it started out quite good. Was in little pain so was pottering about doing some bits.
Now its all gone wrong.
My boyfriend suffers with depression, has done for years. He used to take anti depressants but stopped them a while back. Most of tge time he is ok but once a month (almost to the calender date) he has this sleeping thing where he sleeps for 3 or 4 days straight. It comes with bad temper problems and a cold callous attitude.
I have been with him for 20 years so know him better than he knows himself and I know he genuinely cant help it. What he can help however is when he is back to normal going to docs and seeking help for it.
insted he doesnt as he is fine by then...until next time!
like now for instance.
He has been getting more and more down with our situation. People chasing us for money, him working and wages not meeting half our bills then there is the council people being so unhelpful with regards to our situation and are taking us to court at the end of tge month for missed payments. Despite making them offer after offer.
its just got too much. Then ther is , of course me, a burden on a good day. My wage loss has had such an impact and my insomnia combinef with my pain makes him worry so much.
Today, just before walking out the door he announced he is fed up of everything, this existance, waiting for someone to take the house and the only thing to look forward to is death!!!! Great!!!!
melodramatic but he has a point.
I have no idea how to deal with this anymore. Am so lost.
Have been waiting for my PIP for nearly 5 months and have heard nothing. Why do the Gov think this is ok? What do they think we do in the meantime?
This is my life not something for them to play with at their leisure.
Why do I need to be out of work for 6 months before they decide I may... not definately, but may need help!!
so so sick of this. Cant see any light.
if I had any other illness or whatever then I would have been helped but with this I am stuck. There is no guarantee that they will help. In fact records show they will prob say no. That means going through the appeal process. Wait another 4 months. I the mean time someone will probably have taken the house.
Please ignore me. I am feeling very sorry for myself and I just need to speak (or type) to let some of it out.
if you have read this thank ypu for listening.
Em xx
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Hello Em sorry you are going through all this. I don't have all the answers, have you been to CAB for advice they can advise on all matters legal and financial, just a thought. Wishing all the best. Lou xx
Hi Em, so sorry to hear of all you are suffering. Please don't ever worry about having a rant or moan on here. No one deserves to be ignored and no one on here will ever be ignored. You certainly do not deserve to be treated so callously by the dwp and the council. Have you been to CAB? I'm sorry I cannot think of any other organisations that could help you, but there are links on the fibroaction website that could help you, plus there are people on here that will be able to help you practilay. Meanwhile, I would just likd to say that I will be thinking of you and send you positive thoughts and lots of love. Big, Gentle Hugs, Julie xxx
Just replied to Lou saying They were less than useless.
All that time tying to get an app then spent hours in there while he fumbled about on the computer asking google stuff!
Would have been more informative going to the local subway shop amd asking a random stranger !
Hi Em
I'm sorry to hear what a rough time you're having. I have a great deal of empathy for you on many levels.
Do you think your partner would go and visit someone from MIND the mental health organisation?
Is your partner on antidepressants? I'm guessing not. If you made an appointment for him (and you) at your surgery would he attend the appointment? By the sound of it he may well benefit from some form of medication. Maybe even just some meds to level out his mood.
Please accept my apologies if I'm suggesting things you've already tried. I'm just trying to help.
The CAB is very definitely your best starting point with regard to your house.
Have you checked you're receiving all the benefits you're entitled to? The CAB can do a check to see if you are getting all the help you can.
I don't want to swamp you with suggestions but I do have some other thoughts that may help.
Please feel free to private message me if you wish.
Get back to me if/when you can and we can build some form of starting point for you. I'm hoping that if we can form a plan of action together it will help you to get your thoughts in order.
I am so sorry to read that you have found yourself in such an untenable situation, and I genuinely hope that you do not find yourself being in court over rent arrears. In all probability, you will not be evicted from your home, you will be served with a Notice Of Seeking Possession Order whereby the local authority will come to an agreement with the court for an amount that you can sustain repayments for?
I would definitely seek legal advice via the CAB and see if they have somebody available to speak on your behalf with the court to liaise and help arrange a repayment schedule for you.
I have pasted you some links below from Shelter and the GOV.UK Website pertaining to tenants rights. As disabled tenants do have tenant rights, and most council properties are on a secured tenancy. Regardless of whther or not you are registered disabled at this time, Fibro is recognised as a disability under the Equalities Act 2012
I want to wish you all the best of luck with your situation, and I genuinely hope that you can find the answers that you so desperately desire and deserve.
I am in a part rent part buy house. So itbis mortgage as well as rent to housing association.
They are not so kind anymore as we have broken payment agreements due to partner being off sick before amd he doesnt get paid for it so his low wage becomes even lower so we just couldn't afford it. Despite talking to them they are quite unforgiving.
The CAB have been as useful as a chocolate teapot (and even that has 1 use)
They spent ages looking up fibro then aftera couple of hours the ONLY thing they did for me was send me home with a written address of what to type in tge benefits section of the .gov website. Great!!!
Well, I am just going to address one part of your post. I'm bipolar 1, diagnosed in 1978. I had some depression since but no problems/mania/psychosis till 2005. During a lucid moment in a crisis house I made up a list of 4 people very close to me who agreed to intervene (provided I was in reach).
Would it be possible for you to get together a group who could reach him and get him to accept treatment again? He puts you through hell, even if it for a short time. It isn't like you don't have enough suffering without this - it must add to your own depression which has to last for more than 3 or 4 days as you try to understand what is going on with him.
Remember, I was 25 years before my worst side resurfaced and I did an incredible amount of damage to myself and others during that time. Also, this is extremely serious that he might be considering taking his own life. Even if he is just being melodramatic, it is not to be trifled with.
I wish you the best with your whole situation. I understand and won't bore you with any details.
I was going to also advise applying for tax credits as p1pp1ns suggested and also apply for ESA (if you havent already). Maybe write to your MP explaining your situation and how long you have waited for PIP to see if this will move things along quicker. If you get pip dailyliving component your partner may be able to claim carers. Has your partner claimed PIP too as it might be worth considering? I too have found CAB unhelpful but sometimes local councils have money advice centres which are helpful so might be worth checking with your local council and while there ask if you can get help with your council tax or if payments can be lowered, sometimes they will lower monthly payments and take it over a longer period which gives you a bit of breathing space . If you are on a low income you may get prescription charges reduced on NHS website there is alow income scheme Phone 0300 330 1343 for the Low Income Scheme help line. Your Housing association should have help for people struggling to pay rent so might be worth checking out their website. Its no wonder your partner is struggling with depression and you are feeling unwell with the stress you have. I hope you find some of this helpful and you get some help soon. Gentle hugs Joolz.x
So Sorry Sweetheart!!! Your boyfriend may have something serious going on. He should really get it checked out. I was watching a program called Mystery Diagnosis and although I can't remember what was wrong due to fibro fog and my memory it turned out that the person was ill with something that was treatable. Anyway I hope and pray you hear something soon on your pip. I leave in the states and it's the same way here also. I was very fortunate as I got my disability on the first go around. Hang in there sweetheart!!! You are in my thoughts and prayer's!!! xxxx Mitzi
So so sorry to hear what's happening to you. Sounds as though you both have real big problems. Can't help much with the money stuff except refer tou to the brilliant website Benefits and work. They not only listen but have loads of stuff to help you wade through the minefield of applications for help, benefits etc. Google them and I hope I can promise you won't look back. It will take hard work but with their support you will so it. I can sympathise in the meantime on a personal level. Don't despIr. When it's bad, get on here and someone will hold you up
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