What can I do to stop feeling so worthless?

I went on a short bus ride(5.mins) to visit my youngest Granddaughter this afternoon, when I reached my stop two older ladies 70-80 years old at a guess, offered to help me off!! I was grateful for the offer, but felt so worthless and annoyed all at the same time! I have to use a cane now as my legs are not to good. P.S I'm only 49!!

18 Replies

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  • Hi life strikes at us in so many ways. The ladys were lovely to offer you a helping hand don't think any more of it . Glad they were there to help. :) If the foot had been on the other foot you would have done the same!

    I know it is horrid for you and I completely understand, I now use to crutches or a wheelchair and you just have to rise above it. May be the answer is a flying carpet :D Take heart take care. xgins

  • I know that everything you have said is right! I would have said the same if it was someone else asking the question! I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself this evening..Thanks gins!!..xx

  • Sorry you are down it is awful isn't it I know just how you feel sometimes it just hits us in waves. I hope it is better today and I send some lovely sunshine to you to make you smile :D

  • Hi there don't know what your worried about and sounds like your falling in that trap that your legs are an age thing well if like mine its not age related and to be honest id want to scratch their eyes out , no seriously just joking for the lighter touch but one thing I understand it getting you down I have many cycles of this myself but try to remember its not age related so chin up lots of cuddles and honest you aren't alone promise I have a degenerate condition myself and its difficult to motivate so I know how you feel and that isn't just a bad day its all my days I just love it when it fills with something warm, loving, funny or friendly xxx

  • Royalspec, what a babe!! Funny too!!! I'm normally a complete nutter with a wicked sense of humor!! I know that if I'm gonna survive this I need to accept!! My body is telling me to, but my brain is having none of it!! (Lots of swearing goes on) lol..But thanks for your comments and love!...xxx

  • I know exactly how you feel I cannot even get to the bus now but I can remember when I was still able to go into town and I actualy felt ashamed (which is stupid I know ) but the older people i.e late 70,s 80,s over took me as my walking is so slow and I to was often asked do I need any help at times I could cry this illness is rapidly taking everything away from me now,but I do hope that you will start to feel better about yourself take care xx p.s there are loads of lovely people on here that will listen to you and give you great advice.

  • Ahh thanks munchkin62!! I'm new to the site as I was only diagnosed on 27th of Dec! But already have learned so much!! All the different topics, information and support is out of this world!! Much love.. xx

  • I wouldn't worry too much ninja ( hope you don't mind me calling you that), I know exactly how you feel I have to use two crutches and there's a gentleman who lives round the corner from me he's nearly 90 im 72, got off the bus in front of me the other day and turned round to help me off, that has happened to me often over the years so I have now accepted it, cos I know it's the sort of thing I would do, and I'm sure you would too, please stop feeling so worthless ninja you aren't worthless at all, you have very debilitating condition and it isn't your fault you are in this position, any how, how can you be worthless when you produced a son or daughter that then gave you that wonderful grandaughter you went to see, you had something to do with that you know.. So come on think positive and make every day count, ....sending you a huge huge gentle hug and a very huge hand full of beautiful sunshine....Dee xxx

  • As always Cookie...your wonderful words of wisdom!! Of course you can call me ninja! It was actually my grandchildren who gave me the name!! (There are five of them and another grandson due in March!) At 49 I do think that's definitely something to be grateful for!! Thanks again.. X

  • Well done for making the effort to go on a bus. I too find it disheartening when older models have the where withal to do all manor of things I can only dream about.

    Apparently I am suppose to strive toward something called "acceptance" of my the state of my health.

    If anyone out there has achieved this. I would be terribly great full if they would bottle it and sell it on eBay.

    Where would we be without children. They bring so much light into my life it helps me to see the way through the gruelling dankness of my days.

    Well most of the time.

    Keep on truckin.

    Ned

  • Ps I love the tag. To have been christen as such by your grandchildren is a great thing.

    You must be very good at creating memories for them. When you sally forth strap on your tough turtle shell and assume the role.

    Ninja

  • Ned! You are spot on when talking about the children! I looked after the last three of them from 6 weeks old when their Mum went back to work! Loved every day!! Acceptance is a little way off for me as well, but its early days and I will do whatever I need to do if it makes me feel better!!

  • And I think you're allowed to give up being strong on occasion. It works for me and works/worked for my friends who have or had a variety of conditions including terminal cancer. I go into a corner, not necessarily a real one, have a cry, not necessarily a real one, and COME OUT FIGHTING. maybe without a hope of winning but, hey.

    Like you, I've only just had a name put to it thought we've been looking at symptoms and eliminating causes for months. Incidentally the investigation found something else unsuspected. Getting a diagnosis was a relief and a bit of a breakthrough and explains an awful lot of what's been going. Luckily I have a great GP who knows how to talk at the patient's level, and is well on board.

    Love your tag!

  • @fenbadger, thanks for the reply! Mine also took an age to diagnose! and deffo was a relief to be able to put a name to it. I also have a fab Dr who makes sure I get the help I need. Physio assessment tomorrow, here's hoping for a move in the right direction!

  • Brilliant. Push on that one though. Physio is one of those "don't tell don't ask" services. They're hard pushed, bless them and if you don't keep on at them, they'll try not to offer. A consultant promised me some "in a month". 9 months later I was still waiting. If I'd know then what I know now I'd have made a nuisance of myself - oh, I do anyway :-)

    I'm not much older than you

  • Hi sorry to learn how you feel its a crushing blow to come to terms with this disease amd a massive learning curve how it rips through and destroys the person you once was .I was diagnosed last March and have had to sit back and evaluate my life daily .from a reasonable fit guy who worked at the same job for 39 years and then one day it was all gone .because I could no longer pass the medical .and I now felt so very alone I live out in the country side no so called neighbours and I was stuck some days I could not even operate the pedals on my car this all led to depression with me .Now I am learning to understand this disease and how it might have a label RA but comes in many disguises affecting us all differently .SO please be strong and learn to face the journey along the curve of life.

  • Ahh thanks for your message clearasred! You're right! The fact that I can't do what I used to is driving me crazy! But I am so lucky to have my boys living near,I don't know how I'd cope being as isolated as you.. I am learning so much from this site and will definitely try to be strong in my new journey!! Much love.xx

  • Hi ninjananna

    I just wanted to say to you that you are clearly not worthless and that you are a wonderful, special and caring human being and you deserve the full respect of others and for yourself.

    Please take care and remember you are the most special person in the whole wide world to those in your life who love you.

    Ken x

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