Hi all I was just wondering if other people like me get very scared of going out to family events or even just going to places were there are crowds. I went to a charity night on Friday as it was for a family member, I just couldn't wait to get it over with and get out I felt soooooo stressed with people around me , my husband was with me and he knows it was hard for me to go but I went and had to make an excuse to leave as my head was banging . Even though its great to see my family I get really scared and don't know why. Any one like this and is it part of the fibro. Thanks.

17 Replies

  • im the same ive missed so many family events i just dont feel comfortable around a lot of people im a home person cant take the stress of all the questions about my condition so i just stay home x

  • I have a similar worry. I am supposed to go to Wimbledon on 5th July and I should be looking forward to it but I worry about being jostled in crowds, twisting to avoid people and not being able to sit when I need to - never mind I might be overcome with fatigue or get a migraine whilst there. It is my friends birthday and she adores tennis and is highly energetic so part of it is that I don't want to appear lazy or a mardy woman and spoil things for her. The other day I met my friend and my 81/2 year old goddaughter for lunch at 12.30 on a saturday for 2 hours and I ended up spending the rest of the day in bed fighting a migraine (comes from my shoulder locking up my nerves) - how pathetic is that??? I get very confused about when it may or may not strike. So you are definately not alone. Btw I used to be extremely gregarious so this wasn't always my attitude:( I agree questions can be overwhelming as you often feel defeated before you even begin trying to explain. Sending empathetic thoughs to you from someone who needs no explanations from a fellow sufferer. Be kind to yourself and take care xx

  • I think that this is common in people with chronic pain syndromes. The effort and discomfort of outings, plus the fear of further pain and embarrassment is enough to put you off altogether

    If I attend a family 'do', I always make sure I have an escape strategy planned, otherwise I won't go. If people question me, I change the subject by asking them about their own illnesses - which they would much rather talk about!

    Moffy x

  • I do know what you mean. Sometimes I find even a difficult conversation (anything that makes me tense up) is enough to cause a flare up. I try not to let it stop me doing the things I want to do though. Escape plan sounds like a good option!

  • There's one thing I've noticed about havin fibro and not being able to socialise at all,is who your friends are!!

  • Hi,

    I have a fear of crowds, have to sit at the back of a plane sos noone is behind me. Cant take crowds of people coming towards me in a shopping centre. I usually end up going along with my back against the shop fronts till I can get out. I will not travel to anywhere out of my comfort zone that I don't know. So made DWP come to me for home visit as said I'd end up having a panic attack, would need diazepan and wouldn't guarantee I could be compus mentos after an hour. No probs they said.

    If I know I've a do or a concert to go to then its a diazepam before I leave home, my mp3 on the way with chill out music to calm me. When I get there I need to find all the exit routes and the loo before I can sort of calm down. My brain knows I can then run if it all gets too much, if only it would tell my body that!!!! I once spent an hour in a shopping centre loo lockied in with a panic attack and the same happened at an airport, so I've learnt and so has hubby the hard way!

    It doesn't matter how rubbish I feel, I just say 'well I'm upright and on my legs, thats all I can ask' it usually enough to stop people probing, and as everyone else says I just turn the tables and ask about them.

    Boy am I drained the following day after these sort of do's, and yes I do miss a lot of do's but a lot of the family are great and understand.

    Lynn x

  • Hi, think anxiety/panic attacks and agoraphobia seem to be part of fibromyalgia. I haven't travelled for years now and hate going out of the house. Being over tired seems to trigger my anxiety and although I'm tired all the time, some days are worse than others. I have to sleep every afternoon, sometimes for the whole afternoon and then I'm still tired when I wake up.

    This illness has made me frightened of my own shadow and there are things I would love to do. I've tried everything, exercise, diet etc but nothing eases it.

    I think I'll do it when I'm better, but in reality, I'm not going to get better.

    No one can help NO ONE :( x

  • Agree with 'afraid of my own shadow'. Yesterday I nearly jumped out of my skin just because the neighbour said hello to me before I noticed her! Sometimes my husband comes into the bedroom and I nearly jump through the roof with fright.

    I heard a theory that with fibro our brains are on constant high alert (fight or flight response). Think there may be something in that....

  • Thanks for all your replies its just nice to know I'm not on my own. It's bad as I use to be out going, but I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack mostly around strangers or anyone really if I'm honest . I just want to be normal and enjoy life a bit but I carnt with this anxiety. Thank you everyone .

  • Oh I can definitely identify with this - it crept up slowly weeks can go by and I may not have been out of the house.

  • Hi, I recently started having panic attacks. I had to have scan, 1 where I should have laid there strapped to a table for 2 hrs whilst they put dye in and scanned me . I got on table they put strap round and one injected me. That was it ,,,,, I started crying and shouting for them to get me out I was hysterical. I didn't have scan. Next was the polo one which I did have but nurse had to stay near door so I could see them. Never used to be like this, didn't realise it was my fibro causing something else. I do go out ok but careful where I go and of getting closed in anywhere. Xx

  • I'm the same, I hate going out of my comfort zone. I too was very outgoing before, even used to go public speaking. I hate my life now.

  • Hiya ... I completely understand... large party's with all that noise, strong smells, bright light, constant chattering... gets unbearable.. as lady moth says have an "escape plan".... I am going to my husband's granny' s 100th birthday party next week .... everyone else is excited and I am dreading it... in fact I am trying not to think about it.... I have forced myself to buy a new dress... that was an ordeal in itself as I hate shopping... so stressful... anyway I have already thought of my "get out plan" ... there will be over 100 people there...many I don't's at a large hotel in Blackpool... so when the "going gets tough" ..... I plan on taking a break to get some fresh air by taking a stroll along the beach (yes even if it's raining!!").... this will help to clear my mind and escape from the noise. A bit of peaceful "me" time and hopefully I will survive!!! I will be staying clear of the alcohol as that really messes me up. I feel more comfortable and confident in my "home environment" where I can control what is happening to me. Take care xxx :)

  • Thank you everyone again you have all given some good advice . Take care. Annex

  • Thank goodness for ladymoth ur explanation has reasured me I thot I was just some kind of weirdo.ive always enjoyed a good social life I had 3 jobe a family to take care of and I didnt realize this could be part of fibro even the thought of going out socially or shopping distresses me jeez o I thot I was losi g my sanity but most of my friends and family have given up I viti g me anywhere and can be very off with me for not attempting to go.but hey ho thats the life of a fybromite I suppose. Xx ? thank you all for your input o this subject . gentle

  • I`m so glad to have read this post, i`m exactly the same - i think its to do with lack of confidence in myself and my body. I had two family dos last wend and the previous week i worried myself silly over it. I agree its noise, light and lots of people all chattering. I`ve always been a home bird, but i did like outings - friends are understanding but my life is definitely shrinking - the other thing is i feel like a parcel that has to be transported and parked somewhere! I think one of the worst things is not being able to commit to invitations unless they`re just round the corner - in case the day turns out badly. The only person i feel safe with is my husband, and we do go out together more now - god bless him, and all of you!xxx

  • It's nice to know that there are others out there going through this. I look out the window and everyone is going out. It's like life is passing me by. I get really tense in a social situation.(I use to teach English to adults) And now I have trouble sitting in a group and talking to anyone. My home is my comfort zone. It's my sanctuary. I do miss going out like I use too. Never thought I'd be in this situation. God bless you all.

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