Chicken or the egg?

[tulips123]

Looking back to childhood, regular visits to gp, 'growing pains','migraine?'IBS,alopecia,'highly strung' etc etc. These days some things would have raised red flags. Sets up for progression through adulthood. Anytime life's stresses and strains, more serious events, to mental health. Still no light. Auto immune? At last! A gp who cares enough, understands, well informed, open to new ideas-trained acupuncture. Medical advances. Now here we are. We understand so much more about the processes that brings so much pain, fatigue and a whole list of other conditions. I can't help wondering, what was the point of no return? Child in distress. Rescued in time? We live in a different age, supposedly an age of enlightment. But this is just my story. Perhaps many people can relate,or at least look back to a moment in time when things started to go wrong. I know someone who is plagued by FM, following 2 road accidents within a year. I am sorry, episodes of depression which are tough to fight. What iffs are often a waste of time and energy. Maybe I am more aware, and at one time it did seem to help. I still can't control the after affects. That's frustrating.

This website is an amazing phenomena, with so many people struggling and in pain, but still so supportive and of course understanding of each other. This post started on a theme that feels like it took on a path of its own, and I feel a degree of relief. That's what its about, thank you and I wish you all the best you can be. Well done guys. Tulip xx

[Hidden]

I think its easy to fall into a downward spiral and everything falls apart. You can know what you need but it can still evade you. So everyone needs a break, some help so they can start a positive upward spiral. I'm glad you're getting help. My very slow upward journey is thanks to a compassionate GP, angelic physio, a wise mindfulness teacher and the most amazing Alexander T. teacher. Whilst I've yet to deal with the fall out from the black years, I have greater acceptance that life throws curve balls and we do the best we can. Best of luck on your journey.

[tulips123 in reply to Hidden]

Mindfulness, blast from the past! Good idea, it can slow the racing mind. Just what I need right now. So many years to get this far, so many kind but ignorant (I don't mean that negatively) doctors. I think it would be good to try the mindfulness, might aid the restful sleep I'm looking for. Thank you and g'night Tulip xx

[TheAuthor]

Hi tulips123

I have read your post with so much sorrow for what you have endured and come out of, on the other side. Please remember that you are victorious! As you have survived trauma and turmoil, adversity and animosity! So you are a winner!

I have always believed that our lives need focus and balance for us to move on and to achieve greater things. If the centre is damaged and cannot hold then the rest will fall apart. I have read so many posts from members that have endured such trauma and heartache, but like the phoenix they have arisen from their own ashes and rebuilt but at a price, and the price was Fibro!

It is now my greatest hope in life that we all can be spared the pain, fatigued and misery of Fibro, and I will always hold the hope that this is achievable. As hope is the greatest gift that humanity holds in its heart.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

[tulips123 in reply to TheAuthor]

Thank you you have a kind and empathic heart. Much appreciated. Tulip x

[fenbadger]

I wonder if you feel you've come out stronger because of it? That's quite a lot to undergo and it's a crime we should still have to put up with so much in this age of "enlightenment" but it seems we still have a long way to go. Unfortunately resources are in short supply. I've had a couple of episodes where physio would have helped - if only the waiting list was shorter.

[tulips123 in reply to fenbadger]

I'm not sure about stronger, def. more aware. I've spent many years looking for answers, every time I find an answer I relax for a while. Then I look around me and see more I don't understand, far too many of us, for whatever reason, living and struggling. You know if you had seen a physio when you needed to, it would have helped. You can't book in advance for something like that. Its just wrong. We live in a wealthy enough country to be able to help. Its relatively simple. Painful for you, but not advanced medical treatment costing millions it doesn't make sense. We have to be strong people don't we? I just wish I could get off the rollercoaster, I never had the stomach for it! Sleep well tonight. Tulip xx

[fenbadger in reply to tulips123]

I meant mentally as much as physically, and you saying more aware confirms that.

When I first saw the surgeon about my knee he offered physio. Next time I saw him he said how's the physio. I said, haven't had any. He then said, well the joint's gone too far now, we need to operate. D'oh.

Mind, when I did get up there, there's a notice saying 99 people failed to turn up for appointments and there's a waiting list of 256. So if those who don't want treatment said so the waiting list could be nearly halved

[mitziblue]

You know I had RLS when I was a child and cried myself to sleep a lot of nights. Then I had a fractured skull when I was about 9 years old. Then was abused (sexual) at age 10. Later at 20 I was raped repeatedly and so maybe it really does have something to do with childhood trauma? Thanks for your post Sweetheart , it makes one stop and wonder!!! xxx Mitzi

[tulips123 in reply to mitziblue]

I'm sure these terrible things must have an impact. Some people turn into monsters themselves, some find it tough to form normal relationships, some turn in on themselves. Not much joy there really. I have come through with small but precious family, few but amazing lifelong friends. It doesn't seem so bad when I consider other options. I wouldn't swap them for anything! Have a good night, wish you well. Tulip xx

[mitziblue in reply to tulips123]

You are so right sweetheart. I've lost all my family except one uncle and my daughter. She lives 11 hours away. I haven't seen her in 3 years. I miss her terribly and am going to see her soon. I think everything I've been through got me where I am and made me into a better person. Hope you are feeling as well as possible. xxx Mitzi

[tulips123 in reply to mitziblue]

Totally agree. Looking at the mixed bag that is humanity, with all my imperfections I would prefer to be me, with the ability to look around me and feel for my fellow sufferers.

Enjoy your time with your daughter, after 3 years that's precious indeed. Sleep well tonight. Tulip xx

[mitziblue in reply to tulips123]

Thank you Sweetheart. Hope you have a wonderful, and restful night as well. xx Mitzi