specific about who, when, what. They will then write to your GP and the surgery is required to investigate and justify their actions - you don't need to do anything and just in case your concerned the GP surgery can not have you taken off their list for complaining - in fact since I complained about the treatment I received at my surgery things have improved dramatically. Hope this helps.

  • You poor women I feel so sorry for you. You deserve a great big hug and buckets of sympathy and understanding. Why do some people have so much rotten luck. Please try to be strong and remember we are all here for you. Big hugs.

  • I think traditionally women have been treated as attention seeking hysterical hypochondriacs.

    Before my lupus diagnosis I was told my symptoms were all psychosomatic caused by stress. I look back and wonder how I became convinced it was all my fault. Apparently the stress was caused by my children becoming teenagers, then planning my daughter's wedding and finally "empty nest syndrome"

    I even went to counselling as I was still having symptoms. I was fortunately saved by a locum who listened without looking through my notes first and then sent off blood tests. I wasted 10 years on anti-depressants I did not need as I really did have a serious illness.

    I truly sympathise, you know your own body and it is hard to get the proper treatment when you are constantly told it's all in your head.

    And it is true, women are treated worse then men, simply because we go to the doctor's more often because of the differences in our bodies which men do not encounter.

  • You are not alone! For years I had 'palpitations' & breathlessness that I repeatedly reported to various GP's at my surgery but was ignored! I was given multiple explanations for having them... Stress...Anxiety...My age (getting older!)...Overdoing things...My asthma inhalers...& the best one - Panic Attacks!!! Hahaha.. I laugh because I was a full time working Mum who owned my own home & I know there is a HUGE difference between a Panic Attack & palpitations! I have never suffered a Panic Attack but my Sister has & believe you me, they are NOT the same thing! Eventually, I was listened to, as the palpitations & breathlessness progressed into 'funny do's' where I would be on the verge of collapse but feel extremely unwell.. losing vision, couldn't breathe, a violent sickness feeling, felt like the blood was draining from my body - just horrendous! It was actually a life-threatening heart arrhythmia & I was lucky I hadn't suffered a sudden Cardiac Arrest!!!!! I was on the verge, as I was going into VT even during my sleep!!!

    So, when you say 'they don't listen'.. I completely understand where you are coming from. This particular health incident isn't the first either!! I was a young Mum of 1 child, who had health problems (also attended Alder Hey) & because I was young was made to feel like a neurotic over-protective idiot where my Daughter's health problems were concerned! It transpired that I was not, in fact, neurotic - she was suffering from a rare Auto-Immune disorder! I have little or no faith in Doctors at all & I question everything. I do my research & speak up if I'm not happy with what I'm being told. I'm really not 'forceful' like that normally but I could have died & nobody would've known that I had been ignored! My life may not be important to anyone else BUT it is to me & my family.

    I have since changed GP's within the same surgery - I now see a lovely GP & she understands me completely. I do know that if I had to, I would move surgery if I had to. It's really important that you are listened to & understood.

    I'm sorry you are experiencing problems, it is both frustrating & upsetting & really doesn't help how you are feeling! Please battle on though, until you find a GP that will listen & hear what you are saying. Maybe a female GP within your GP surgery.. sometimes they are more sympathetic & understanding.

    Good luck & let us all know how you are progressing...

    Debs <3

  • I'd go back to another doctors and insist they help you, whether it's in your mind is by the by but to you it feels real, say you must get support you're getting really worried. I'm seeing my doctor for c.b.t but had to fight for the support which was for me useless! Hope you get the answers you need;

  • Hello Happy-Jo-Lucky, I'm really moved reading your post. I feel every empathy for you, just like everyone here, who is responding.

    Clearly you are feeling unwell, for a lot of different reasons (including the recent UTI and waiting for the hospital scan). I think you must be a remarkably strong woman to be going through all that you are...

    I'll cut to the chase, because I wish to care for your energy.

    First, you know you can trust your self, - because 3 times you've asked for help when there was a serious and real concern.

    And now you are asking for medical support and you aren't feel responded-to properly. Please don't let this deflate you.

    I want to acknowledge and validate you absolute human right to ask for the support you think you need.

    In practical terms, I'm wondering what choices you have:

    1)_ I think AuntieSue2's idea could be a wise possibility.

    2) And yes, possibly changing your Dr (if there's a choice within your surgery) or Surgery if really needed, understanding that you feel some anger around this situation.

    3) and maybe that GP is a bit out of his depth?

    4) And also, sometimes, experience shows we can sometimes experience both VERY real physical, and VERY real cognitive and emotional affects.

    If we were had a more ntegrated healthcare system, we'd have a more holistic approach for our WHOLE selves., have more holistic However we don't...and so...rather than split the physical from the cognitive and 's another perspective for you to feel what you think is wise and best for you.

    So (a) I would genuinely like to ask you- just how you are feeling with these cognitive symptoms - do you notice them affecting you every day, every hour?

    And (b) also - (without pre-guessing what answer is right for you) - simply to understand what you think, for you to feel your way with) - how would you feel about the idea of visiting the psychiatrist just one time to see what s/he says ? Of course, you might feel a straight 'no way ! ' or you might feel: , 'well, it could be useful, let's see what this Dr has to say in the WHOLE picture - without boxing you in to 'being all in the mind' OR 'all in the body' when we are actually both.

    - I wonder what you feel?

    And if you do choose to go, you could clearly voice to him/her what you are actually experiencing - and that your sense that is stems from the cognitive effects of your condition?

    I think you are a brave lady. I wish there was a wand to ease some of this suffering you are experiencing. Above all I hope that all the responses and interest is helping you feel a little more supported - and will you let us know what you decide and how it goes for you?

    Kind wishes, Rock Rose :-)

You may also like...