Do i resign this week.. cant take anymore of this pain.

[irish-coleen]

Hi everyone. I returned to work 5 months ago and im still in so much daily pain. My days off are spent recovering to try get a manageable level which never happens. My work have made all the adjustments they can. If i phone in sick again they have said i need to resign r be dismissed. Im waitinv on atos doc visit in next few weeks. But im afriad if i resign im making myself volountary unemployed and this would affect benefits i would have to try and apply for. Im on heavy meds but they are not working ive a doctors app with my gp on monday and she wanted to sign me off work for good last oct but i didnt want to let this illness and pain win. Ive oesto in my spine. Fibro and deprrssion and anxiety. Can someone advise asap please x

[jillylin]

Wish I knew the best answer here but I don't. Just wanted to send a hug to you.

Hugs

Jillyxx

[Lruk]

Mags, I wouldn't resign on any grounds, if they must let them dismiss you, that won't affect your benefits. I would ask your GP to sign you off with immediate affect and then let your employers know that you won't be resigning. I have been lucky in a way that my emlpoyers have put me forward for early retirement on medical grounds, though it is still a work in progress, but i am absolutely gutted that I am now unable to do a job I trained so hard for and love so much. Your local citizen's advice office would be able to give you more help and advice and I wish you good luck, Linda.

[bren876]

Hi

Lruk has given you brilliant advice.

I also returned to work on a three day week but i could'nt cope with the pain, my doctor signed me off again and was put back on SSP, after SSP runs out you can go onto ESA.

My company then sent me to an in-dependent doc who asked lots of questions and then sent a report back to my companies HR department which confirmed that i was unfit for work...

They cant dismiss you they have to follow the rules other wise you can sue them under the disability act, they wont take that risk so please dont be scared or forced into walking out, get yourself signed off sick now and rest..

sorry for going on but the rules are there to protect you.

Look at unfit to work website and your then know your rights,,

Good luck and gentle hugs, viv xxx

[hamble99b in reply to bren876]

I agree with lruk and bren. don't let them push you to resign, let the gp sign you off and then work can follow the procedures.

let us know please.

[irish-coleen in reply to hamble99b]

Hi hamble. Thanks for your advice. I knw my days of struggling to hold dwn a job are over. I cant fight anymore. Im seeing my doc on mon but am due into wrk all weekend. My spinal and bavk pain is through the roof and when i try to walk my toes are going into cramps.and curling backwards. I just get so stressed having to phn in . Myfamily said im not going back but do i tell wrk this? Im so confused. I knw people are advising not to resign but if i phn mu manager before i see my doc on mondsy they will ask am i handing my notice in. Im not strong enough i dnt think to stand up to thrm but knw i physically cant get in this weekend xx hugs to you xx

[hamble99b in reply to irish-coleen]

Tell work no you are ill not resiigning. Ask gp's if you can see him for emergency appt.

Take care,

hamble

[irish-coleen in reply to hamble99b]

Hi hamble. Thanks for replying.. i got a fit in this morn woith a locum doc who give me a line for 4 weeks amd still to keep my own app with my gp on mon. Im tryimg to pluck up the courage but if my manager asks will i b bk in 4 weeks do i dnt want to mislead them and say yes when i knw im at thr end of my rope now xx

[hamble99b in reply to irish-coleen]

you could say "hopefully". No-one, not even your manager, could guarrantee that they will be fit for work in 4 weeks,

[irish-coleen in reply to hamble99b]

Ok thankyou. Im really panicking. Its awful how we r madr to feel with genuine illnesses. I hope u r having a good day with psin etc x

[Ginsing]

Afternoon Can you bring your Doctors appointment forward? I think the way forward is to be signed off work permanently. Then you can rest and start sorting yourself out. Be strong takecare

xgins

[Hidden]

gov.uk know your rights

If you look at this it explains that fibro is classed as

A disability so they have to be very careful if they sack

You.

Do not give in your notice some times it takes months

To sack you and if they don't do it correctly you then

Can take them to a unfair dismissal claim,

I can understand that it's hard for you I have the same

Problems but just take it from day to day.

I think it's stressful for you go to the CAB they may help

You or just wait and see how your employer deals with

This but do not resign as you will not be able to sign on.

Viv

[irish-coleen]

Hi everyone thanks for taking the time to reply. I am unsure about what to do for my next day in wrk and i cant bring my appointment forward with my gp. I was in so much pain yesterday my colleagues were all saying how ill i looked. The dept i had moved to 5 months ago was less physical but ididnt realise how stressful it was. So my flare of fibro started up again with stress and spinal pain.. i cant even get out of wrk in time and yesterday i was supposed to fin at 6 but had to stay to 7.30pm from yest morn as they had done the rota wrong. I just feel like i cant take much more. Ive bn fighting dla since i applied last year in oct on the advice of my doc. Im afraid if i phn in sick sat and sun i will be pushed into saying im resigning on the phone. But i knw im not fit to go back even for 2 days. Hugs to u all x

[TheAuthor]

Hi mags1970

I think that you have been given some wonderful advice form the members. I would emphasise this here by saying do not resign and get signed off work by your GP. If your employer decides to displace you then at least you could apply for ESA?

I want to wish you all the best of luck

Ken x

[irish-coleen in reply to TheAuthor]

Hi ken thanks for replying. Do you think i should struggle in at the weekend if i can mamage it and wait to see my doc on mon? I knw if i phn in without seeing my doc before monday the attitude i will get on the phone. Ive wrkd threr 18 years and struggled with bouts of absense this last 7 years. Im in bed but only sleep 2 hours a night if im lucky.. my pain in unbearable todsy. Even with morphine patches. Codeine. Naproxen and nortripilne. My body is on fire with pain. Hope ur having a good day

[TheAuthor]

If you can physically manage to do this, I personally would, but please do not do anything that will make you physically worse? If your GP signs you off, you will at least have an income coming in until you can get any other benefits sorted out.

There really are times when life does not feel fair? You have worked all of these years and I can tell that you just want to do the right thing! However, I sincerely believe that you need to make yourself your number one priority at this time. Your illness will not start to improve until you have a good rest.

Good luck

Ken

[bren876]

please call your doctors surgery and tell the receptionist you need to talk to the doctor by phone if you cant get an appointment, the doctor can then sign you off sick, and remember your 1st 3 days sickness dose'nt need a sick note.

Please take care and remember your health comes FIRST....

gentle hugs xx

[Sarah-Jane]

I really feel for you. I am in a similar situation but not nearly so bad. Please listen to the advice given on here. That is why you asked and its what you need. You cannot do your work properly if you are feeling so bad so don't feel guilty. It doesn't sound like work have made reasonable adjustments for you either as you moved to make it possible to do your work but are working longer more stressful hours! Please, go to bed, look after yourself and use the telephone to talk to your doctor. You will end up in hospital if you are not careful. Do not go into work, please. Ring work, explain that you won't be in - that's only fair - then stay away until you are well enough to be in. If it was contagious you would not feel so bad taking the time off. You do not have a choice. I think I may end up the same way as my flare up seems to be getting worse, but you are already there. Please, do not resign, take the time off and maybe see your doctor/employer next week and talk things through having given yourself time to recover. You have overdone things. Now be kind to yourself.

Soft hugs

[irish-coleen in reply to Sarah-Jane]

Hi sarah jane. Im so sorry you are suffering a similar flare. I hope you look after yoursef also. My gp told me in oct instead of working to live, i was living to work. She said i should call it a day then but due to pressure from my employer about when i was coming back to work and worrying about finances i thought i could manage. Work would say they have made all the reasonable adjustments and when i returned in jan this year they told me tgey cant accomodate me anywhere else but the dept they moved me to i very stressful in finance and they are penilising staff and putting them under all sorts of pressure if they make a mistake. I find myself lying awake at nights. Heart pounding incase ive made a mistake that day..due to pain and fog. Do u think if i phn in sick b4 i see my gp on mon they could ask me on thr phn to resign? Sorry for questions. If i can help you with anything please ask.. i hope u feel better soon xxx

[irish-coleen]

Hi ken, yes you are right life just seems unfair at times. My pain is def made physically worse by working but i can see where u are coming from. My family dont want me to do it anymore.

Bren thanks for your advice. I will try to get a phone call but i have an app on monday with my gp.i get so stressed having to make the call into work i take an anxiety attack. Its awful being genuinelly ill but trying to keep pushing through in denial but your right its time to think of num 1.. hugs to u x

[Shazzzy]

Hi Mags, sorry to hear your troubles. I agree with dveryone else do not resign. You can ring the surgery and ask for a telephone appointment, I have had to do this as physically unable to get in for appointment, then discuss with your doctor. All the best.

[fibro10]

Hi mags1970 Don't resign let your doctor give you sick notes until they dismiss you. I was in your situation the end of 2012 but under advice waited until they finished me on medical grounds witch went in my favour when claiming esa I understand you didn't want this illness to win. i was in the same shoes as you I loved my job but in the end the pain-not sleeping-then so tied in the day going work bed could not do my job fully it got too much to carry on when I was finished it took away added stress as don't know about you but I got to the point I hated answering the phone as work would ring asking for a date to come back or send a letter a week before to say they were coming out to see me which I would get myself in a right state as know one can see the pain your in day and night . I do feel for you dearly please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Good look and hugs xxx

[irish-coleen in reply to fibro10]

Hi fibro10. Thankyou. Im glad you got sorted in the end. My work is exactly the same with pressure to see when im coming back when i was absent before. I felt a failure for my family if i give up so tried to continue. Im just so anxious now reading through my last letter that reverts back to a meeting with my manager on my return to work in jan where it says if this dept didnt work out then i would resign. Now they have this signed by me. Even though they didnt tell me how stressful the dept was and i nvr got out on time at night due to not being able to leave until all work was complte xx

[Willow51]

Hi mags, I can only agree with what everyone else has put on here. The only thing I can add is whether a member of your family could ring in sick to your employer for you. I know it's a horrible feeling when they are putting you under pressure but you mustn't give in to them. As for the letter you signed back in January, as you didn't know the nature of the work being so stressful when you signed it I doubt that the letter could be taken into account. I am sure someone would correct me if I am wrong on that, keep us updated on how you get on, Linda x

[irish-coleen]

Hi linda. Thanks for your advice. I really cant think straight at the min. Im all over the place emotionally. I managed to get a fit in with at my doc this morn but it was a locum doc who give me a line for 4 weeks stating fibro. She said to still keep my app with my own gp on monday. Im tryimg to pluck up the courage to phm wrk but im taking a panic attack each time i try. Unfortunley no one else is allowed to phn in for u. So i have to do it myself.. do i say im intending coming back even if i kne im not r can i ask for ill health dismissal to be started?? Hugs to u xx

[fibro10 in reply to irish-coleen]

Hi mags don't make any promises you carnt keep I do truly understand about the panic to make the phone call to work. Could you ask a family member or close friend to be their with you just for support when making the call as dont no about you but I would get myself that worked up I would end up in tears. And remember you sighed that in January when you felt a little better this is now they can not use that against you as long as you sending sick notes in. The only other thing they may do is arrange for you to have a medical until they finish you on medical grounds some work places do some don't but what ever you do don't you give your be forced to resign wish you look fibro10 xx

[irish-coleen in reply to fibro10]

Hi fibro10. Thankyou. I managed to phone into wrk this morn with the support of family and i didnt get to speak to my own manager as they have changed the process for phning in sick and each manager takes a day to take the calls. So im expecting a phone call back from my own manager so still anxious witj palpatations..u sound very like me i have ended in tears on the phn and in meetings many times. I am going to try and get a little sleep as i was awake all night worrying. I wish i was the type of person who could even take 1 day at a time. The nxt lot of weeks im dreading as ive all this with wrk now and an atos visit coming up.. i hope u have a nice pain free day.. big hugs xx

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi, how are you today? My sister is like you - a real worrier- please try not to get yourself worked up as it will make things worse. I am currently trying to find ways to stay calm and relax. My dog is busy snoring next to me. Try not to think about work when you are off. Find something relaxing to do that will keep you busy. I hope things improve for you soon. Soft hugs

[irish-coleen in reply to Sarah-Jane]

Hi sarah-jane.thanks for asking. Im still very stressed and worked up. Its just my personality.i knw i cant change the outcome of anything to do with work or my atos visit.. my manager didnt phone me back which is also concerning me. That never happens. Im expecting a letter soon summoning me to a meeting., and to top it all off ive received a letter saying the chronic pain management programme that i was supposed to start soon is put back to sept.. i hope ur managing to keep yourself calm. Ah ur dog snoring lol. My dog is 15 now but not in good health but tries to run up and down stairs like hes in a greyhound race lol.. keep in touch.. gentle hugs xx

[Hidden]

don`t resign get them to sack you due to ill health not fit to work