Tried for 3 years, not getting anywhere, Dr's apprehensive to help!

Im 25 and my husband is 22, We've tried to get pregnant for 3 years now. My Periods have become more and more erratic and now stopped completely, I went for an internal ultrasound and had bloods done and doctors cant find anything wrong with me and any reason why im not ovulating however they're reluctant to do anything to help!! I am technically obcese and this seems to be the Dr's only point, they don't to want to help me at all, no options, no way forward nothing. The whole situation is getting me so depressed, Ive seen so many dr's and nobody can offer me any pathways what so ever! As soon as my husband was cleared as ok with his tests they said its my weight, but I used to ovulate and haven't gained any weight since then so why is it now becoming erratic!! Why wont anyone help? Would love to hear some stories from women who've been in similar situations, I'm sure this cant just be me......

11 Replies

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  • Most clinics won't offer help unless you get your BMI under 30 anyway which is annoying! That's probably why they're reluctant to help. :(

  • This isn't even a clinic it's my GP, they haven't ruled out PCOS or thyroid problems or anything, they don't seem bothered that I've stayed the same weight but my periods have gone from erratic to non existent. I don't understand why they're not as perplexed as me!! Makes me not feel like a woman :(

  • You say they have taken bloods and done tests ... do you know what these were for? They may well have been thyroid etc.and that has been ruled out already. It is really important you get the answers you want and feel listened to - you deserve this and shold push to get it.. Go back to the drs and book a double appointment. .. ask for a dr who specialises in women's health at your surgery even if not your dr (they often have them in medium and slightly larger surgeries). In terms of fertility if there is no aggravating factor your age, your weight and the fact you have only been ttc for 3 years count against you. On the other hand I would be worried about the underlying potential health issues your erratic periods and ovulation are pointing to. Do things to take care of yourself and feel feminine, there is much more to beING a woman than Fertility but I understand how feels!

    Your top priority though is sorting your diet and exercise to optimise your health and fitness andbring your bmi down .... if and when you do have to go down a Fertility route this will stand you in better sread than anything else x take care and good luck.

  • Hi Datak. The usual blood tests that are carried out are to check hormone levels such as FSH, LH and thyroxine. Done on Day 2 or 3 of your menstrual cycle. There is another one called a Day 21 progesterone test to check for ovulation - done as it says, on Day 21 of your cycle.I am certain that you are doing everything that you can to lose weight, but whatever you are doing, whether at a slimming club or on your own, make sure that you are keeping a record of your losses, however small, so that you can prove you are trying. A practice nurse at your GP practice would weigh you and keep a record too, if you don’t want to join a slimming club. Swimming, if possible, is good too. If you can afford to attend one of these fitness centres, then speak to one of the advisors. He/she will be able to help you with your diet requirements and also the correct exercising that you require.

    Hopefully, if you can get down to a BMI of below 30 you may start ovulating naturally again. If, when you get down to an ideal weight you still have problems, then you will be sent to see a fertility specialist. If a problem were found with your hormones/ovulation, then it might be possible to prescribe a drug called Clomid for you, I don’t know, as it depends what any investigations revealed, and whether your tubes are OK. It would usually be done through your clinic/hospital. It is doubtful that your GP would be willing to prescribe the drug for you because of side effects. However, there is a drug called Metformin you might like to speak to your GP about, which can sometimes help with ovulation and weight loss in some cases. Hope this helps a little and good luck with it all. Diane

  • Hi Diane, I think was meant for original chick rather than me :) just thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to mesg her more directly xxx

  • Hi Datak. Oops! Sorry about that. Have now sorted it, and thanks for pointing it out to me. Diane

  • Hun I'm really sorry to hear what a terrible time you're having X Have you tried the low GI diet? X the only reason I say this is my fertility consultant told me this is the only healthy eating plan that would work for me as I'm PCO after 5 years of trying we at last know what is wrong X also I have high insulin levels coz of my PCO ( borderline diabetic type 2) X with ovulation problems ( mine showed not through bloods like most people! But by having menstrual cycle problems : bleeding/cramping in between periods, heavy periods -to the point whereI'm anaemic and being prescribed ferrous sulphate). I started my first cycle of clomid last week. X since starting the low GI diet I've lost over a stone in a week it dose work and unlike most diets you don't feel hungry X if you do need clomid (to help you ovulate) it dose need to be authorised by a fertility specialist X my consultant has issued me 3 months worth and has given my GP permission to prescribe me another 3 months worth X is it worth switching Drs if they don't refer you?x everyone is entitled to see a fertility specialist for an initial appointment X for women under 35 you have to be trying for 2 years unless a cause is known for the infertility X you fight girl don't let them fob you off X it's your right to see an expert X sadly sometimes you have to fight to get anywhere with this - I know this one too well.. Good luck you can do this X X X

  • I was and am again in the same kind of boat as you. We had tried unsuccessfully to conceive so went to see my GP as my periods were erratic/non-existent and ovulation was a bust. The first GP wouldn't do anything, blaming it all on my weight and absolutely nothing was done to look into anything. I went to see a different GP at our practice and whilst he did comment on my weight he sent me for blood work and found that I had Hypothyroidism so I was prescribed Levothyroxine and told to lose a bit of weight (something that I have always struggled to do) and come back if things still weren't progressing.

    I went back again to the second GP after three months and a little lighter and after an internal ultrasound he marked me down as having "unexplained infertility" and prescribed me Provera to force a period and Clomid to force an ovulation for six months. Five months in and we had no luck whatsoever with conception (but my periods were coming regularly and I was ovulating) so he asked us back in for a chat where he told me that he wanted me to stop taking the Clomid as he felt that it wasn't working and that we were being sent to see a fertility specialist at our hospital as he felt that IVF was the way forward. I was given instructions to get a HSG which he managed to book for me as I was actually on my period then.

    My hubby wasn't overly keen on me not taking that last month of Clomid whereas I didn't see the point but I took it because he and my mum asked me to and here we are now with our awesome little girl!

    We actually want to try and add on to our family now but again, my periods are erratic/non-existent again (currently on CD129) and I've been back to the GP's. I couldn't get in to see the second guy this time around but the GP I saw referred me straight on to a fertility specialist at the hospital who proceeded to berate me about my weight (annoyingly I'm the same weight now as I was the first time we tried and she and I are the same size but she managed to make me feel like utter crap!) and wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. She gave me blood forms to be collected on CD2 and CD21 and the information to book in for a HSG again but when I explained that my periods were irregular she didn't care so I'm still waiting to be able to go and get the first set of bloods taken.

    I've not had much time lately but I'm going to go and book back in with the second GP that I saw and if he feels that I need to see the specialist before anything else can be done then that's fine but I'm going to ask to be referred to a different person because I can't get on with the last woman that I saw.

    Sorry for how long winded that all was! All I can say to you, from my experience, is try to lose a little weight - it shows the Dr that your willing to lose it and you'll feel better for it (I'm over on the weight loss boards here too as I want to lose weight anyways to get myself happy and healthy.) Try a few different GP's at your practice if possible until someone hears you out and if that doesn't work maybe look into a different practice all together or enquire at a specialist fertility clinic.

    I know the waiting around and no answers is annoying and I remember how gutted we were with getting nowhere so I genuinely hope that you start getting somewhere soon hun. xx

  • Hi OriginalFlick. Opps! sent this to Datak by mistake, so back to you this time. The usual blood tests that are carried out are to check hormone levels such as FSH, LH and thyroxine. Done on Day 2 or 3 of your menstrual cycle. There is another one called a Day 21 progesterone test to check for ovulation - done as it says, on Day 21 of your cycle.I am certain that you are doing everything that you can to lose weight, but whatever you are doing, whether at a slimming club or on your own, make sure that you are keeping a record of your losses, however small, so that you can prove you are trying. A practice nurse at your GP practice would weigh you and keep a record too, if you don’t want to join a slimming club. Swimming, if possible, is good too. If you can afford to attend one of these fitness centres, then speak to one of the advisors. He/she will be able to help you with your diet requirements and also the correct exercising that you require.

    Hopefully, if you can get down to a BMI of below 30 you may start ovulating naturally again. If, when you get down to an ideal weight you still have problems, then you will be sent to see a fertility specialist. If a problem were found with your hormones/ovulation, then it might be possible to prescribe a drug called Clomid for you, I don’t know, as it depends what any investigations revealed, and whether your tubes are OK. It would usually be done through your clinic/hospital. It is doubtful that your GP would be willing to prescribe the drug for you because of side effects. However, there is a drug called Metformin you might like to speak to your GP about, which can sometimes help with ovulation and weight loss in some cases. Hope this helps a little and good luck with it all. Diane

  • Hi ladies thanks for all your advice. I saw another GP he blamed everything on my weight & refused to do anything else until I lost weight. This entire situation is really getting me down now. I've never felt so belittled and patronised as I do in a dr's room trying to talk about my problems. They never offer me help or comment on anything except just that I need to lose weight. What people don't understand is that I don't feel hunger. I don't eat 3 meals a day it's usually 1 meal a day so regardless of what diet I don't lose weight. I don't eat crap, I'm lactose entolerant and don't eat dairy. I don't like sweets or chocolate (unless I'm due a period which I haven't had since Dec 2015). I don't eat crisps or bread or pasta just due to tastes. Usually I have cooked skinless chicken breast and veg with an occasional jacket potatoe but I'm not a pig. I feel like the dr's look at me as if I eat all crap all the time and I hate it!!!!

  • Hey originalflick,

    Sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time with your doctors.

    If doctors have carried out tests on yourself and your partner and they have come back satisfactory it may well be that they do feel that weight loss could result in you ovulating again?

    Could it be that your not loosing weight because you aren't eating enough? Sounds silly I know but your body will store fat when you don't eat enough. 3 healthy and well balanced meals a day is what you should aim for even if just small portions if you don't feel very hungry?

    A friend of mine is in a similar situation. Her periods were all over the place which lead to testing which showed that she was not ovulating. Doctors put this down to her weight. She's now lost a lot of weight and although she still isn't ovulating doctors are investigating further and have put her on some medication.

    I know it probably feels like the doctors are being horrible and unhelpful but it may well just be that their hands are tied at the moment and they have done all tests they need to? I think to be referred to a clinic you need to meet all the requirements and it may well be that the GP can't refer you until you do?

    I really hope you get the help you need xxx