Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. They
rediscover each other via Friends Reunited and arrange to meet for lunch.
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of
Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number. After the
initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.
Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots.
She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she
met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is
a partner in one of London's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft
apartment on Park Lane and Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school.
They have a second home in Portugal.
Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to become
a doctor and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial
Investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and
have a second home in Italy.
Mary explains that after she left school at 17, she ran off with her
boyfriend, Mark. They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow their own
vegetables. Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts
out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco, they live in a small
apartment in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front drive.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that
she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people's home.
They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.
Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
This just goes to show that you should never believe anything without further investigation!