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Fertility Network UK
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Struggling to stay positive ahead of 1st IVF cycle

Im new to this site however feel in need of some words of encouragement and any good outcome stories. I am currently taking the nasal spray and am due to start hormone injections next week. In many ways I am excited however cant seem to shake these negative thoughts and am convinced that this cycle and indeed future ones will be unsuccessful;. I know I should be in a better mind set and have put on this 'front' to friends and family however can't help it at the minute. I think this is my way of preparing myself for any outcome however really wish I could believe in myself more and believe that we really do have a chance. I have unfortunately been told of so many negative stories re: IVF that I have come to believe the same for me. To be honest I am a bit of a pessimist anyway who is prone to 'pity parties' however worry that this will impact on my chances of success.

I have very little information re: my condition as during the appointment with my consultant last year when he told me the results of my hormone porfile my mind went blank. I do know I have a low ovarian reserve. My husbands sperm is normal.

I want a child so badly that I worry about the long term impact on my mental health, this is probably why I am deliberately not getting my hopes up.

7 Replies


I can identify with what you say about the negative feelings. For me, I think that not allowing too much hope has been a way of trying to protect myself from the possibility of getting too excited, because I'm so worried that I might later be disappointed. Sometimes, it's just too painful to be optimistic. That said, I feel that there is always hope. I am 39 and have a long history of endometriosis, but have become pregnant after a frozen cycle of IVF (am currently just over 7 weeks). It's still early days in my pregnancy, but things do seem to be going okay, so I'm just beginning to allow myself to think that IVF can work!

I hope that you have a good experience of IVF. Good luck and keep up posted.


Thank you for the response - I'm delighted to heat your good news. I suppose I just have to try and strike up a balance in my own thoughts over these next few weeks. I really underestimated the emotional roller coaster of IVF !!! I actually long for the day when I get my life back and don't obsess about pregnancy and babies !! Its such a surreal an exhsusting experience snd im only on my first cycle. Thats what worries me - that this is the start of many more stressful years. anyway enough of that i have to BELIEVE !! Thanks again


I can totally identify with what you say as well (in fact I think we're both in the same place as I replied to your other post too.)

I have had a roller coaster of TTC for nearly 3 years plus being told only hope egg donation/imminent menopause. It's such a huge thing to deal with you go into a grieving phase. Being told so many negative things really does make its impact on your thoughts and it gets harder and harder to stay positive all the time, its exhausting. Do you think it would help with you thought process to get a copy of the letter explaining your exact condition? Maybe then you can read some positive stories of women who have gone through the same thing. I found the Stork Club helped, a easy read with lovely outcome, actually I might read it again.

After saving up the money for what feels like years, its been about 10 months, we finally have decided on a clinic (hopefully) and have initial consultation tomorrow and then can talk about our options, hopefully my sister will be donating eggs. Most of the time I just feel like I will never have a family of my own. We have one shot at IVF with a 60% chance of it working. Arrgggg, but its better than the 1% we have on our own. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts! If you want to chat any time please do xx

Noper big congrats to you that's wonderful news, I wish you well and that gives me hope as I'm 39. xx


I have had two rounds of ivf and second time lucky I have a beautiful baby girl who is now 6mths old and feel very privileged to be a mum. My advice is to stay relaxed positive and I found reflexology helped me to prepare too. I wish you all the luck in the world and to all who are having treatment xx. Sounds silly too but I was told to drink pineapple juice during egg collection and during implantation its suppose to help and I did this on round two xx


Thank you everybody for your response - it's very comforting to hear of other people's stories, I know I'm not alone !! I think I have to just go with it and try not to think about what happens after ... If I get to implantation stage I will be delighted as I'm convinced I won't respond well to hormones !! > completely negative but I'm just so anxious !!

Good luck everybody xxx


Hello ....i am on my first try of IVF and have found the right clinic thankfully they are wonderful and so attentive and you have two contacts and they are always available i have heard some stories of other clinics which haven't been too good.... but that was the first bit i am now at the stimulation stage of my treatment, my first injections went well and after my scan it showed that my ovaries are sleeping ... and my clinic are now in control .... quite scary but also so amazing what can be done these days .... i am 41 and so long for children i have been told by the clinic i have a 5/10% chance that was daunting to know but i suffer for years from endometriosis but you have to remain relaxed and positive ... i am a Capricorn and worry about many things but what will be will be there is nothing you can do about it your body and the clinic is now in control you have to just follow, i decided that i needed to be level headed i am ready for a negative or positive outcome (Be Happy Be Positive i know how hard this is but a change in thoughts does really help) .... i am trying Fertility Acupuncture as i have been told this increases your chance too .... there are many ladies in the same situation and I wish you all the best to having your dreams fulfilled ...


I am with NHS at the minute. I'm also trying acupuncture though am not convinced !! Now that I'm off work for a few weeks I might be a bit more relaxed. Your attitude is great, very positive !! Thank you xxx


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