Feel totally alone and abandoned by everyone in the real world:-(

Feel totally alone and abandoned by everyone in the real world:-(

I don't usually like to post this kind of thing as I do feel it is rather negative......but.......I feel I need to put my thoughts down somewhere. I really feel very down about life at the moment. I have been feeling the effects of illness and progressive disability for over 3 years now. I am not an evil person so why when I need people the most have they turned their backs on me?

I just turned 35 yesterday and spent the day with my mother. I did not have any friends around to take me for a few drinks and spent yesterday evening alone at home. I received 9 birthday cards, 7 of those being from family. My brother called me last night at 9pm almost as an after thought. I have 3 siblings but I have so far only received 2 gifts, the others still being in the post.

I got lots of messages on social media but no-one was actually there in person. I have stopped visiting relatives as it has never been reciprocated. I have lived in the same place for over 6 years and had only a handful of visits. People have often said they would come and visit but they never do. Sometimes I think that if I didn't have my cat I would be a total mess! Sorry about this but I just feel hopeless.

14 Replies

  • Have you tried telling them how you feel? Sometimes people shy away from illness or things they don't understand. Could you try & find a local Fibro group or join some clubs? I know how lonely it can get when you're only friends seem to be behind a computer screen. I'm 31 if you fancy a chat :) beccy23@btinternet.com x

  • Have you tried telling them how you feel? Sometimes people shy away from illness or things they don't understand. Could you try & find a local Fibro group or join some clubs? I know how lonely it can get when you're only friends seem to be behind a computer screen. I'm 31 if you fancy a chat :) beccy23@btinternet.com x

  • Thank you:-) Yes I have tried telling people how I feel but usually they run a mile! I did try a fibro club but I still work full time so I couldn't attend the fortnightly meetings:-( I used to work shifts so I was able to attend sometimes but I had to be re-deployed due to my illness so I now work Monday-Friday. Thanks for the email address, a chat would be nice, mine is mwlk3@aol.com:-)x

  • Hi mikeymoo

    Love the name I think a lot of us feel like this at times, I know I have since 2000 when I was diagnosed with fibro etc I've lost all my friends b4 my illness I was out nearly every weekend with friends never on my own ant my house used to have loads of b/cards but now all I get is 6 and 5 of those are family .

    I had to sell my house in 2004 and moved in with my mum as lost my job in all that time I've only had 1 so called friend came once to see me so without my family I wouldn't see a sole ,the way I look at it is their loss and that's how I came to terms with only family around so chin up buddy

    Tweety x

  • Hi tweety, sorry to hear about all the upheaval. I don't have any close friends around me at all. I do have good friends in Salisbury 230 miles away. It is for this reason I am thinking of re-locating. My family don't really have time for me so there is nothing really keeping me in Wakefield. I just need to find a job down there and hopefully everything else will fall into place:-) I am expressly unhappy with my life at the moment, I definitely need something to change! Hugs x

  • Hi there you know you are loved and sometimes others are busy too with their lives. You know you could do with some real nice gentle hugs right now but one thing I realise as my fibro plus other things progress it limits me to what im able to participate in and share with others that I would have done in the past. Not being funny but maybe you could join a club of people like us just an idea not to give up on life but boy it sure helps remove the isolation as we cant expect our family and friend to totally understand our illness after all its ours but if you were well I bet you would be taking part some more with others. So just maybe you can search for something for your needs and ability's that would enhance your life and this time next year hey who knows but maybe worth a try. I kind of guess what I mean is you'll have social and family and maybe not so lonely. I hate this illness I never know for sure how im going to be from one day to the next.

    but know that, there's so much I cant join in with anymore even as simple as travelling is so wearing. Hope you don't take offence and remember we all here and most I guess are going through similar things in different way so glad you spoke up .

  • Hi there, thanks for this:-) I did join a Fibro club 18 months ago but I gave it up as I still work full time and I couldn't attend the meetings. I also found it difficult as most people I met were a good deal older than me and didn't see things from the same perspective. Also, as I mentioned, I still work full time and most of the people I met either didn't work or were retired. Holding down my job is getting increasingly difficult but I need to keep going as I am the only one paying the bills. I have so many financial commitments, mainly the roof over my head, that I can't contemplate stopping working. Like many of us, my body prevents me from doing almost everything I used to enjoy. I really can't see a way out.

    I live in Wakefield but I have made the decision to move to Salisbury. I lived there from 2002 to 2005 and made a number of friendships. Since I moved back up North I have not had any close friends. Those friends I did have chose to walk away when I became ill. My family are now too busy with their own lives to bother with me so now I have no-one and most of the time it's just me and the cat.

    It is difficult for me to make any new friends as my confidence has been shot to pieces the last couple of years. Anyone (non-fibro sufferers) runs a mile when I try to talk about my illness. This is why I feel so hopeless and yes I do need lots of gentle hugs to remind me people still care.x

  • Happy Belated Birthday Mikeymoo you sound in need of a good dose of fun sometimes it is hard to come by but laughter is such a good medicine. Get your chuckle muscles working and it lightens the spirit.

    You seem to have tried most things that people have suggested in which case it really is up to you to take hold of the situation and breath some life back into your life. I know it is hellishly hard with fibro I know we get beyond explaining again who we are and why we are like this - how difficult every day is- Suggestion what sort of music do you like Jazz traditional orchestral whatever why not join a society that has nothing to do with Fibro meet some new people and try to approach life from a different tack. We are here for you what ever happens and always willing to chat understanding the pain etc that we all suffer from. May be a silly suggestion justthought it might get you out to meet new peeps- Good luck xgins

  • You cat sounds.. lovely.. now men dont often bother with presents and gifts for each other, im sure it is nothing personal. your cat is lovely and probably a great comfort,, it is important to try and meet people.. how about a tai chi class, diy class, art class etc that you can go to after work? x

  • Hi Mikeymoo.

    I feel like this too. I have had fibro for around 17 years but unfortunately had to give up work 3 years ago due to Fibro, Arthritis and slipped disc. I was manager in a large store and was a singer/entertainer in the evenings, travelling all over, but this illness eventually got me. I am married with a very understanding husband, but even he loses his patience with me sometimes and works a lot of hours. I have a daughter (32) who is less than useless, more interested in going out and holidays, doesn't help or visit me. I have lost all my friends, down to working so much in the past. I get very down and feel so lonely. I am 60 and feel I am just waiting to die now.

    Linda xxx

  • Hi Mikeymoo

    I know exactly how you feel I am 51 and have 4 children two of whom live away from the area i live in the others i do see. But as i am divorced i spend so much time on my own and feel so lonely I have a friend who i am supposed to be in a relationship with but it has become a bit of a joke as he is deaf and has a sort of agoraphobia ?space phobia when i lived in my last property 5 months ago he could come and see me and drive there but since i moved he cannot make it to the new place which is only around another 5 minutes away but it is too far for him to come so if i want to see him when he is free i now have to go and fetch him and run him home so i only now see him every other weekend so it can hardly be called a relationship we can't go out anywhere far as he is unable to travel and whilst i do understand his problems and have always been supportive it is hard when i hear of the things he used to do with his ex wife and his last girlfriend compared to what he can do now. I know its not easy with me because of my health problems. But it does get so lonely when you spend so much time on your own I have a small dog and she is my company and that is it. I don't see anything in the future getting any better at the moment either it is ok for everyone to say think positive but everytime i try that something then happens to knock me back again. I am always there for everyone else but sometimes it feels that they are never there for me. I think if we could see some sort of light at the end of the tunnel it would be a little bit better. You are still young at 35 so i hope you find something or someone who will make you happy at least if we have company i think it helps things. Loneliness is a very difficult thing to deal with. Take care Jackie

  • Thank you for your reply. That is a strange set up with you and your friend but at least you have each other. I do feel exactly the same about the future, I just take each day as it comes at the moment. I have been a singleton most of my adult life. It's really strange now as I'm not even interested any more. Maybe that will change if I meet the right person but I don't know how this will happen. It was difficult enough meeting people before I had fibro. I've just got to hope things will get better:-) Hugs x

  • Hi I have found that at times I have bouts of deppression and it sometimes lasts 2 to 3 weeks at a time ! and feel very down , like Im sure your feeling right now !

    I found its to do with the fibro and have to give it time to pass ! I have always found that doing things on line to help animals and children and signing petition to help them gets me through a lot of the time , I can see you like animals with your lovely cat. why not give it a try. I lost my best pal my molly (dog ) early on this year! she was 15 .and I miss her more than words can say !!!! but I found helping other animals that need help as help me .There are sites like care one and care two , or Animal Aid uk, BUAV, Uncaged and lots of others out there, if you would like to chat i,ll send you my e-mail

    Take care From Valaan

  • Hi there, I'm afraid I can't remember the last time I wasn't depressed:-( I just feel so down. I have even tried a number of different anti-depressants and I didn't feel any better. I tell my doctor how I feel and he doesn't know what to do.

    Sorry to hear about Molly, Iost my last cat 8 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I do love animals and I often think I prefer them to people:-)

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