Hi all im wondering is it all worth it i have had enough of this condition i jus cnt take it anymore i have had this since i was 17.im tired

[Emzy123]

I jus need help i am struggling to see the point of exsisting at all im a nurse n i feel i am jus useless x

[Mdaisy]

Hello Emzy123,

We've all had times like this and although it doesn't help you right now, it may be comforting to know it's natural and we understand as we've all been low at some point. Fibromyalgia is a difficult health problem to battle with and you obviously been living with it a long time and so you'll know it's ups & downs. You may be experiencing increased symptoms at the moment or problems at work causing you stress impacting on your condition which is causing you to see a hurdle in the road.

Together we'll try to support you and point you in the direction of advice which may make things feel a little better and make the hurdle a little smaller so you can step over it.

Please know we are here and so are the Samaritans if you need them;

08457 90 90 90

samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

Thinking of you

Emma

P.S By the way I'm an ex nurse, and my fella calls me Emzy and I have Fibro too, hope to speak soon

[TheAuthor]

Hi Emzy123

I read your post with a great amount of pain and sorrow for your current plight, I understand only too well what you are going through and how it will affect all of us sufferers at certain times in our lives. I truly believe that we are all valuable human beings with the ability to love and to laugh. You are clearly not useless, you are clearly a wonderful, beautiful human being who cares about others and that's why you became a nurse, to help others.

Mdaisy has posted you the details for the Samaritans, please reach out to them and tell them exactly how you feel. You have already taken the first step with this post. If you ever need a friend just post me and I promise that I will read and reply, you have my word on this.

Take care and I sincerely hope that you can find the resolution that you clearly deserve to your situation.

Ken

[Hidden]

hi Emzy, just sending you lot of hugs to help you through ...sue x

[bbstport]

hi emzy, I hope that you talk with someone about exactly the way you feel as you are not worthless. if you feel that you cannot speak to friend/family/colleague/doctor please contact the Samaritans. they will let you get it all out of your system and then you may feel strong enough to get further help

hugs

belinda

[Ginsing]

Morning Emzy,

Bear up there is always friend on hand should you need us if it helps pm me and we will have a chat though if you need them ring the Samaritans have a chat with them

gentle hugs xxgins

[Hidden]

Hi Emzy

It takes its toll on us doesn't it, this illness, and drags us into depression and am sorry you're trying to cope with that at the moment. Having life on a yo-yo from feeling ok to feeling awful for a long time will always have an effect I have dealt with long term chronic pain also and often wish the yo-yo would snap so I could sit still and recouperate

Emma has given you the best advice hunny if you feel really low please contact the Samaritans.

We all get to that point at some time another and we're here to help support, advice and guide you There's always someone listening here but occasionally seeking help from your GP with referral for counselling can also be very beneficial.

Let your GP and family know that you're finding things difficult at the moment too, they can help you if you tell them you need it. Also, do you have a local MIND centre? That's an excellent place to go to too

Sending you huge Sunshiny Fluffie cuddles and hope things get brighter for you soon

Keep strong and don't lose hope or faith hunny

xxxsianxxx

[jillylin]

Gentle hugs Emsy,

yes life is still worth it. I think everyone here can relate to what you are saying. This Fibro ebbs and flows and you will get these lows but also you will pick up at other times. Why not pop along to your GP and tell him/her how you are feeling? They can help. Chronic pain can really bring our mood down. And it isn't a sign of being whimp to ask for help. You can't tell your GP anything they haven't heard before and they can help you.

Hope you feel brighter soon and remember we are all here when you need to vent or just have a shoulder to cry on.

very gentle hugs

Jillyxx

[peaceandserenity]

Hi Emsy

As others have expressed living with chronic pain and fatigue affects all aspects of our life but it can really help to talk to people who can truly empathise - please reach out to people to talk about how you feel and keep searching for help and support and always remember you are valuable, and your life is worth living. I too am a nurse and I have had to make big changes to find something which, whilst still a struggle, I can cope with, so in addition to the GP, MIND and Samaritans (not instead) the RCN may be able to offer you on-going help and support. Please take care, hugs Moira xx

[vixen49]

Hi Emzy123 I no how you feel honey I'm the same you feel your useless at everything but your not I get told off by my kids sometimes when carrying bags I also was a nurse in residental homes then I gave that up to look after my mum-n-law who was disabled.I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 3 months ago but I had this condition since 2009 but I put it down to me getting older anyway honey just remember your not useless your good at what you do just take everything easy warmest hugs honey .Ros xx

[shelbie]

Hi just wanted to let you know your not alone, I'm a live in Carer also suffer with fibro chronic pain etc and I'm going through a really bad time with you, I'm at the lowest I've ever been in my life. Things hopefully will pick up for us xxx

[angib53]

I too know how you feel , im sending a big hug to you hun, love angie x

[tettridge]

Hi Emzy123

Let be clear, NO ONE IS WORTHLESS. You are suffering with one of the worst illness in the world, you look fine but feel terrible pain and every joint or even the skin sometimes hurts and yet most of our closest friends an family

have no idea what we are going through.

We take all this pain and are supposed to behave as if nothing is wrong. I can go maybe a day or two when I can do things but that will leave me absolutely totalled for two or three days, my wife and daughter are great but I feel I must fight this but at the moment it is winning, especially with this weather being so bad. All I am doing is hoping for some good weather as that does help a bit, but if it is changeable then that is worse as now we have sun and rain constantly (OK more rain than sun) so I do know what you are feeling as the pain is getting worse daily it seems, with little relief from the medication.

Try to thing of something positive in your life that you can work toward, for me it is a holiday in the sun, but you can try anything (so long as it is achievable)

But if things are to bad then do see your doctor or ring the Samaritans as people have suggested as they will help you and they are also people who you can express exactly how you feel.

Take care and Kindest regards

Terry

[maawasam]

Hi Emzy123, I'm so touched by your post & just wanted you to know we love you & understand. Just want to send you lots of hugs. xx

[loppyloo61]

Hi Emzy,

I can totally identify with how you feel right now! I profoundly agree with the sound advice of all the other members. Most of us have felt the way you do @ this moment in time!

TRUST ME YOU ARE NOT USELESS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!!

I can identify with you because @ Christmas time/New Year, I felt exactly the same. A burden to my loving husband and 3 wonderful grown up children,

PLEASE do as suggested, get some help, Like advice of contacting the Samaritans,or from personal experience I cannot recommend MIND if you have one locally. Even your GP, be honest with him/her, tell them, who ever you exactly how you are feeling and they can find the for right Professionals to help you through this "NIGHT MARE" you are currently in!!

I don"t want to insult your intelligence, as you being a Nurse probably know all that I have said!

The main reason I posted you was, I felt like this (as I said), the depression took me so far down, I had planned to take my own life. I was"nt thinking rationally, that all I could see for the future was pain, more pain, misery, being a burden to my family, as each day I loose a little bit more of my independence!

It came to the point that I honestly thought I would be doing every one the biggest favour, if I did take my own life!!

I am only telling you this as I did try take the car out to carry out my plan. Someone Up There IS looking after me, I had a chest infection/Pleurisy/UTI and I was just to weak to even pull the hand brake off, could"nt even drive the car!

Consequently I felt even more of a failure!!!

BUT THANK THE LORD!! I DID SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP (MIND ARE BRILLIANT AS FIRST PORT OF CALL AND ACT VERY QUICKLY!!)

i GUESS WHAT i AM TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU IS THAT I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL THAT I DID"NT/COULD"NT DO ANYTHING STUPID, NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS WORTH GOING DOWN AS FAR AS I DID!!!

I URGE YOU TO SEEK HELP OF WHAT EVER KIND. LIFE IS DEFINITELY WORTH LIVING, I CAN SEE THAT KNOW, I DID NOT KNOW @ THE TIME I WAS/AM GOING THROUGH A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

I know this illness is so overwhelming, I know exactly how you feel but please trust me when I say, You are a wonderful human being, (a child of God"s creation), you can and will get through this horrendous period with help of Professionals and this wonderful site!!

I hope I have not over indulged too much information and hav"nt offended anyone in any way, that is not my intention, just trying to help a hand that stretched out for help, I am so very grateful, especially to a Member of this Site, who took my hand and helped and guided me!!

Do not hesitate to PM if you wish. I hav"nt got a Magic Wand but sometimes talking to someone, you can identify your feelings with helps.

It did help me a fabulous Member took the time out to respond to me and offered support via PM, so grateful that I did PM member, who helped me immensely!

NO PRESSURE ON YOUR BEHALF, THAT IS THE LAST THING YOU NEED @ MOMENT!!

I wish you well Emzy, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this lifts a little and you feel not so down hearted as there is help and support out there for you 24/7!!

God Bless

Sending you loving, positive healing energies & hugs

Lynn X

[Hidden]

Hi Emzy123, I completely understand how you feel. I have had Fibro for about a year now. I can no longer work, have no income coming or any retirement. I live in the US and have applied for disability, but I hear takes a long time to get approved. In the mean time I have to sell my house to have money to live on. If I'm not approved for disability, I have no idea what to do next.

It sounds you have been dealing with this for a long time. Much longer than I have. As a 54 year old male, I wonder what my future will hold for me. Will I be this way for the rest of my life? But when I feel this way I have to remind myself that if God didn't still have a plan for me, I would no longer be here. Therefore, I pray and take it one day at a time.

I have read on this site about so many people that have been dealing with condition for many years, like yourself, and it gives me hope. For if they can do it, so can I. My heart goes out to you Emzy. Remember you are not alone. You have many friends here on this site to support you. Keep the faith. I send to you my hopes and prayers.

[Furry]

Hi so sorry you are feeling so bad, I know how awful the pain and tiredness can be. It drags you down, especially this time of year. Please don't give up hope . You said that you are a nurse, just thought I'd mention occupational health, I've had so much help from them . Counciling and help with arranging adjusted duties and reduced hours. Please chat to someone , sharing helps so much. Take care. X x

[Cookie72]

Hi Emzy, we all know what you are going thru, .and so sorry you are.having a real rough time at the moment...Ive had this bummer of a conditions for over 50 yrs, only when I was younger they diagnosed it growing pains at first then muscular rhumatism, then realised of course as the years went by it was fibro all along, I also have other conditions. And yes it does make u feel useless, but you are by no means useless, I have been going thru wht you are going thru for the past couple of weeks and also chest infection with Asthma, and felt like you, whats the point it's never gonna stop, so why don't I stop it, BUT then I look around and see so many many people that are worse off, my friend has prostrate cancer AND bowel cancer, he is so so bright about it, that makes me feel " hell what am I moaning about "....I still feel low, but then I have my sorry for me days, and I think we are entitled to with all the pain we are having to go thru on a daily basis with no let up, but Emzy, don't give up, dont feel useless, think of all the times as a nurse the amount of people you have helped, and that is a hard job, you have to be Very dedicated to be a nurse...we are all here for you Emzy, we know and understand just how you are feeling, this is a wonderful site and so many wonderful people all ready to listen to you, ,,,listen and remember what mdaisy has said, ..and remember you aren't useless just going thru a rough time......look forward to reading your further posts....like gins you can pm me if you want to chat...do try the Samaritans ...... Sending you gentle hugs and huge handful of sunshine......Dee xx

[Izumi]

Honey, I am so sorry you are suffering. I am 58 and have just been diagnosed. My elder sister has had MS since 28 and she is my inspiration. You may improve or even recover. Be strong and an example to other young FM sufferers.x

[Emzy123]

Hi everyone thankyou so much for ur support i will take all of ur advice on board ill try my best to be more up beat im tired atm just done a 12 hr shift work again tomorrow x

[Mdaisy in reply to Emzy123]

Hello Emzy123,

Just checking in to see how you've been feeling over the last couple of days. Don't forget we are here and we all understand.

Emma

[moonstonebright]

Hi Emzy, I really can sympathise and battle with frequent suicidal thoughts myself but somehow so far I am still here struggling on. I really think that if things are that bad you need to talk to someone as well as all of us here who can sympathise and empathise maybe you should talk to your doctor?

I hope that things get better for you and you find the reasons to be here and to enjoy some things in your life despite the pain etc you are suffering with. Get some help as soon as you can, the doctor may be able to suggest something to help you.

Best wishes

April

[chrissy30]

As a nurse sweetheart you do a fantastic job. I've suffered for years with Fibro/arthritis/migraine/coeliac disease and other complaints and pain, pain and pain. I'm coming up to my 66th birthday and yes I get low at times but then I pray and ask God to give me the strength to get through one more day and I refuse point blank to give in. Yes we are all different and handle life differently but don't give up as you are not useless in the slightest. Sit down and make a list of the things you do for others and I bet if you do you will see what a wonderful person you are. I've had these conditions since childhood and it has been a struggle at times as at one time I nearly died. Glad I didn't though as I'm still here. Forgot to say I worked in the medical profession as a Counsellor (Mental Health) when younger but had to give up due to accursed illness but I have the greatest admiration for Doctors and Nurses as they do a fantastic Job. I had several major ops in my early 30's and previous to that 3 strokes and that left me with memory/coordination problems and for a time I felt low and then I thought what the heck, life is for living and I shall try to do something useful each day with God's help. Well here I am at almost 66 as still going - God willing. I actually got angry with my illnesses and problems and treat them as a foul enemy as it is a battle to cope with pain and pain and constant pain. I understand how you must feel but please love don't give in to the illness. Go and bash a wall and kick hell out of the door and punch cushions if you can as sometimes that helps. My thoughts are with you so you are not alone in this daily struggle.

[HB1968]

I have felt this way i have tried killing myself some days are unbareable and then it passess and i thank god i did not die. There is hope and help. The most important for me having suffered for 30 years is to take it 1 day at a time.

[basketcase54]

Hi all hi emzy123

im at the stage of wondering why i wake up in a morning as i dont want to im on the work programme and before xmas my advisor told me i wasnt fit to work and to apply for new es50 forms to fill in to see if cud go on suprot group instead i did and foned them on jan 18th they said recieved my forms and were checking the info i sent i phoned again on 23rd and was told they had lost them now they have said i will have to have a medical even tho they have got letters and sick notes etc backing me up im besides myself with worry i live on my own trying to make ends meet i have been on my own 28 years doing everything on my own looking after my son paing bills etc etc now i just cry all time im fed up no one to talk to sit here alone what do i need to do about this medical i need to pass it and im so scared i wont its my arms that are soooooooooooo bad painful elbows arms throb and tingle all time and burn i just dont want to get up in a morn i stay in bed till dinnertime most days as im soooooo tired all the time sorry for my rant

angie x