Just one more before bed.

[tettridge]

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap..

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.

At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.

At age 35 success is . . .. .having money.

At age 50 success is . .. . Having money.

At age 70 success is . ........ . Having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.

At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;

BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take care and the kindest of regards

Terry

[hamble99b]

like it!

[Shazzzy]

Omg, Terry thats briliant, love the nailing jelly to a wall line and not peeing your pants, sounds like my life !?

[Shazzzy]

Forgot to ask, how you doing, i see you can type ok, hope everything else is back in order, or heading that way.

[tettridge in reply to Shazzzy]

Ah, I do tend to Copy and Paste because my typing leaves a lot to be desired in the speed stakes, without the backspace it would take twice as long as normal, the other thing is the spell check, another lifesaver..

So now you know that I am a cheat and this is not all my writing (apart from this).

Take care and Kindest regards

Terry

[Shazzzy in reply to tettridge]

Hey Terry, compared to me an what i can do on my lttle tablet, copy an paste makes you an expert not a fraud !

All the best.

[TheAuthor]

Fantastic Terry, I really love this one my friend!

Thank you so much for a good old fashioned belly laugh!

[Hidden]

Like this so much I am gonna nick a copy for my pinterest board.

thanks sue xx

[Hidden]

Really enjoyed that one

[Durham-Lass]

All too true. Thanks for making me chuckle again.

[nedd]

X thanks X

[Angel2]

Brill!! Or is it slightly concerning I was nodding ALOT when reading it!!!! thank you Tettridge x

[lilian68]

really enjoyed it got a good laugh thanks terry.x