Life with fibro

[veggiemomma]

How and when do you accept that you will never be the person you once where?

I still wake up hoping to feel " normal", but have given up on that idea today because after hovering the front room I needed a nap.

I miss the old me!

[VonnyM]

The answer is pace. Dont do too much in one day. I had had a full week, and now despite it being near Christmas and the children have a christingle service today, i just cant go. I still get disappointed with fibro, but it is what it is

[bluejeans16 in reply to VonnyM]

I also struggle to pace myself, I think we all do. I can't do some of the things I used to do but I have just come to accept it. I work in a charity shop and used to carry heavy boxes of stock around and drag sack full of books from the shop to the stock room (it is a big shop). but now I have to get someone else to do it. This is very frustrating but there is no point killing myself!

[lou60]

You may gain from counselling, it helped me come to terms with all the lifestyle changes that we all have to make with fibro. It does take time to fully understand an illness that doesn't always show any obvious signs that we are indeed ill. Lou xx

[Hidden]

Most of the time i live with it and then i find myself thinking that i will do something i miss, `when i feel better` then i remember that just isnt going to happen and that hits me hard.

It take a mental shake and thoughts of what i can do to bring me out of it.

[Hidden]

As other people have said you need to pace yourself and try not to overdo it, so hoover the front room then sit down for a rest before you carry on to next job, also get help with chores that tax you too much, if you can that is. Eventually although i still think about what i could do acceptance is a great help. Then you can take on a new way of Life and then it becomes the norm. Try to look at the things you can do even if it takes you twice as long to do and find new ways of achieving your goals, plenty of PMA (positive mental attitude). I too miss the old me but today with Fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis I am just me, who needs longer to do things and I ask my hubby for help when I need it, he doesn't always understand but he does his best. Sorry rabbled a bit but hope you get my jist

Take care Sue x

[Lruk]

I wish I knew the answer to your question. Pacing is certainly something that I am very slowly getting better at but, like you, I miss the old me and many of the things I used to be able to do. I do try not to dwell on it too much, because I find it very upsetting and depressing. Acceptance is not coming easily, though I am trying to learn to live with it and be happy with the things I can still do. Maybe counselling is what I need, I don't know. If you do manage to find the answer please share. Linda

[suenew]

I said to my doctor in tears I just want a day off. Just to be fit and well sometimes. Its no wonder depression goes with fibro

[veggiemomma]

Thanks for all the help. I try to stay positive, but have never been very good at it.

Will look into the counselling I think, and try to get used to this new life.

Happy Christmas to you all, and a better New year!

Cid x

[lynzard in reply to veggiemomma]

Hi veggiemomma

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way and totally understand what you are saying. Its so hard accepting and dealing with the loss of who you once were isn't it and the realisation that you are highly likely not to get back to the old you can be painful to cope with. As others have said pacing can help..tho often just doing nothing can result in feeling dreadful...but it doesn't help much with the emotional side of things and the scary thought that it aint gonna get any better.

Counselling could hopefully help you to feel better about things.

Take care

Lyn xxx

[TheAuthor]

Hi veggiemomma

As the others have already said, pacing yourself is probably the best way to go? I understand that it is not easy, I think that we all do? However, I know what you mean, I really miss the life that I use to have!

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Burda]

I find it hard to remember the old me now, it's been so long, I lie in bed on sleep less nights trying to remember but even that is all foggy now. So now I try to live in the here and now but yes I bet we all look back and try to think when did it start, how was it a virus etc

[aura2]

Very hard one acceptance is the answer but so hold to get there. Pacing , I find is the only way to have a good life. I just call my life before as my other life , it is almost like I have been two people and lead to different lives.

[Peace2014]

I'm afraid it is about pacing. I work two long days and it takes my day off to recover. I miss walking over hills the most. I am new to fibro and it came on suddenly one week I just couldn't do my usual walk to work which I had done for the last eight years. Have had 6 sessions of counselling which helped and was told to practice mindfulness, which has helped.

[beckyglen]

I know how you feel! I keep hope and praying for the old me to come back I don't know how or when I will be able to accept myself as I am now. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and I keep thinking that I'm starting to accept things but then I end up going back a few steps.

I'm so sorry that you are struggling and I hope that some of the lovely people on this site can give you some advice that will help.

All I can say is try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else in your situation. And try to laugh as much as possible.

Sending you lots of hugs

Becky xxx